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Cunnilingus- Inventory of Parts : They All Work

– you should read the previous post before diving into this more technical second part –

As happens with manual stimulation, the most common mistake of the eager novice is to focus too narrowly on what is assumed to be the most important piece of real estate. Every square millimeter of a woman’s sexual anatomy is capable of responding to oral stimulation and will do so reliably if given half a chance. Going straight for the clit and licking, flicking, sucking, and slurping madly away at it is much more apt to produce irritation, both physical and emotional, than satisfaction. Let’s start by reconnoitering the entire terrain, up close and personal.

Five basic components that respond to oral stimulation: labia, clit, vestibule, fourchette (where lips meet, near anus) and surrounding musculature, and vagina. Lips like to be pinched between the teeth and pulled, or sucked firmly. In addition to suction, clits take to being squeezed being the teeth. Be sure to keep the hood in place and gently scrape the shaft and gland with the edges of your teeth. Like the cut edge of an exposed cable, there are 8000 nerve ending in a clit, so the SLOW, gentle drag of a sharp, wet tooth edge is exquisitely intense. Covering your uppers with a hooked lip is never a bad idea. The vestibule, being the most sensitive part, needs gentle, moist contact. When taking a mouthful, your tongue will naturally rest there. Grasp the clitoris between your upper teeth and tongue and gently nod your head, subtly stimulating the vestibule with each movement.  The fourchette responds well to licking and the contact of your face pressed against it, stimulating the important muscles of the pelvic floor. Your tongue won’t reach very far into the vagina, and it doesn’t have to. As you press your face to the fourchette, your tongue will penetrate just far enough to stimulate the nerves at the entrance. Wide, circular, lapping motions with a flat tongue feel good there too.

Start with just your hands, massaging partner’s fourchette, and the muscles around it until she’s fully relaxed and starting to move her hips. Before seeking out all hidden treasures, begin by taking the entire vulva into your mouth in a slow, powerful, sucking embrace with lips and tongue and working all that sensitive tissue around in leisurely swirls. You’ll quickly discover, as with ikea furniture, that no extra parts are included in the package; everything serves a purpose. Likewise, your own inventory includes more than one relevant subassembly. Mouths work best in concert with hands, and tongues can’t do their best work without the support of knowing lips and teeth.

If the intended mood is playful and teasing, spend time massaging and manipulating the labia, clitoral hood, and the muscles surrounding the vaginal opening until she’s pulling at your hair or other variations (really bucking her hips, etc) demonstrating her urgent need. Do things to her outer labia that men like having done to their scrotums: pulling, pinching, twisting, stretching, and tugging. Stretch her flesh slowly and firmly.

Put an arm around her hip with your hand resting on her stomach, or reach up and grab a breast or her hand. The secret is to stick with any one move until you feel a response from her before making the next one.

As the heat rises, place your upper jaw across her pubic bone at the base of the clit and lower jaw over the introitus (vaginal opening). Rest the entire weight of your head on her mound and nuzzle slowly, applying the gentlest of suction, perhaps combined with the smallest of nodding motions. Breathing in, pull the vulva into mouth, releasing it as exhaling. Continue until she breathes with you.

Something else that works well is to place your lower teeth at the base of the clit and, with your upper teeth, bite the flesh above her vulva as you move your chin toward her belly button an inch or two. This stretches the clit, and should feel fantastic.

All it comes down to is that cunnilingus is not a competitive sport- it has no single goal but rather a multiplicity of purposes. For some, it leads to orgasms as nothing else can. For others, it’s a vital element of foreplay, without which penetrative intercourse is essentially a labor of love. Some men are highly aroused by the intimate contact of mouth on vulva. Others practice cunnilingus as a form of worship, meant to convey a strong desire to please and appreciation of the opportunity to do so. But keep in mind that you don’t ‘give’ your partner orgasms; you can only offer assistance through your attention to her desires. At its best, it should be easy, mutual pleasure. The exact form that pleasure takes is a discovery you’ll make along the way.

Enthusiasm more important than technique? Cunnilingus : Working Under the Hood

Whatever your excuses or hesitations when it comes to putting your face between a woman’s legs, now’s the time to get over them. If you think that pussy is somehow ‘dirty’, know that a freshly washed vulva is considerably cleaner than a human mouth, so if you’re willing to kiss, you should have no problem with applying your lingual skills farther south.

While porn has become a de facto form of sex instruction in a society that does a poor job of conveying technical specifics by other means, some of what it teaches is just plain wrong and needs to be unlearned by anyone wishing to please a fellow human, as opposed to emulating the formulaic acts of professional performers. Good cunnilingus is all but invisible to the observer, as it requires a tight seal of mouth on vajayjay and much more sucking than licking. The dreadful, open-mouthed, tongue flicking you see on video is meant to expose the action to the camera, not to be copied at home. The mark of good cunnilingual technique is an upper lip hooked down over the clit hood, with all the important action going on out of sight underneath.

Cunnilingus is not something you do to your partner. It’s something the two of you do together, and that’s where we move beyond the realm of the purely mechanical. If your partner doesn’t communicate her desires, your powers lose their magic. A woman who actively participates in cunni will get a lot more out of it than one who lies back passively. Direct instructions such as ‘a little more to the left’ or ‘ouch, too hard!!’ and the time-honored face-grinding/hair-and-ear-pulling method of signaling for more or less of whatever you’re doing are helpful, but the most important means of communications are subtle and intimate. Tell your partner to squeeze her vajay whenever she’d like to yell, yelp, scream, beg, plead, or whimper. How and when she tightens and relaxes her pelvic muscles, rocks her hips, and arches her back speak directly to your mouth. I’ve found that too much screaming or trashing can be a way of hiding the fact that somebody’s not really present or having a good time.

**Aside: Bare skin transmits sensation more effectively and subtly than fuzzy flesh, so shaving the outer lips is an easy way to enhance the pleasure of oral sex. I’m aware that the ‘hair-versus-bare’ debate has passionate partisans on both sides and that personal fetishes and political convictions complicate the question. Certainly, this is a matter of individual discretion, and suggestions from lovers are best couched in the most diplomatic language possible. But my own politics in this regard are purely hedonistic.**

Here’s my simplest and best universal approach to cunnilingus under the widest variety of circumstances: when in doubt, apply pressure and leave it to her to supply the movement.

Fortunately, there is other advice for do-it-yourselves. I’ve always been fascinated by vajayjays, starting with my own, and I’ve learned to make friends with different kinds of them. So can you. Let’s earn you your diving certificate. (see upcoming post!)

Pancakes on Weekend Mornings: Morning-After Behaviors and Oddities

I used to think Morning-After etiquette was basic innate knowledge, but some people never had sex out of a relationship, or some others are just socially underdeveloped. With a little forethought and some quick thinking this potential Venus-and-Mars minefield can be diffused easily and without the hard feelings that embitter people toward the opposite sex over time.

So, the morning after: Great sex or not, a polite ‘good morning’ chat is in order. You needn’t allude to the act itself; it may be wiser not to in case your ‘that was amazing’ is not reciprocated. Depending on the length of your acquaintance (fifth date, friends for years and then boom or one-night before a stressful meeting/exam the next morning), you may feel  snuggly but keep to the generalities of ‘What’s your plan for the day’ This gives both of you an out if the last thing you want is to play hooky together. If the answer is in mono-syllables, you should still be gallant and offer you lover first dibs on the shower (in case (s)he wants to take flight ASAP, or that shower could be just another testosterone-filled excuse so (s)he can score an extra morning session before (s)he starts the day.). Share your toothbrush. It’s very rude to be squeamish about toothbrushes with someone you’ve slept with. And it’s better than showing off your extensive collection of brand new ones kept for this purpose.

 

No matter what your intentions are, get dressed in the morning. (night-before tip: Be sure to keep your clothes in a close-together pile; it won’t do to spend painful moments awkwardly searching for your underwear, so either keep it close by, or prepare the possibility of losing those underpants forever) Strolling around nude, or even in pjs, is intimate, couple behavior. Yeah, it’s true that you got more than naked with them last night. But just so that no one mistakes sex for love, get dressed. Besides, people can look ‘different’ the next morning, and sometimes sobriety and daylight make for unpleasant discoveries. It’s especially nice to offer that second robe you keep on hand or a clean shirt. Just be aware that you may not ever see the garment again.

 

How you both handle breakfast tells you as much about what’s going on between you as the night before. If the sleepover occurred at your place, you really should offer something no matter how you feel. You fucked him/her, you can pour him/her a glass of OJ. That’s all you have to do if you’re mortified. Even if you don’t think they’re relationship material, you can still give them a bowl of Cheerios and a coffee. Reserve the offer to make pancakes or, most romantic of all, an invitation to the greasy spoon around the corner for someone you really like.  (Is there anything cuter than a greasy spoon on a Sunday at noon? All those sex-drunk, messy haired new couples sharing the NY Times?) This is vital. There’s something about pancakes on weekends mornings that makes people make more of the morning after than just a morning-after; use them with caution.

If you are one without thoughts of a repeat performance, be clear- nicely- right now. And go ahead and lie ‘’I’m not in the market for dating right now. I guess I’m still not over Bingo yet’’ is better than’‘I just really needed to get laid last night/needed a break from studying’’

Or you can definitely ask for partner’s number next morning, if sex preceded courtship. Anyhow, what you can expect is from a range of civilized polite behavior to friendliness post –casual sex. Unfortunately, many men get terrified and assume that you’ll want to be choosing china patterns if he so much as gets acquainted with your breasts.

That’s why another option is to leave before partner wakes up, because who are we kidding, the only reason you were over in the first place was because it’s socially retarded to have sex in a cab, and the only reason you stayed over was because you couldn’t find your way out of there.

oh, and like a notch in a belt, some people choose to collect items from lovers as tokens of their night together. Whether it’s sweatshirts or lighters, this is not a practice of a fab person- at least not one out of high school.

E-Cards Notify Sex Partners About STDs

It has never been so important to check your inbox.

Four years after the launch of inSPOT.org, which allows people with sexually transmitted diseases to notify sexual partners via email, nearly 50,000 e-cards have been sent, according to an article published in PLoS Medicine.

The site is designed to increase the notification of partners — part of an overall strategy to prevent and control sexually transmitted diseases. In the U.S. there are 19 million new cases of sexually transmitted diseases diagnosed each year, including 900,000 cases of chlamydia, 330,000 cases of gonorrhea, and 55,400 HIV infections, according to the PLoS Medicine article.

In 2004, the San Francisco Department of Public Health and the Internet Sexuality Information Services conducted research on gay men and men who have sex with men. Researchers concluded that while men are likely to tell their primary partners about diagnoses, they are not as likely to inform casual partners.

The study showed that men overwhelmingly said they would inform casual partners if there were a convenient and anonymous way to do so. The San Francisco Department of Public Health and the Internet Sexuality Information Services then partnered to launch inSPOT. It has since been expanded to other parts of the country and now targets heterosexuals as well.

The email service of inSPOT allows users to choose whether they want to include their own email addresses or not. E-cards include links to information about where and how to get tested. So far, more than 30,000 people have sent over 49,500 cards. In 2007, 28.5% of recipients clicked through the link for testing information.

In 2006 and 2007, e-cards were sent because of these STDs:

• 15.4% of e-cards were sent for gonorrhea
• 14.9% for syphilis
• 11.6% for chlamydia
• 9.3% for HIV
• 48.8% for other STDs (such as trichomoniasis, viral hepatitis, pubic lice or “crabs,” and others)

Thank God for Internet?

Fifth Base: Why, and Why Not?

Anal Sex: so shouldn’t your only motivation be hedonistic, as all in life, since it feels good and doesn’t hurt anyone? (or does it?) Why aren’t we all doing it then? Here are some typical knee-jerk (or sphincter-clench) stereotypes about anal sex.

Stereotype #1: Anal Sex is Dirty
Since solid waste is eliminated from the body via the anus, many believe that butts are ”dirty” by default. This seems logical, and people don’t often think to look beyond it. In fact, the anus and rectum are merely passageways for poop. As Tristan Taormino puts it, the rectum is not a storage facility. If you maintain a healthy diet, with plenty of fiber and water, your bowel movements will be regular and complete, and there will be little, if any, solid matter left at the business end of your guts most of the time. Bear in mind that anal sex and anal play of most kinds involve only (only?) the lower eight inches (I might be generous on the upper limit here) of your thirty-plus feet of intestinal plumbing, and keeping the relevant plumbing in good working order isn’t particularly difficult. All that’s needed for a butt to be play-clean is a little rinse with water and the use of a baby wipe or warm, soapy wash-cloth on the external sphincter. A freshly washed anus is just as clean as a patch of skin a few inches away on a butt cheek you wouldn’t hesitate to kiss. Like they teach in med school: there’s nothing that can’t be washed off. So relax, already.

Now, does this mean that there is no chance of a random encounter with some small quantity of fecal matter despite your best efforts? If you want to explore anal play and anal sex, you must get over your fear of shit. The most common bacterium it contains- E.Coli- can be hazardous to your health in the wrong place in the wrong amount, but some wouldn’t rate its toxicity anywhere near that of say, botulinum, which many pay to get injected into their foreheads. (Ever heard of Botox, anyone?)

Stereotype #2: Anal Sex is Unnatural
I’m never sure exactly what the word means in this context, since many higher mammals engage in anal sex, and humans have been doing it, literally, since before we began standing upright. How common a behavior must become to be considered ”natural” is difficult to quantify. I suppose that if you believe sex is mainly or only for procreation, then butt play or butt sex might be considered ”against nature” (though nature’s intent in making it so common and enjoyable would thus be a bit mysterious), but if you view sex primarily as a means of reproduction, I’m a little curious as to why you’re reading this blog in the first place.

Stereotype #3: Anal Sex is Immoral
At the risk of trespassing on the turf of those whose job it is to parse such imponderables, I believe that no consensual, mutually pleasurable activity should be forbidden between lovers. Labeling anal pleasure ”unnatural” is generally an attempt by social and religious institutions to keep you from trying it for yourself. I think you’re capable of making your own decision here, don’t you? This is your anus we’re talking about.

Stereotype #4: Homophobia
The notion that all receptive anal sex among men is proof positive of gay orientation is a myth of awesome power and reach. The social oppression surrounding it is so brutal that the vast majority of men of all orientations are denied this locus of pleasure altogether.

As any gay man can attest, liking butt play doesn’t make a man gay. Sexual orientation is a matter of partner preference, not behavior. If you, as a man, prefer to have sex with women, regardless of the specific activities involved, you are not gay, so there. However, if you are open to anal stimulation, you are an uninhibited sensualist and damn lucky. Unlike your insecure pals at the gym, you have access to additional sources of mind-blowing orgasms. Just remember that if you see a woman when you look back over your shoulder while it’s happening, you’re no less straight than you would have been had you entertained the fantasy and never acted on it.

Stereotype #5: Butt is ”exit only”
Anatomically speaking, colons are simply tubes, and tubes go both ways. When anal sex is practiced sensibly and safely, there is no anatomical factor that makes it inherently more difficult, dangerous or destructive to the human body than other forms of sex. The common fear that anal penetration will eventually lead to a permanent loosening of the sphincter (incontinence), hemorrhoids, or other irreversible damage has much more to do with what goes on in people’s heads than in regions farther south. Spincter muscles are naturally equipped to dilate and contract repeatedly and will continue to do so normally regardless of direction, if treated with reasonable care and consideration. Indeed, regular anal play both relaxes and strengthens internal muscle tissue and contributes to healthy bowel function.

__________________
Women can have a particularly hard time with the notion of anal sex because some think they’re supposed to be clean, delicate, dainty creatures made out of sugar and spice and everything nice, and our physiologies tend to be inconveniently messy as it is. Moreover, early anal experimentations are often initiated by men, who may not know much about the subject either; often with unpleasant results. One bad poke can put a woman off anal sex for years. (Or so I’ve heard). But it remains true that, in order to enjoy butt play, a woman has to jettison her notions of ”Propriety” and ”Ladylike” behavior, as there is little that is more primal than butt sex.

But saying no, with or without a valid reason, is always an option on your sexual menu. Don’t do it to please anyone. Don’t do it if you don’t want to. Don’t do it if it hurts. Butts can’t lie, so don’t do it to ”prove” anything to anyone, including yourself.

In an upcoming post: Is anal sex really No Pain All Gain? Answers to questions you would only dare ask online.

On another note:

Tracey Emin: major art exhibition in London at one of the UK’s top galleries:”Seduced,” at the Barbican Gallery, is billed as the most sexually explicit fine-art exhibition ever staged. It attempts to show 2,500 years of sexuality in world art, and to explore how attitudes about what is erotic art and what is pornography have changed through the ages.

Back to Basics: Touch Me

You might be getting earth-shaking sex but some of us aren’t.

So you know that stage when you’re watching TV next to someone, but all you can think of is trying to guess what color is their underwear/ or if they’re even wearing any? Nope we’re not in grade 5. So I meant: You know when you pretend you’re watching TV next to someone, but all you can think of is how you’d like them to make you stand up from that lame couch, pin you to the wall and do you with half your clothes still on? Do you fantasize of how long the foreplay would last? I know I don’t. All it takes is some confident efficient touching.

Much of what I need to know about touching I first learned from my cat. Why a cat? Cats are beautiful, sensuous, and hedonistic, but what makes them so instructive is their utter lack of guilt. A cat won’t tolerate any form of displeasure in order to be ‘polite’. When I was younger, I wondered why I had trouble keeping a cat in my lap. Eventually I understood that my uncertainty was transmitted to the animal through my hands. It could tell if I was tuned into its wavelength or not and responded accordingly. Slow, deep massage elicited relaxation while petting; respectful and attentive touching and scratching would make the cat go belly up and purr. This is where I learned to put aside my ego when it came to giving pleasure to others. The cat didn’t care what I thought; it only knew what it felt. I had to learn to make my actions accurately reflect my intentions. That meant slowing down and letting go of goals and just enjoying the sensual pleasure of fur and purr on my lap.

Reflect your intentions
Human bodies are not fragile, and while a clumsy or rough touch can be downright repellent, a nervous or tentative touch sends a message of doubt and insecurity, which is equally off-putting. When you touch yourself during masturbation, you don’t worry about whether you’re doing it right or wrong; your body provides its own guidance. You do what comes naturally, and naturally you come. It is that same sense of easy and raw familiarity that you want your touch to convey to your partner.

I’m not your mom
You know when they say there are butt people and boob people? Well boob people: starting by touching and kissing/sucking breasts hesitantly is taking the road of no return that leads to… nowhere=the title of this paragraph. But I have yet to find a butt person that went wrong with their first touch. My personal fave: grab a butt cheek, slide your fingers to the place where the ass and leg meet, close in toward the anus, spread your fingers over a nice handful of flesh, and squeeze as you pull the cheek open. This teasingly stretches in a delicious manner. Then undress and do. Who needs massage/oral sex/toys anyway?

(that’s just a towel by the way!)

Craigslist Agrees to Curb Sex Ads

SAN FRANCISCO — The online classifieds company Craigslist said Thursday that it had reached an agreement with 40 state attorneys general and agreed to tame its notoriously unruly “erotic services” listings.

Prostitutes and sex-oriented businesses have long used that section of Craigslist to advertise their services.

Early this year, the attorney general of Connecticut, Richard Blumenthal, representing 40 states, sent a letter to Craigslist demanding that it purge the site of such material and better enforce its own rules against illegal activity, including prostitution. The two sides began a series of conversations about what Craigslist could do to prevent such ads.

“They identified ads that were crossing the line,” said Jim Buckmaster, chief executive of Craigslist. “We looked at those ads, we saw their point, and we resolved to see what we could do to get that stuff off the site.”

In March, Craigslist began asking its erotic services advertisers to provide a phone number, which an automated system calls. The system reads a series of digits, which the advertiser types into a Web page as verification before the ad will appear on the site. Craigslist said that ended most of the illicit material.

Under the broader agreement announced Thursday, Craigslist is going further, asking that advertisers provide valid identification. It said that it will charge erotic services vendors a small fee for each ad — $5 to $10, Mr. Buckmaster said — and require that they use a credit card for the payment. This, theoretically, will let the company confirm users’ identities. It will donate the money to charities, including those that combat child exploitation and human trafficking.

On Wednesday, Craigslist also sued a variety of companies offering services designed to circumvent its protections.

Mr. Blumenthal said the new measures would discourage many sex operators from using Craigslist. “The mere act of authentication will be a very significant deterrent,” he said. “There are very few prostitutes who want to be called by Craigslist and asked to give additional identifying information.”

By BRAD STONE

link to article

237 reasons to do it now

Scholars in antiquity began counting the ways that humans have sex, but they weren’t so diligent in cataloging the reasons humans wanted to get into all those positions. Darwin and his successors offered a few explanations of mating strategies — to find better genes, to gain status and resources — but they neglected to produce a Kama Sutra of sexual motivations.

Perhaps you didn’t lament this omission. Perhaps you thought that the motivations for sex were pretty obvious. Or maybe you never really wanted to know what was going on inside other people’s minds, in which case you should stop reading immediately.

For now, thanks to psychologists at the University of Texas at Austin, we can at last count the whys. After asking nearly 2,000 people why they’d had sex, the researchers have assembled and categorized a total of 237 reasons — everything from “I wanted to feel closer to God” to “I was drunk.” They even found a few people who claimed to have been motivated by the desire to have a child.

Who knew, for instance, that a headache had any erotic significance except as an excuse for saying no? But some respondents of both sexes explained that they’d had sex “to get rid of a headache.” It’s No. 173 on the list.

Others said they did it to “help me fall asleep,” “make my partner feel powerful,” “burn calories,” “return a favor,” “keep warm,” “hurt an enemy” or “change the topic of conversation.” The lamest may have been, “It seemed like good exercise,” although there is also this: “Someone dared me.”

Researchers Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss collected the data by first asking more than 400 people to list their reasons for having sex, and then asking more than 1,500 others to rate how important each reason was to them.

The  top 10 for each gender were also almost all the same, including “I wanted to express my love for the person,” “I was sexually aroused and wanted the release” and “It’s fun.”

The results contradicted a stereotype about women: their supposed tendency to use sex to gain status or resources. “Our findings suggest that men do these things more than women,” Dr. Buss said, alluding to the respondents who said they’d had sex to get things, like a promotion, a raise or a favor.

But then, men were also more likely than women to say they’d had sex because “I was slumming.” Or simply because “the opportunity presented itself,” or “the person demanded that I have sex.”

If nothing else, the results seem to be a robust confirmation of the hypothesis in the old joke: How can a woman get a man to take off his clothes? Ask him.

To make sense of the 237 reasons, Dr. Buss and Dr. Meston created a taxonomy with four general categories:
Physical: “The person had beautiful eyes” or “a desirable body,” or “was good kisser” or “too physically attractive to resist.” Or “I wanted to achieve an orgasm.”
Goal Attainment: “I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner” or “break up a rival’s relationship” or “make money” or “be popular.” Or “because of a bet.”
Emotional: “I wanted to communicate at a deeper level” or “lift my partner’s spirits” or “say ‘Thank you.’ ” Or just because “the person was intelligent.”
Insecurity: “I felt like it was my duty” or “I wanted to boost my self-esteem” or “It was the only way my partner would spend time with me.”

Both sexes seem to practice a strategy that he calls mate-guarding, as illustrated in one of the reasons given by survey respondents: “I was afraid my partner would have an affair if I didn’t.”

Nowhere among the 237 reasons will you find the one attributed to the actress Joan Crawford: “I need sex for a clear complexion.” (The closest is “I thought it would make me feel healthy.”)Nor will you find anything about gathering rosebuds while ye may (the 17th-century exhortation to young virgins from Robert Herrick). Nor the similar hurry-before-we-die rationale (“The grave’s a fine and private place/ But none I think do there embrace”) from Andrew Marvell in “To His Coy Mistress.”

From even a cursory survey of literature or the modern mass market in sex fantasies, it seems clear that this new taxonomy may not be any more complete than the original periodic table of the elements.

Medical Emergency: When Even Masturbation Goes Wrong

My friend was telling me that whenever he masturbates, he sometimes gets a headache at the back of his head, and his neck and shoulders hurt and he feels sick. After asking him why he still masturbates, and laughing at my own question, I looked it up and found this:

It sounds like he has an unfortunate case of coital cephalalgia — also known as effort migraine, or sexual headache. Extremely severe and sharp pain behind the eyes is also a symptom. The headaches usually have an immediate onset, with some gradually worsening during intercourse and others (referred to as “explosive headaches“) occurring almost instantaneously at the moment of orgasm. These headaches typically last for a few minutes to a few hours, although it is possible for such headaches to last up to a few days. It is most common for men to experience these headaches for the first time in their early 20s, or between the ages of 35-44; the reason for this is unclear.

More prevalent in men, by a ratio of 3:1, these headaches appear in roughly 1% of the population, though I would think the prevalence to be higher, due to the embarrassment of presenting with the disorder, especially in cases where spontaneous remission occurs after a few days. Up to 10% of patients taking medication for erectile dysfunction may experience these headaches. It’s important to see a doctor if you have such symptoms in order to rule out a potential brain aneurysm, or tumors. In most cases, these headaches are benign. More serious symptoms include a stiff neck, confusion, and dizziness.

As for treatment, the doctor may recommend abstaining from sexual activities and masturbation for a short period of time ranging from a few days to a few weeks. In addition, medications such as propanolol can be taken in advance of sexual activity to prevent such headaches. Losing weight to a more ideal level and increased exercise may also reduce the likelihood of recurrences.

So whatever the state of your sex life, you can take comfort that at least you don’t have this.

Isabella Does Bug Porn

by Will Doig

In a series of green shorts for SundanceChannel.com, Isabella Rossellini enthusiastically performs sex acts as an earthworm, a spider, a bee, and other invertebrates.

Isabella Rossellini is the type of woman who can do virtually anything and remain beloved. For Lancome, she used her enviable lips and cheekbones to sell makeup for fourteen years. For auteur filmmaker David Lynch, she participated in sex scenes that shocked and traumatized American audiences. And this year, she created a series of two-minute indie films about sex in the insect world for Robert Redford’s Sundance Channel. In the films, she dresses as various bugs and graphically describes their mating habits and genitalia. Did she alienate viewers? The network just confirmed that they’ve ordered a second season of the series, this time involving sea creatures. So, apparently, no.

The series, titled Green Porno, is completely original and strangely hypnotic. Rossellini enthusiastically acts out various sex acts while costumed as an earthworm, a spider, a bee, and other invertebrates. Her goal is to both amuse and raise awareness of the animal kingdom’s beautiful diversity. She spoke to the Daily Beast about the project, and why the second installment might be even weirder.

Were you the type of child who collected insects and brought them back to your bedroom?

I’ve always been fascinated not only with insects but with animals in general ever since I was a little girl. I did have boxes of snails, aquariums with ants and flies and all that. That’s where I had all the information to write Green Porno.

From your childhood?

No just from throughout my life, I read a lot of books about animals, I take courses at university on biology or zoology, it’s always been an interest of mine.

Did you emerge from this project with a favorite insect sex act?

I don’t really have one. I’m not interested specifically in bug sex. I’m just interested in animals. What’s interesting to me is the infinite variety. One of the frustrations I have when I read these books is, sometimes they tell you about an animal that does something incredible, then they give you the name of the species and I am not clear what animal that is because it’s a latin name, or it’s a specific species of a subspecies, so I get lost. Or it’s a very exotic animal in Africa or Asia, a special bug I’ve never seen in my life. So I wanted to do very common animals [in Green Porno]. And I wanted it to be funny. My desired reaction to people watching Green Porno was to first laugh, and then to say, oh I didn’t know that about a fly, I didn’t know that about a snail.

Yeah, who knew that earthworms are hermaphrodites who have sex by 69’ing? Do you think it makes human sex seem a little boring?

I feel a little bit embarrassed. When I presented the film, a lot of people wanted to analyze my sex life or my sex pleasure, and to tell you the truth I think it’s a very genuine interest in biology, it’s not a twisted or unusual kinky way of me being interested in sex. I just thought that sex is an interesting subject because everybody’s interested in sex, that it would make a comical film, but to say to you, “Yes, my life sexually has been very strange,” I can’t say, first of all because I’m embarrassed to answer it, and also because I don’t think it is.

I didn’t mean your sex life personally, I just meant humans in general.

Listen, I took advantage of the fact that there’s a certain fixation in people about sex, and that’s why I called it Green Porno. I was very aware that the name was provocative, and there’s a lot of people coming to our site who think it’s porno, and then they get a nice little film. There’s a titillating interest in sex, and I took advantage of that in making a film about how the animals have sex instead of a film about how they take care of their babies. If we made a film called Different Ways To Be Mamas, we wouldn’t get the same hits.

Who made the costumes and which costume was the most difficult to wear?

I draw the costumes, and everything had to be more or less be made with paper, partially because of budget and partially because it is something that everybody can do in their kitchen. It looks like a little homemade theater. I didn’t want it to look like all those special effects and spectacular – I wanted to preserve the homemade feeling, so paper seemed to be a good way. I draw them and I do think of some of the executions, but the people who execute the costumes are two friends of mine. One is Andy Byers and the other is Rick Gilbert. They add a tremendous amount of detail. The most difficult one [to wear] was the worm. I was caught in the different rings and I couldn’t move and I was 35 feet long and I was trapped there all day – without drinking, without being able to scratch my face.

During your research, did you discover any insect mating habits that repulsed you?

Um…no, all of it is fascinating. I mean, some animals are a little more squirmishing than others, but not in terms of sex – sometimes they look funny. I’m now doing a whole new series on marine animals — you know, barnacles, shrimps, squids, starfish, anchovies — and they all have different ways. Some fish even change sex. Males become females and females become males and it becomes even more interesting.

Of the sea creatures, can you give me an example of one of the sex acts that you found the most fascinating?

Starfish. They have two ways of reproducing. One, they can have sex regularly – male exchanging sperm with the female. Or, they can clone themselves.

Really?

Yeah. That, I thought was pretty wonderful. Another one that I loved is that not all shrimps, but a species of shrimp, is born male, then becomes female when it becomes older. Sometimes we also wonder, “What would it be like to be a man?” And a man wonders, “What would it be like to be a woman?” Shrimps don’t have that question. They are both sexes in different moments of their lives.

These films were made specifically to be watchable on a mobile device. Do people want to watch stuff like this while in transit?

We don’t know yet. We do know that more and more people are abandoning magazines, abandoning televison, and they’re getting their information on the web, on the mobile. It seems like mobiles are going to become more and more like iPhones—better screens, much better viewing. The only problem is, to Robert Redford, it seems absurd that you see on mobile a lot of films that were conceived for the big screen—like to see Apocalypse Now on the mobile would not do it justice. Robert Redford was thinking, what if we create an art form that is conceived for the mobile. That’s why Green Porno is very vivid in color, and we decided to do them in a studio because we tried to do them outside but once you have a background it gets all muddy.

You’ve performed in unconventional sex scenes before, in your roles in Blue Velvet and Cousins. Do you seek out these types of roles or is it coincidence?

I think it is coincidence. December 9, I’m doing a reading at the Metropolitan and I cannot believe that the reading that the Metropolitan is asking me to do is about erotic poems of the Renaissance. I’m delighted to do it, but sometimes I think, what is this?

Kamasutra: Nine Types of Blows

Positions apart, the Kamasutra also recommends the innovative use of the penis during the act of making love; nine types of blows may be struck with the penis, but of these only the most natural- the gentle forward stroke- or Upasripta that is instinctive to even the most untutored man will result in clitoral stimulation.

The other eight are:

Manthana or Churning: Grasping the penis and moving it in circles inside the yoni (vagina)

Hula or Double-edged Knife: The penis is thrust sharply into the yoni.

Avarmardana or Rubbing: when the lady’s hips are raised by a pillow, and the man strikes a rising blow

Piditika or Pressing: if with breathlessness, the penis is pressed deep inside the womb

Piritak: hitting of groin with the genital organ. leads to tremendous excitement in both partners.

Nirghata or Buffet: withdrawing completely, if the womb is struck violently by the penis

Varahaghata or Boar’s Blow: the penis is continuously pressed on one side of the vagina

Vrishaghata or the Bull’s Blow: if the man thrusts wildly in every direction, like a bull tossing its horns

But hey, no need for men, we can do it on our own.

Good Girls Go Bad, for a Day

In her thigh-highs and ruby miniskirt, Little Red Riding Hood does not appear to be en route to her grandmother’s house. And Goldilocks, in a snug bodice and platform heels, gives the impression she has been sleeping in everyone’s bed. There is a witch wearing little more than a Laker Girl uniform, a fairy who appears to shop at Victoria’s Secret and a cowgirl with a skirt the size of a tea towel. They’re not just risking their dignity here. They’re risking frostbite.

It is a wonder gyms do not have “get in shape for Halloween” specials. However, many women see nothing wrong with making Halloween less about Snickers bars and SweeTarts and more about eye candy. Why have so many girls grown up to trade in Wonder Woman costumes for little more than Wonderbras? Many think that showing off their bodies is a mark of independence and security and confidence. But there’s a fine line between sexy and trashy.

Don’t get me wrong- I do look forward to Halloween every year. But I wish there were more sexy men’s costumes on the market. Is the lack of them but further evidence of the gender double standard? In clubs, most men just don’t even bother dressing up. They just sit and enjoy.

on another note, even if porn = halloween every day, here’s a suggestion for so-called  real halloween porn: http://www.dirtyhalloween.com/

How Obama and Palin redefined political sex appeal.

by Tina Brown

There was a photograph in The Times Sunday that showed a rumpled David Axelrod slouched wearily in a chair wearing an old green sweater—with Barack Obama perched in the background, checking the display of his PDA. The room reeked of the pizza box weariness of a campaign in its last days—except for the candidate. For the millionth time the picture served to show how mesmerizingly crisp Obama always looks.

I can’t say if those hand-pressed looking shirts are made of the finest Egyptian cotton or not—maybe they’re from Costco—but the point is they suggest it. The simplicity of Obama’s lean, monochrome suits and solid blue ties makes every other pol appear porky and plebeian, old school glad-handers in oversize watches. It’s not just the clothes, of course. It’s the wearer—his carriage, the loping grace of his walk to the stage.

It’s also that the way he’s put together works simultaneously south of the Mason-Dixon line and south of 14th Street. When Obama works a rope line to most people he just looks neatly dressed. But to others he looks as stylishly minimalist as one of those Meatpacking District boutiques where a few shirts are piled artfully on otherwise empty shelves. It’s a little like the Republicans’ dog-whistle rhetoric, in which routine-sounding words like “worldview” and “wonder-working” convey a special, coded meaning to Christian conservatives. Obama’s look conveys the message of a new world order to the young.

It must be hell for John McCain and Bill Clinton, both alpha males who were always the sexiest guys in the room and have now been outpaced by this new kind of charisma. McCain was a heartthrob when he came back from Vietnam, with his hell-raiser smile and hair turned fetchingly white. One sentence of his backstory and the job was done: he had you at “my plane got shot down.” On the Straight Talk Express he was still an irresistible charmer. And Bill? Well, I’ve been in rooms when every woman he passed in the line was left with a deep burning blush of surprised conquest.

Hence the rage on both Clinton and McCain’s parts. McCain hates being deprived of his flyboy glamour as much as he hates being bested by a cool political novice who hasn’t paid his dues. He wasn’t looking old until Obama came on the scene. He was craggy, he was devil-may-care. He could still get the girls. As for Bill Clinton, Joe Klein’s biography was rightly titled The Natural. Bill always knew there was one phrase set aside for him in political retrospectives. The words “preternaturally gifted” belonged only to him. Until now. And that doesn’t even take in the galling fact that the younger man stole his wife’s exceptionalism. Obama’s glamour didn’t just eclipse Bill it made the first serious woman running for president look passé too.

What’s interesting is the androgynous quality of the Obama appeal. He’s almost like an avatar sent out dressed as himself to turn red states into blue. There are no “jumpers” at his rallies like the girls who jumped up and down at Kennedy rallies in the sixties. It’s significant that the Obama girl who lipsynched about “having a crush on Obama” in the YouTube clip during the primaries was immediately assumed to be a viral Internet plant. Obama is too contained to have the kind of sex appeal we are used to in public men whose drive to seduce sometimes becomes literal when it comes to the opposite sex.

Sarah Palin is now almost as large a celebrity as Obama but her appeal is as tactile as Obama’s is abstract, as Dionysian as his is Apollonian. She is genuinely gorgeous, with that thick, cascading soap opera hair, generous mouth, and beauty pageant legs. (If the Republicans really wanted Joe the Plumber’s vote, they should have blown some of that 150 grand at Victoria’s Secret.) The notion that after the campaign they’ll make her give the new wardrobe back, by the way, is palpably ridiculous. Don’t we want Sarah Palin to look hot?

Besides, no woman who has worn a $2,500 dollar silk Valentino jacket is ever going to return to wearing bargains from Out of the Closet, or desert the glossy standards of the new hairdresser who travels on the campaign plane for the Beehive in Wasilla. Palin may fish out a few old outfits for spin control to show she’s still real on the trail but she is more likely to trade in Todd than give up her new A-list look for long. She fought too hard for it. Her raw, striving quality is one of the qualities that makes her so compelling to watch. Are we now surprised that she’s campaigning for her future rather than the ticket?

She’s tasted the big time now. Go, Sarah! Obama versus Palin in 2012 sounds like a pretty incendiary reality show. The two stars from the same generation have redefined charisma and sex appeal for the multimedia age. Meanwhile, when the governor of Alaska returns to Anchorage after the election she is going to be about as content with her old life as Madame Bovary in Yonville. That’s the movie I really want to see.

“Several weeks of non-painful scrotal swelling in about a third of the subjects –was not enough to stop the study.”

Male Contraceptive?

Tyler Dunlap, a 27-year-old newlywed in San Francisco, is just one of the many American men eagerly awaiting the results of a large clinical trial in India.

The trial is studying a new male contraceptive, RISUG (Reversible Inhibition of Sperm Under Guidance): a reversible, nonhormonal contraceptive that provides 10 or more years of protection after a 10-15 minute procedure. Researchers received approval this week to begin enrolling additional study volunteers, after a delay of nearly four years.

“RISUG would be exciting because it would mean that, finally, I could take control of my own future, instead of leaving it to someone else,” says Dunlap. “Being in a committed long-term relationship means that I don’t want to rely on condoms for birth control. I’m not ready for a vasectomy, though. This new procedure could be the answer that gives men the decisive control we lack with current contraceptives.”

In the RISUG study, doctors inject a gel into the tube that sperm travel through after they are produced (known as the vas deferens). The gel then disables the sperm as they swim by. In study animals, male fertility returns if the RISUG is flushed out with another injection that dissolves the gel.

Elaine Lissner, director of the nonprofit Male Contraception Information Project in San Francisco, says she is not surprised that American men are watching the RISUG trial with keen interest. She emphasizes that the method has the potential to be the first truly affordable, reversible, long-term male contraceptive.

In 2002, when enrollment in the Indian study was halted, more than 140 men were already using RISUG. Concern about side effects and insufficiency of safety data caused a temporary suspension of the project. However, expert panels subsequently concluded that the major side effect — several weeks of non-painful scrotal swelling in about a third of the subjects –was not enough to stop the study.

Additional Safety Tests

Since 2002, researchers have conducted several additional laboratory safety tests on RISUG.

“When we first began using RISUG in volunteers more than 15 years ago, we didn’t have access to the more sophisticated toxicity tests available today,” says Dr. H. C. Das, one of the lead investigators. “Last year we sent RISUG to an FDA-registered laboratory in the United States for more tests, and the results came back clean. We’ve also done more studies at the Industrial Toxicology Research Centre in Lucknow, India with the latest equipment. We’re glad to be able to provide men this additional reassurance.”

Dr. R. S. Sharma, deputy director general of the Indian Council of Medical Research (ICMR), concurs that the safety results were “very satisfactory.” The ICMR is working to arrange study sites throughout India, beginning with Jaipur, Ludhiana, Udhampur, and India’s capital New Delhi. Three data monitoring committees will watch for any safety concerns.

Next Steps

But Lissner cautions that progress will be slow without sufficient political will. “A reversibility study in men is key,” she stresses. “And we’re hoping that the Indian government is committed enough to this research to get the next batch of RISUG made to the FDA’s latest Good Manufacturing Practice standards. If it is, the results will carry more weight internationally. Then men in other countries — such as the US — can hope for faster government approval.”

Currently, RISUG’s developers are arranging a collaboration with US researchers. Lissner says that to gain FDA approval, US researchers will have to begin with animal tests, so studies in North American men would not start for several years. Still, she notes that “We shouldn’t be discouraged. We already know that RISUG works, which is half the battle in drug development. Men in studies in India have been using it for more than a decade. Now we just have to finish our homework.”

RISUG’s chief developer, Prof. Sujoy Guha of the Indian Institute of Technology, says myths about men not being interested in contraception are just that: myths. “I get letters from men all over the world who beg to come to India and participate in this study at their own expense.”

source

Its never to early for Christmas/hanukka, …

Extra Nipples (please note these are on sale)

Oral Pleasure Chocolate

Of Biting: teachings of the Kamasutra

In my opinion, this is what separates men from boys.

Here’s some info from a translation of The Kamasutra of Vatsyayana that I brought back from India. Now this all sounds pretty technical, but imagine it as you read, as I do as I write. It’s genuine passion, taught at it’s best. There’s a reason why the teachings have been kept proudly for millenia.

The quality of good teeth are as follows: they should be equal, posessed of a pleasing brightness, capable of being coloured, of proper proportions, unbroken, and with sharp ends.

different kinds of biting:
– the hidden bite; is shown only by the excessive redness of the skin that is bitten
– the swollen bite; the skin is pressed down on both sides
– the point; a small portion of the skin is bitten with two teeth only
– the line of points; such small portions of the skin are bitten with all the teeth
– the ‘oral and jewel: ‘done by bringing together teeth (jewel) and lips (coral)
– the line of jewels; with all the teeth
– broken cloud ; unequal risings in a circle, and which comes from the space between the teeth. on the breasts
– biting of the boar; many broad rows of marks near to one another, and with red intervals. on the breasts and shoulders.

where?
Hidden bite, swollen point and the point are made on the lower lip. the swollen bite and the coral and the jewel bite are done on the cheek. line of points and line of jewels are to be impressed on the throat, the armpit and the joints of the thighs. the line of point alone is to be impressed on the forehead and the thighs.

Biting that has goal to increase passion should be done first, and that which is only for amusement or variety should be done afterwards.

Markings from biting or from nails illustrate an ornament of the forehead, an ear ornament, a bunch of flowers, a betel leaf or a tamala leaf, which are worn by the woman that is beloved, and are signs of the desire of enjoyment.

Now here’s my favorite verse, translated directly: ‘When a man bites a woman forcibly, she should angrily do the same to him with double force. Thus, a point should be returned with a line of points and a line of points should be returned with a broken cloud, and if she be excessively chafed, she should at once begin a love quarrel with him. at such a time she should take hold of her lover by the hair, and bend his head down, and kiss his lower lip, and then, being intoxicated with love, she should shut her eyes and bite him in various places. Even by day, and in place of public resort, when her lover shows her any mark that she may have inflicted on his body, she should smile at the sight of it, and turning her face as if she were going to chide him, she should show him with angry look the marks on her own body. Thus, if men and women act according to each other’s liking, their love for each other will not be lessened even in one hundred years.’

see, it’s more like a lifestyle

Sex addiction: not just for men

Anita Chaudhuri

Any time I met a guy who didn’t respond to me sexually, it would make me determined to have him,” confesses Valerie, 35, a human-resources manager in the City. “It became a challenge, a game, regardless of whether he was married or with someone. The lowest point came when I tried to seduce my best friend’s fiancé. I couldn’t bear the fact that, when they were together, he wouldn’t so much as look at me. It was an itch I had to scratch.”

“Sex addict” is the last phrase that would come to mind if you met the demure and sober-suited Valerie. Yet she is in 12-step recovery for that very issue. “Everyone used to tell me how lucky I was, as I could get any man I wanted. I’m quite a competitive person and it was important for me to know that, in my circle of girlfriends, I was viewed as the hottest.”

That sex and, by extension, love are highly addictive is no longer up for debate. Comparative brain scans of the love-struck and cocaine-addicted show almost identical areas of brain activity. And, for the first time, people are starting to talk about sex addiction. Russell Brand has owned up to having treatment and David Duchovny recently outed himself as a sufferer. Next month sees the release of a Hollywood film, Choke, devoted to the subject.

Experts say the number of sex addicts is rising — and, contrary to popular opinion, they are not all men. “In America, 30% of people coming in for treatment for sex addiction are female,” says Don Serratt, director of Life Works, which offers sex-addiction treatment in the UK. In this country, few women present themselves as sex addicts, but that doesn’t mean the problem is less prevalent. “They’ll come for help with alcoholism, drug addiction or depression and, in the course of treatment, the sex addiction, the root cause of the other addictions, will be uncovered,” Serratt says.

Valerie was unaware she had an addiction, even when her friend’s fiancé rejected her advances and threw a drink over her, telling her some unpleasant home truths for good measure. It was only as she got older and her friends started to settle down that she began to question her behaviour.

“I was embarrassed to find myself aged 35, with the longest relationship on my romantic CV lasting only three months,” she says. She went to counselling because she wanted to stop going for the wrong men. “That’s when I realised that I’d been living in a fantasy world. What I loved most about sex wasn’t the act itself. It was lying in bed together afterwards, talking into the small hours, feeling that sense of connection. I often convinced myself I was in love with these guys, but it would soon wear off.”

Susan Cheever, a self-confessed sex addict who has just written Desire: Where Sex Meets Addiction (Simon & Schuster), agrees that this blurring of the lines between the compulsions of love and sex is common among women. “If there is a difference between sex and love addiction, I don’t know what it is,” she says. “Sometimes people say they just fall in love too frequently. Are they saying they don’t want to have sex with those people? Love addict sounds nicer for sure.”

As Cheever recounts in the book, there were times when every man who crossed her path was fresh prey, from removal men to bookshop reps — taking in three husbands and her mother’s oncologist on the way. “Whenever there was a crisis,” she admits, “I found a man to take the edge off the feelings of helplessness and pain” — regardless of the upheaval she risked unleashing on her husbands and two children. “Adultery is the drink-driving of sex addiction,” she observes.

A bleaker story emerges, however. “My parents spent a great deal of time telling me that I was unattractive and would never find a husband. Perhaps proving my parents wrong was one of my motivations. If so, I didn’t realise it at the time. It’s tricky, because addiction to other people, specifically addiction to a sex partner, is the only one that is applauded and embraced by our culture, despite the fact that there is more collateral damage than with drugs or alcohol.”

It is a pattern Serratt is all too familiar with. “Female sex addicts crave intimacy, ” he says. “They’ll use sex and seduction to create that closeness with a guy — but, once they get it, they freak out and move on to the next one.”

Yet, although they crave intimacy, Serratt believes female sex addicts are subconsciously terrified by it. Because of their low self-esteem, they are scared of a man getting to know the “real” them. “Sex addicts will often say, ‘Oh, I can never meet the right man’, but that’s because as soon as a guy turns up who is everything they want, it scares them and they kill it. Once they’re in a relationship, they’ll begin to find fault and start saying ‘Oh, he’s lazy/he’s fat/he’s broke’, then dump him. Sex addicts also have poor discernment skills for choosing boyfriends. They tend to go for superficial qualities, because what they’re attracted to is a fantasy.”

Certainly for Justine, a 38-year-old mother of two, fantasy was the driving force behind a habit that nearly wrecked her life. She was married to a rich entrepreneur for 18 years, and her life appeared enviable, yet for two decades she had a string of affairs, taking crazy risks to spend time with her lovers.

More…

No more porn for Australia?

“Senator Conroy has since indicated that there would be a two-tier system: a mandatory one that would block all “illegal material” and an optional tier that would block material deemed unsuitable for children, such as pornography. ”

article..

(In)sensitivity of the Circumcised Penis

So what are you circumcised men really missing out on, sexually speaking? Sure, apart from bypassing a few Craigslist ads stating a preference for intact dick, I’ve never been aware of any discrimination. Heard complaints, and have complained, that intact partners were too quick to orgasm. So nothing, you’ll tell yourself… while you remember running you hands through the hair of someone giving you what had every appearance of being a splendid blowjob and yet being detached from the experience, for the simple reason that you didn’t feel it very much.

 

Some strongly opinionated minds consider it an anachronistic blood ritual, while others will politically correctly rephrase that there is no medical reason for doing it.

 

On the other side, surely you’ve heard about the high-profile studies associating male circumcision  with significantly lower HIV-infection rates in Africa, and older studies claiming a link with lower rates of specific STDs including syphilis.

 

But for those of us who practice safe sex anyway, let science do what it’s good at: answering precise questions, and raising some more. The study is titled “Fine-Touch Pressure Thresholds in the Adult Penis” published last April in the British Journal of Urology. Its conclusion may seem obvious to those of us with only a lay interest in the penis, but it’s controversial, nonetheless: uncut dick feels more. A lot more.

 

According to their unprecedented comparative sensory mapping of the penis, proffering 19 zones, missing from the circumcised male are 8 out of them. The study concludes that those areas have most of the sensory action. And in the other 11 areas, the study showed sensitivity deficit between 2 and 33%. Even if the doctors were to present this information, I’d venture that most parents taking the decision for their newborn son wouldn’t weigh this factor as much as others. It seems to me like the logical alternative- having the male choose for himself- is as reasonable as impractical/impossible an option- for all sorts of reasons.

 

So the thought occurs to me that you silent and ambivalent circumcised majority are detached and apathetic and ambivalent because you don’t know what you are missing.

 

I’m not taking sides on the morality of the question. But scientifically, and sexually speaking, it’s not like you’re cutting off plain old skin. The analogy would be more like removing your lips, since the lips are also way more sensitive than the skin around them. But let’s not try to picture that.

How to Go Green: Sex

[by Jacob Gordon]

Whether you’re single and playing the field, settled down with that special someone, or someplace in between, most of us consider good, satisfying, sexy sex an important part of this complete breakfast. It might not be the first thing we think of while working towards a sustainable and graceful life on this fragile planet, but there’s a lot we can do to make our sex lives greener. In the process of greening the ecological footprint of our love making, we might also open up some new doors to deeper pleasure, satisfaction, and romantic connection.

1. Employ green sex toys
According to the Durex Global Sex Survey, 43% of Americans have used a vibrator. Dildos, vibrators, anal beads, cock rings, and the rest of the happy sex toy family can be thrilling and fulfilling, either alone or with a partner, but many store-bought sex toys contain, among other things, chemicals called phthalates, a substance used to soften hard plastics like PVC and provide that jelly feeling. There is quite a bit of concern about the toxicity and health risks of phthalates (in 2004, the EU banned a range of phthalates from children’s toys), especially in sex toys that are used in warm, moist places. One suspicious warning sign is the disclaimer you’ll find on most sex toy packages stating that the device within is for “novelty purposes only.” TreeHugger suggests playing it safe. Look for toys made from glass, metal, silicone, hard plastics, or elastomers. Putting a condom over a suspicious dildo is also a good move. If your sex toy of choice is a power tool, buy a rechargeable one or use your own rechargeable batteries. Rechargeable vibrating toys include the Aphrodite Wand, the Acuvibe, the Lily and Iris from Lelo, and toys from Fun Factory. Check out TreeHugger TV’s How to Buy a Green Sex Toy for more.

2. Lube up
Whether you feel you need lube or not, a little extra slipperyness can add something extra to any roll in the hay. As you would with any other personal care product, go as natural as possible and try to avoid petroleum products, artificial scents, flavors, and colors. There are even organic lubes to be found. For more info on what to look out for, see How to Green Women’s Personal Care—advice also suitable for men).

3. Use condoms
For safer, baby-free sex, nothing beats a latex condom. Vegans looking for a latex option (though derived from trees, most latex has a milk enzyme added) can check out Glyde condoms. The jury is still out as to whether latex condoms are biodegradable and what effects additives and lubricants have on biodegradability. According to most sources, lambskin condoms are biodegradable but are only effective against pregnancy, not STDs. Polyurethane condoms are essentially plastic and not biodegradable. Used condoms are best sent to the landfill. Flushing condoms down the toilet is definitely no good as this clogs pipes, treatment plants, and rivers. So let’s face it, reduce, reuse, recycle just doesn’t apply when it comes to the rubbers.

4. Give (and receive) sexy gifts
Getting a stylish and useful gift is always a turn on. Organic massage oils, fair trade chocolate, or a bottle of biodynamic red wine are hot options. For Valentine’s, you can even get an all fair trade goodie bag for your lovie. Of course, romance and good sex know no price, and a poem from the heart, a massage, some hot role playing, or a home-cooked dinner for two can be the hottest gifts of all.

5. Have green, sexy fun
Sexy play can be green and efficient as well. As seen on TreeHugger TV, showering together can save water (if things get steamier, we suggest taking it to the bedroom and not leaving the shower running). In the winter time, some nice warm loving before bed can get the bedroom toasty, meaning the thermostat can be lower (see How to Green Your Heating, for more). A nice bike ride for two is a fossil-fuel-free way to get the blood flowing and can also be quite stimulating, especially for the ladies. And of course the classic candle-lit dinner is a delicious way to set the mood and save on energy bills.

6. Put some bamboo in bed
If you’ve never experience bamboo bed sheets, you’re missing out. Bamboo fabric is silky and slippery (but not so slippery you’ll slide out of bed), wicks moisture, has natural antimicrobial properties, comes from a rapidly renewable resource, and is super sexy.

7. Mention the unmentionables: eco-undies
Slinky, slippery, sexy. These are all good things when it comes to some sassy skivvies for the bedroom. Organic cotton, hemp silk, bamboo, and other renewable fibers make ultra-sexy lingerie and underwear. When browsing around, go for quality, not novelty. Buying a bedroom outfit that will be used only a couple times isn’t a great buy. Face it, unless you’re famous, nobody on Ebay is gonna buy those crotchless panties, even if you just wore them once. We suggest shelling out the extra bucks for something classy, sexy, and sustainable that can be donned when the mood is right for years to come. For something on the exotic end, check out Enamore and g=9.8. For sensible and simple, look at Buenostyle and American Apparel. For something in between, try GreenKnickers.

8. Taste sweeter juice?
There are some very strong rumors going around that vegetarians have the best tasting love juices (though some items from the vegetable kingdom you may want to avoid, like asparagus and garlic). If you aren’t already a veggie-lover and there’s a romantic occasion/hot date in your future, give the veggie or vegan diet a try. Even if it does nothing for your flavor, you may score points for being a good steward of the planet. The meat industry is immensely resource intensive and accounts for 70% of the water pollution in the US. Reducing your meat consumption is one of the greenest things you can do. Plus, many triathletes and other super-people swear by a vegan diet for prolonged endurance (always a good thing). For a very funny but totally explicit investigation of the food/body fluid connection, read Hank Hyena’s essay at Salon.com.

9. Turn on natural aphrodisiacs
Since days of yore, lovers have turned to natural herbs and special foods to find stimulation, endurance, and sexual health. While we can’t vouch for any of these, and all supplements should be taken with caution and/or professional advise, it is rumored that herbs like ginseng, kava kava root, damiana leaves, kelp, tribulus, ginko biloba, rhodiola rosea, and of course horny goat weed can help stoke the flames of passion—even more so if certified organic. A host of foods are also used to stimulate the sexual senses, and of course organic wine and Champaign are trusted aphrodisiacs as well.

10. Meet that special green lover
Nothing’s quite worse than meeting some really promising guy or girl and then realizing that he or she is an Escalade-driving, non-recycling, Earth messer-upper. What are you going to do? Try to reform them? Sleep with them anyway and try to ignore their unconscious ways? Forget it. Go for the green lover. Farmers markets, Critical Mass, your local Green Drinks, the Whole Foods checkout isle can be great places to meet people. A host of match-making sites (see the Further Reading section for direct links) can also be great venues for finding that special tree hugger to hug.

LEAP COCK

Artist Cees Krijnen has collaborated with with Freundenthal/Verhagen, Jason Wallis-Johnson and Oscar Süleyman to create this striking image which is both fantasy based and humorous. The work injects the penile imagery and literally sugar coats it in order for it to compliment its surroundings. This piece tackles the issues of virility and fantasy in a naive manner. by Andy G

When Markets Fall, So Do the Big Swinging Dicks

A blow-by-blow guide to the four stages of market-related sexual dysfunction.

Decades ago, during the era of takeover kings and junk bond traders—long before the tech boom, the hedge fund boom, and the private equity boom—Michael Lewis’s 1989 classic, Liar’s Poker, labeled Wall Street stars the “Big Swinging Dicks.” The common if optimistic assumption has always been that these guys perform aggressively in the bedroom, too. Remember Dennis Kozlowski’s babe-shaped birthday cake, with sparklers for breasts?

Whenever times are good, few people stop to wonder whether the converse might also be true: BSDs—or Masters of the Universe, or whatever they are calling themselves now—get less virile when the market crashes.

Most of the information on this topic is anecdotal, if consistent: bad economic times pretty much guarantee bad sex. But with every crash the debate on recession sex reemerges. Earlier this week, Bonnie Fuller sent out a well-circulated questionnaire asking her contacts about their post-crash sex lives. Gawker has laid out a theory on the 5 types of recession sex, as told through craigslist. And numerous bloggers are espousing their own theories.

Now, it’s our turn to weigh in. The Daily Beast’s news shrink, clinical psychologist Stephen Josephson, says sexual performance and the stock market are often closely related. He recently saw a man who ran a trading desk and complained of “inconsistent erectile difficulties.” He was, says Josephson, “a handsome big guy, sleeping with hotties.” Further investigation revealed that the client couldn’t separate his work from his play. “I had him chart how much money he made each day to his sexual performance,” Josephson says. “When the market went up, so did he.” In fact, the stages of market related sexual dysfunction (Let’s call it MRSD) can be tracked, just like the market itself.

Stage 1: Volatility.

You might think that people under a lot of pressure might have a lot of sex, and you would be right. Initially. Pressure is an aphrodisiac, as long as it doesn’t continue for too long. People had sex in bomb shelters during WW II for instance, and there was that baby boom after 9-11. But during the Great Depression birth rates fell.

As Dr. Pepper Schwartz, Seattle-based author of Prime: Advice and Adventures on Sex, Love and the Sensuous Years explains, in the face of imminent death, people go at it thinking, “This may be the last time we make love.” But, she notes, that’s different from the slow-motion worry of “not being able to make your minimum payment or being foreclosed upon.”

Stage 2: Decline.

Sexual desire and anxiety are inversely proportional. The wife of one Wall Street player, who wishes to remain anonymous, told me that her husband rose at 5 a.m. to check on trading in Japan, only to find that it was National Fitness Day, and the market was closed. That didn’t help.

And as the bank account shrinks, the second-guessing begins, accompanied by intensifying cycles of doubt, fear and self-loathing. Significant others get snippy, asking why the 401-K wasn’t diversified and all the private school tuition money went to a personal trainer. One investment banker joked darkly that this market crash “is worse than a divorce: I lost half my wealth but I’m still married to my wife.”

Infidelity can increase during this period—strip clubs, prostitutes, one-night stands, anyone who isn’t a critical or anxious spouse. Elaine Calaway, a Houston psychologist who works with the well-heeled explains: “When finances are pinched, wealthy men feel super vulnerable with a wife or partner. Having a side-treat props them up, feeds that need to feel powerful and virile.”

Alas, the mistresses who are attracted to moneyed men aren’t very interested in hanging around once the money disappears, and the ones who do are put on short rations, one wife of a Texas oilman says. In turn, they are cutting back, too: way fewer triple process blondes, no more hair extensions, and they’ve put their Hermes bags on eBay.

Stage 3: Depression.

This is the period when, as Houston psychologist Andrew Gol explains, “Sex goes out the window.” Too many negative thoughts are death for the libido. Viagra, which needs the trigger of desire to send blood flow to the sexual organs, isn’t much help, if any. Heavy drinking, which might have lead to more illicit sex in earlier stages of financial distress, doesn’t help either, when things get really tough. “It makes it worse,” the sex deprived wife of one trader told me.

Stage 4: Rally.

In this phase, people will come to understand that money won’t make them happier, and they learn to enjoy life’s simpler pleasures. “America’s Sex Therapist” Ian Kerner showed that flag recently on MSNBC: “As we struggle to save our dollars, we allow the currency of our communication to become devalued by stress, anxiety and fear. It’s not just the state of the union we need to be worrying about, but also the state of our unions. So why not go home tonight and have some good old-fashioned sex?”

No word yet on what kind of bailout will be required to put that plan into effect.
by Mimi Swartz

On Silent Pleasures

I bet that unconsciously, most of you judge your sexual performance by the moans that your partner makes.

 

I have a new tip for you. Actually I could write a Cosmo article out of it, it would be titled something lame like: How To Get As Many As You Want, When You Want. But since Cosmo cultivates the art of reducing women to horny lightheads and doesn’t do a good job at encouraging you to be a totally selfish bitch, I’ll post this on the blog.

 

It’s called the Silent Orgasm. Here’s a story. Once a girl was having a just-ok orgasm, and the girl caught herself moaning as if it was a more-than-ok orgasm. The partner then made a cocky grin, fell asleep and pulled out, I don’t remember in which order but it was all approximately simultaneous. Now, the girl never had to fake, but this falls pretty short.

 

Silent Orgasm… it’s pretty self-explanatory. Unless you have sex for your partner, you don’t want to vocalize like a pornstar, no matter how positively reinforcing it can get. Most of them don’t feel pleasure anyway. For the first few times, pull  and hold his head to you and focus on kissing when you feel your orgasm coming, all throughout. You’ve probably conditioned yourself to praise/ moan/ sigh heavily, so occupying your mouth will keep you from that.  It’s innate and sinfully selfish. He’ll eagerly continue trying to get his magic going, while you bite your lower lip, your arms push heavily on the matress. And he’ll go on some more while you’re mentally grinning. They’re all about performance. And we are too.

 

Don’t get addicted though, it’s hard to go back to being considerate to the partner’s feelings/ego. Ultimately, the goal is to unlearn whatever habit you unconsciously internalized by ever seeing sex on TV/internet.

 

Or listen to each other’s breathing/panting, as much as that tip belongs in Cosmo.

Being Altruistic May Make You Attractive

ScienceDaily (Oct. 15, 2008) — Displays of altruism or selflessness towards others can be sexually attractive in a mate. This is one of the findings of a study carried out by biologists and a psychologist at The University of Nottingham.

In three studies of more than 1,000 people, Dr Tim Phillips and his fellow researchers discovered that women place significantly greater importance on altruistic traits than anything else. Their findings have been published in the British Journal of Psychology.

Dr Phillips said: “Evolutionary theory predicts competition between individuals and yet we see many examples in nature of individuals disadvantaging themselves to help others. In humans, particularly, we see individuals prepared to put themselves at considerable risk to help individuals they do not know for no obvious reward.”

Participants in the studies were questioned about a range of qualities they look for in a mate, including examples of altruistic behaviour such as ‘donates blood regularly’ and ‘volunteered to help out in a local hospital’. Women placed significantly greater importance on altruistic traits in all three studies.

Yet both sexes may consider altruistic traits when choosing a partner. One hundred and seventy couples were asked to rate how much they preferred altruistic traits in a mate and report their own level of altruistic behaviour. The strength of preference in one partner was found to correlate with the extent of altruistic behaviour typically displayed in the other, suggesting that altruistic traits may well be a factor both men and women take into account when choosing a partner.

Dr Phillips said: “For many years the standard explanation for altruistic behaviour towards non-relatives has been based on reciprocity and reputation — a version of ‘you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours’. I believe we need to look elsewhere to understand the roots of human altruism. The expansion of the human brain would have greatly increased the cost of raising children so it would have been important for our ancestors to choose mates both willing and able to be good, long-term parents. Displays of altruism could well have provided accurate clues to this and genes linked to altruism would have been favoured as a result.”

Dr Phillips concluded: “Sexual selection could well come to be seen as exerting a major influence on what made humans human.”

Dr Tom Reader in the School of Biology said: “Sexual preferences have enormous potential to shape the evolution of animal behaviour. Humans are clearly not an exception: sex may have a crucial role in explaining what are our most biologically interesting and unusual habits.”

Dry Orgasms; or the Art of Male Multiple Orgasms

From my previous Q & A Quickie Crash Course,

Q. A guy can have an orgasm without ejaculating. T or F?

A.  T.

 

Uh huh, without ejaculating/faking. How?

Dry orgasms can be caused by:
– Retrograde ejaculation; when semen is forced back into the bladder. Can be caused by diabetes, damage or injury to the prostate (prostatectomy or medication used to treat enlarged prostate.)
– Cystectomy (Surgical removal of the bladder)
-Radiation therapy directed at the pelvic area, such as for prostate cancer.
In those cases, infertility might be an issue.

Now, the explanation for the healthy is that orgasm and ejaculation are sometimes desynchronized. For example, conversely, ejaculatory anhedonia is when you ejaculate physically but do not have the accompanying feelings of release, pleasure, or orgasm. You could call it an “anorgasmic ejaculation”

Orgasms without ejaculating are you’re ultimate goal- no matter how satisfied you are with your average-male-single-average-orgasm.

Thus the process of learning multiple orgasms for men is through challenging beliefs about male orgasm.  I’ll allow myself to politically incorrectly generalize that men are simple (simple, not simplistic) in that they are happy with what they have, relationship/sex- wise whereas people bitch that women are “complicated”- that’s because we consider alternatives (including headaches) to finally get the best. That’s why I’m taking the time to write this sh.. The point is; explore other better options, and you know your chauvinistic ego, and your partner, will thank you for it.

First, the art of flexing the pubococcygeal (PC) muscle during sex, but before the PNR/Point of No Return/ejaculation. Requires practice- a common exercise of the wise is to practice stopping urination midstream. You can strengthen the muscle overtime with repeated tightening and releasing exercises.

Cheesier tips; – tune into your breathing, and masturbate slowly (although it might beat the purpose). Ultimately, the goal is to discover the Point of No Return, get more of them, and delay them more. You risk nothing by trying, at worse, 1)you’ll continue having early boring single ejaculation and 2) you’ll be thinking about sex everytime you urinate. Anyways, isn’t that already the case?

*CAUTION*: NOT a reliable form of birth control

 
coming soon: the silent orgasm

Make your own sex toys… hot or not?

Make Your Own Sex Toys: 50 Quick and Easy Do-It-Yourself Projects
and
Make Your Own Sex Toys

Now… im all about DIY but making your own sex toys?!

This book includes things like how to make your own leather leash, lotions and potions, and crochet collar. Granted bringing in some random foriegn objects in the mix might be interesting but CROCHET COLLARS?? I actually know a girl who would more than likely make this and probably do it openly while watching a hiphop show and its totally amazing… but personally I can’t imagine being on the bus and crocheting a collar for a future sexual adventure.

Personally I am not attracted to “cheap”. I don’t like my date being cheap and I don’t want my sex toys to be cheap either. Granted if i was stuck on an island with no shops perhaps my mind would change a little.

How would you introduce that into your sex life? Oh hey there boy.. “I made you a leather collar snuggle puff!” or perhaps “hey buttercup I made you a willy warmer”.

Probably of my favorite parts of finding this book is that Amazon sells it USED!!!!! for just a little over three dollars and they only have one left in stock of the new versions. Why in the world would you want someones used sex toy book? But I suppose if you are going to try and save money on sex toys you might as well save money on actually buying the book. You think the sell is just selling it to fund their sex toy purchases from actual sex toy sites?

Has anyone ever tried anything like this? Any experience stories? Anyone have their own DIY sex toy ideas?

Innappropriate Childrens Slide

Whats the slide actually suppose to be?

Swallow or Spit? Oral Sex and STDs, because you should already know

If you’re reading this, GOOD FOR YOU.

Herpes is probably the biggest STD risk during oral sex. Both strains of herpes can live in the mouth or the genitals, and particularly during outbreaks (cold sores, herpes lesions) can be passed from one place to the other.
Chlamydia and gonorrhea can infect your throat. You can also get serious eye infections.
HIV; less likely than during unprotected penetrative sex.  The infected semen/precum or vaginal fluid must enter the body through a cut or sore in the mouth or esophagus. Any open sores, cold sores, etc. can be a route by which the virus or bacteria can enter the bloodstream and infect. Males; for the insertive partner there is a theoretical risk of infection because infected blood from a partner’s bleeding gums or an open sore could come in contact with a scratch, cut, or sore on the penis.
HPV can be passed during oral sex, but it is rare. HPV has been found on vocal chords.
Syphilis can be passed similar to HIV.
Hepatitis A is a risk particularly in oral-anal sex. Get a Hep A vaccine.

Reducing Risks: Your goals: 1)limit exposure to sexual fluids 2)ensure that no cuts or lesions are present in mouth or on genitals.

Use the classic male condom, dental dams for oral-vaginal/oral-anal sex. Alternatively cut an unrolled condom to the tip and use it as a latex barrier. PS: spermicide KILLS taste buds.

so, Spit or swallow? Did you just not understand the whole article? That said, if you find yourself having unprotected oral sex, it’s the fluids that carry the STD, and you want to limit contact with any possible lesion. So the conventional wisdom (if you were wise enough to find yourself in this situation) is, “swallow or spit, just don’t let it sit.” 

The Grand Slam: Enjoy oral sex, get regular check-ups. A good check-up includes throat testing for gonorrhea, rectal testing for gonorrhea and chlamydia, urine testing for gonorrhea and chlamydia and blood tests for herpes, syphilis and HIV.

***

Finally, between you and I, I’ll admit that there are sexier things than giving oral sex to a condom. But it is my personal opinion that if I am to have casual sex, I’ll protect myself as if anyone I sleep with has an STD. And try unrolling a condom onto a penis with your mouth (somehow find a way to practice if you care what the owner thinks). It can be damn sexy, someone told me.

Sensual vs Sexual

Definitely find that subtly engaging pics are sexier than full frontal bare-it-alls. just like a slightly revealing top would be more enticing than a shameless decolleté. what do you think?

Banner for Euro08 Campaign against Trafficking in Women

Red Hot

You’ve heard/looked for the yellow showers, the fecal fantasies. Yet another bodily fluid stays with what belongs with the distorted, alongside fucking  horses and dying from it, pedophilia, and rape (although it’s a very common fantasy amongst women- more on that later) ; that-time-of-the-month, or what my friend affectionately calls Nintendo-week.

So you have the extreme fetishist who’ll look for women drinking blood from a dripping tampon over their mouth. They’ll marvel at overflowed maxipads, stained white panties, and everything that red sex is not.  

Here comes Freud    
So why obsess over such a gross thing as feminine hygiene products gone… unhygienic? Of what I remember of my psych classes, fetish objects serve the function of blocking some trauma by… distorting and amplifying. A single thing of the whole captures the attention of someone in immaturity and sticks with him as he grows- it could be high heels, white panties, unshaved armpits, rubber swim caps. I leave it to your imagination what could have triggered menstruation fetish, but I’d venture to say that Freud would mention the return to the Origins; a bloody vagina.     

In porn, the guys don’t seem to care about the mess, and the girls look more than comfortable. Oral sex is still done. But often, the blood comes from a tea bag inserted into the actress’ vagina. 

Why the taboo? 
Then, why don’t actresses do it when they’re actually having their period? Why hide… a quarter of a woman’s sex life? (for those unlucky for whom it lasts the said week).You’ll reckon that even feminine hygiene product advertising avoids mentioning menstruation by pouring a blue liquid on the sanitary item to demonstrate its absorptiveness.Many religions have traditions that might have contributed to the stigma. In orthodox Judasim and Islam, there’s a ban on sex during menstruation. Some traditional societies sequester females in “menstrual huts”. In Hinduism, a woman cannot be part of religious ceremonies for the first 4 days of the cycle. And I remember when I was in India, the woman who usually cooked for us was not allowed in the kitchen during her period… all she was allowed to do was the cleaning.The only non-X movies I’ve seen that mention menstruation is in My Girl, when Vada gets her first period, she only gets explained about it off camera. Or in Carrie… I remember her first period as the starting point of her telekinisis which led… to murder. No need to say that overcoming the menstrual taboo is hot debate amongst feminists.

 In Menstruation: Porn’s Last Taboo, Trixie Fontaine, camgirl, complains “i was determined that my porn site be honest about me, my sexuality, and my body- how could my site be genuine and real if I ignored and hid the fluid coursing through my cunt once a month?”

On her main page (bloodytrixie.com), you can read “Most porn shows us living our sexual lives as though our periods don’t exist sending the message that bleeding is not natural or sexy. I insist that it’s every woman’s right to be sexual . . . no matter HOW messy her pussy!!! Cyclical bleeding can be beautiful, sensual, freeing, fascinating and fun. I hope you enjoy my unique red gift to you! –Trixie”

Ok fine, there’s looking for period porn, and there’s just doing it. I mean, our hormones don’t just disappear during that time. I guess it’s even more of a reflex to type golden showers or poop show on youporn then to marvel at the monthly shedding of the endometrium and how messy it can get if you want it to be. I’d risk the hypothesis that the only experience that men have with blood is pain and injuries, and that’s why they’re so turned off. But as Trixie would say, isn’t menstruation the ‘sexiest’ of bodily excretions? It does come out directly of the vagina. Although it’s possible that guys might relate more with urine.

Period sex can be good and clean, or messy if you want it to be. Trixie: “I wanted to display my period as fresh, free-flowing, messy puddle of fun, not just something to be stifled and absorbed by a piece of garbage”.

I’ll admit that I’ve never had a sexual fondness for my period. I’ve cursed at it plenty of times. Although it’s kinda reassuring when it comes. I remember being so thin that I wouldn’t even get my period, and I remember missing it- I didn’t feel as much of a woman. While the blood doesn’t bring any comfort and carries some odor, and I can’t say I want to fingerpaint in it,  I definitely find it more natural than, let’s say, the ever-popular stuff that camgirls have to do…extreme penetration shows, bukkake, fucking themselves with beer cans and baseball bats. That stuff you wouldn’t find gross before trying it, so… try this, tell me what you think.

by Vanessa Tiegs. Collected her menstrual blood throughout 36 periods in a moon cup

Women on the Pill Choose Wrong Sex Partners

The criteria that identifies a right sex partner, according to biology, (obviously I don’t have my say in this), is that he/she has the most different genetic makeup.

Quickie on genetics: 
Having two genetically different parents increases the chance for healthy offspring: for each gene, a zygote (formed when a spermatozoid reaches the ovula) receives a copy from his mom, and one from his dad. If both copies carry the same mutation (homozygotes) recessive diseases will express. So the parents might have been only carriers, but the baby will be affected by the disease. Whereas if the mom is a carrier but the dad isn’t, the baby is a heterozygote: he ends up only being a carrier.

But birth control pill makes women desire the wrong men… according to a recent U.K study published in Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences. “If this really happens in the real world, women on the pill would end up choosing a more genetically similar mate than she would otherwise choose and the implications go on from there,” study researcher S. Craig Roberts, PhD

In an earlier U.S. study, women who were genetically similar to their partners reported being less satisfied in their sexual relationship with their partner — and were seeking more new sex partners — than were women with genetically dissimilar partners.

Animal studies show that female mammals can smell out males whose MHC genes are different from their own. MHC genes affect important immune responses. By mating with males who have different MHC genes, females give their offspring a better disease-fighting repertoire.Rachel Herz, PhD, author of The Scent of Desire and a faculty member at Brown University, says there is a real connection between body odor, MHC, and the mates a woman chooses. Hence the T-shirt-sniffing studies. Herz and her team paid 37 women to smell men’s T-shirts before and after going on the pill. Then they compared the women’s before- and after-pill ratings of the odors to the control group 60 women not on the pill. The result: After taking the pill, women shifted toward preferring genetically similar men. Women who did not take the pill slightly increased their preference for genetically different men.
    

Possible explanation?           
In animals, when females become pregnant, they start to prefer scent of males with similar genetics. This may allow them to seek out males that will help them protect and raise the baby. And since the Pill makes your body think it’s pregnant (with progesterone, which is secreted by the amniotic sac in pregnant women), it would have the same effect.    

what i have to add:
I went off the pill twice in the last 4 years. The first time, my (male) ex and I broke up and I ended up with a girl. As far as I know, my ex and I had the most dissimilar genetics you could find. The second time… after a whisky dick and a totally EDed partner… well I haven’t had sex in a month.

Then again, an important assumption in the study is that odours play a strong role in partner choice… more than performance? I ask. No, I answer. That’s why even off the Pill, I’m still attracted to those who made me want to start taking the Pill. What are your experiences? do you think odour is determinant to that point?

Finally, let’s just say that whatever the Pill does or doesn’t do to our tastes, without it, I couldn’t have had the luxury to marvel at all genetic variety, let alone sample it.

found this on a may 2007 post by blogger. On May 9, 1960 – the FDA (Food and Drug Administration, US)approved the first birth control pill.

 

Dangerous Dildos? the Phthalatophobia

Extract from erotica;

It had been a long day of a hundred different (photo shoot) poses and we were tired. “Let’s get that double dong and do an ass-to-ass shot” said the photographer right before his assistant handed me a red two-headed rubber dildo fresh out of its package, with that shiny film on it that many jelly toys have. As the head slipped inside, my ass suddenly felt like it was on fire. A burning sensation spread throughout my butt, and when I looked up at Chloe, who was waiting for her end, she said, “I know that look.”

The culprit: phthalates (ph is silent), a family of chemicals used to soften hard plastics to make them more flexible, used in toys for children, animals, and for sexual pleasure. Turns out that what makes them enjoyable also makes them toxic. PVC is not a stable inert compound, so these toys continuously leach phthalates- causing a greasy, shiny and bad-smelling film, and genital burning, itching- like the burning sensation up monologuer’s butt. Plus, these toys are porous, unlike silicone, glass or metal, so they cannot be completely disinfected. Phthalate molecules are not chemically bound to the plastics they soften, and as such, phthalates can “break free” from plastic fairly easily, causing rubber and jelly toys to deteriorate over time. Not exactly suited for your body’s most sensitive, absorbent areas.

Phtalates are also… everywhere: in cosmetics, perfume, body lotion, deodorant, nail polish, carpeting, flooring tile, plastic raincoats, and medical devices. In studies on rodents, high levels of phthalates have been linked to reproductive organ damage, liver, lung and kidney damage and liver cancer. Also linked; premature breast development in girls (some studies suggest that phthalates mimic estrogen), low sperm count or motility in men, and damage to developing testes. Also, it appears that a high level in a pregnant woman’s blood is linked with a smaller anogenital index=distance between anus and genitals, in male newborns. Although, I can’t see how that could be problematic.

In 1998, Canada took children’s rattles, teethers, and dog chew –toys made with phthalates off the shelves. Phthalates are widely banned in 14 countries around the globe, including several European countries, Japan, Argentina and Mexico. But Trevor Buttworth of STATS (Statistical Assessment Service) says “This is not a public health crisis”. He adds:  “To ingest phthalates from an adult toy, one would have to – and there’s no way of putting this delicately – masticate on a toy for several hours a day on a daily basis; even then, there is no evidence that this would be toxic to your health. Such behavior would, however, suggest that you have other, more significant, problems.”

It is true that mice and rats on these studies are exposed to enormous amounts of phthalates. It is debatable to what extent we can draw conclusions from animal testing, but that’s how science got this far.

Since testing on humans would be unethical in this case, I would rather not take chances. There hasn’t been any research on whether phthalates can permeate latex condoms when used on sex toys. A Greenpeace statement: “Remember, these are chemicals which do not easily biodegrade and can be dangerous – even in small amounts.”

Sex toys are not regulated by any agency- companies are not required to list a toy’s components. So incorrect labelling from “hypoallergenic dildo” to “silicone toys” is often misleading. In those instances, the government should have business in the bedrooms of the nation.  As a general rule, the more that a toy smells like a new shower curtain, the more phthalates it contains. So what’s a tree-hugging dildo-loving girl to do? 

Have no fear. A new generation of companies dedicated to research and development, like Tantus, are selling top-quality eco-friendly products. Aaand they’re dishwasher safe! Prices usually start around 50 well-spent dollars. For these proactive manufacturers, quality prevails over making a fast buck. So that without someone you trust/pretend to trust, you can still have your fast fuck with something you can trust. I’m not hyping environmentally friendly sex toys, or anything eco-friendly for that matter; go ride your Hummer in your fur coat, leather boots and aerosol-sprayed hair while leaving the lights on, I’m not here to judge. I’m advocating for schedule-free, ED-free  safe bedroom activity. And you can say you’re doing it for the seals.

Q & A Quickie Crash Course

Q.Can you really tell how big a guy is by the size of his hands or feet?

A. No

 

Q. Should I be worried that my partner’s penis curves to one side when erect?

A. some congenital curvature is normal (although puzzling, I personally find) However, if it hurts him, he may have Peyronie’s disease known colloquially as “bent nail syndrome” and should consult a doctor. The underlying cause of is thought to be trauma or injury to the penis usually through sexual activity

 

Q. Can you pass a yeast infection to your partner?

A. Yes

 

Q. Can you pass on/get infected with an STD as a result of kissing?
A. No, you cannot pass on or become infected with an STD as a result of kissing. However, you could pass on a cold sore (herpes simplex, HSV1) to your partner through kissing.

 

Q. What can worsen vaginal dryness?

A. decongestants, anti-histamines (like Claritin, Reactin), low estrogen level.

 

Q. Are condoms still effective underwater?

A. companies do not test their products underwater, so there’s no assurance they’ll hold up.

 

Q. What if he doesn’t like the taste down there?

A. foods like garlic and asparagus might make you slightly more pungent. Fruits like pineapple may sweeten you up.

 

Q. Is there such a thing as blue balls?

A. prolonged frustrated erections can cause discomfort in the testicles and perineum… but not pain.

 

Q. Should a guy take Viagra if he doesn’t need to?

A. the long-term effects are not fully known, but psychological dependence is a more than  possible outcome.

 

Q. A guy can have an orgasm without ejaculating. T or F?

A.  T.

Airplane Passengers Can Now Choose Between Pat-Down and Body Scanners

In US airports including Washington, Dallas, Las Vegas, Albuquerque, Miami and Detroit, body scanners are being installed. Instead of being patted down as is custom, travellers selected randomly can choose to be shut in the glass booths while a 3D image is made of their body beneath their clothes. In Europe, Amsterdam’s Schipol airport is already using the scanners. They allow the security screeners to examine the images in a separate room. According to the Transport Safety Authority of the States, “millimetre waves” that go through cloth will detect and show metal, plastics, ceramics, chemical materials and explosives. As well as the passenger’s full body details: such as evidence of mastectomies, colostomy appliances, penile implants, catheter tubes and the size of their breasts or genitals. “You can actually see the sweat on someone’s back,” said James Schear, the Transport Security Administration security director at Baltimore-Washington International Airport, where two body scanners are in use at one checkpoint.The passenger’s privacy is however protected since the image will only show their blurred face. Furthermore, the images are one-time use: they can neither be stored, transmitter nor printed. 

The TSA effort could encourage scanners’ use in rail stations, arenas and office buildings, the American Civil Liberties Union said. “This may well set a precedent that others will follow,” said Barry Steinhardt, head of the technology project.

The passenger can however refuse the use of the machine and submit to an old-fashioned pat-down. Early reactions amongst passenger include blunt refusal, intrigued, reassured and occasionally wary. Thirty machines should be installed across the US by the end of 2008. “Most passengers don’t think it’s any big deal,” Schear said. “They think it’s a piece of security they’re willing to do.”

Obviously, some rights activists are making a big deal out of this, saying that personal privacy is jeopardized. One more thing for them to complain about. Sometimes, you have to choose between safety and prudism-  like when you go to the doctor’s. I just wonder which the Republicans would pick. 

 

Ask not what your partner can do for you, but what YOU can do for your partner

Condoms Campaigns Over the World

The Great American Condom Campaign. Do it for your Country is one of their slogans.

 

In Berlin. You have to know that Berlin’s coat of arms is a bear.
(Bärchen=little bears. gummi=condoms. gummi, bårchen=condoms, Berliners)

American Beauty-esque add by Government of Brazil, targetting young gay men

created by the Commonwealth Department of Community Services and Health in Australia

 and my favorite,

 “No sexual act is more death-defying than sex without protection. Don’t put yourself in that position. — Pi Kappa Phi.” based on an ancient Central Indian painting first published in 1883 in the Kama Sutra of Vatsyavana

No Booty Calls

scrubs quote

Where did you learn about sex?

When I was in grade 3 or 4 I remember a friend of mine coming over and we were playing with Barbie’s. Ken and Barbie got all dressed up for their date just about to step into their pink convertable, when my friend stopped and told me all about the birds and the bees. I blushed and went back to playing with Barbie’s without letting on I was impressed with her adult like knowledge.

When/how did you learn about sex?

Relationship Boredom

Life is so short and love is so amazing but people still insists on staying in a loveless relationship.

Every once and a while I see couples who have been together for years and are not really sure why. Unable to explain why they are together.

I am well aware that some relationships go through that phase where you are almost bored but usually it’s more of a personal issue and not necessarily the relationship at fault. What I don’t understand is why people stay in relationships where the spark is just gone. I’ve seen so many relationships that fall into this state and its never a good situation.

One person in the relationship always end up flirting with others or confessing to others they have feelings. Sometimes they act on them other times they don’t. Why be in a situation that makes you unhappy? I think these people are scared and would rather risk being semi-happy in an “okay” relationship that take the dive and be single for a while and meet someone who is more suitable. Maybe there is a standard they don’t think they can meet so they settle with second best?

Maybe its because my longest relationship has been 2 years on and off that I am completely jaded that long relationships work. There are very few couples that I’ve met that make me think “wow after such a long time they still totally look in love”. My parents are probably the best example of this. After something like 35 years of marriage they are still completely head over heels in love. You think with such a good example in my life I would be more willing to accept that relationships don’t get old over time. Most couples I’ve met seem to be bored and have the same routine. Granted that is exactly what some people want in life, routine, comfort and security. I hope I never end up in this situation but I see how it can work for certain personality types.

Sometimes it works.. sometimes it doesn’t. I think a lot of relationships have to deal with a lot of insecurities with the parties involved. In a recent conversation a friend of mine described it best…

“ I often think that so often people don’t know how to deal with their own problems that they look to a relationship as a bank account for their own miserable bullshit” – quote from a friend who will only go by the name “Dr.Love”.

Which can only lead to problems and unhappiness and really who wants that? You need to deal with your issues and not bury them and get stuck in a relationship that just makes the situation worse.

Its my personal opinion that best thing for a successful and happy relationship to happen is that both parties of the relationship can be independent. Dependency is nice and its a really great part of being in a relationship but I think that independence is just as important and can help with “couple boredom syndrome”. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”- unknown. Both parties need to have lives aside from each other. It doesn’t have to be something huge that it makes it hard to schedule alone time and its best if its not work related. It allows for some mystery in the life of your significant other and actually something to talk about aside from the weather and the same old “how was your day” conversations. It seems like such a trivial solution but really I don’t think enough couples of my generation take time to be independent. Serial daters are more and more common because no one takes time to be independent so when they jump from relationship to relationship it turns into the only thing they have.

Was your sex health program at school good?

Personally mine were AWFUL.

The first time I ever had a class in sexual health was in junior high. Our industry tech teacher taught the class. The back of our class room even had another class working and cutting wood building race cars, all While we are at the front of the class learning how to put a condom on a banana.

Later on in high school I had another course and our principal was suppose to teach the course but he was to shy to teach it. Therefor we had a substitute teacher every class and nothing continued from the class before. He would ask us to write questions one day and nothing every got answered the next class.

During my 12 year school career those are the only class’s I had on sexual education.

What was your sexual health program like?

Sthenolagnia: Muscle Fetishism

Is a fetish defined as ‘sexual arousal from demonstration of strength or muscles’. The term was coined by the German psychologist Magnus Hirschfeld in the late 1800s. It is found among both males and females, and there are a significant number of websites who cater to their interests. A related fetish is cratolagnia, which is sexual arousal from display of strength

Female muscle growth (FMG) is a fantasy genre involving muscular growth of a woman. Many who enjoy these fantasies are attracted to Female bodybuilding or other muscular women. This interest frequently centers on the biceps. FMG is related to the growth fantasies giantess and breast expansion fetishism. This fantasy is sometimes about an equalization or reversal of the stereotypical power relationship (that some people imagine/take for granted) in a heterosexual couple.

Literature, art

In texts and movies, the plot device that enables the transformation is magical, scientific, extraterrestrial, or even hypnosis. Some FMG fantasy participants will imagine themselves as participating in the transformations, while others prefer to fantasize as spectators. Marvel Comics She-Hulk is a popular representation of FMG fantasy.

http://www.femalemusclefactory.com/

If you are turned on by this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2lV12PDHr8&NR=1, then you should check out some blogs: http://www.brawna.org. Popular titles include: Muscle Impossible, Patty Becomes a Female Sumo Wrestler, and Revenge of the Soccer Mom.

Talk Nerdy to Me….. the sequel

It is inevitable that relationships are going to evolve in modern time. I always assumed that this would mean the chasing game would get a bit easier or, guys and girls would start to understand each other but no. We’ve just evolved to hiding behind a computer screen. The Internet is here and its here to stay.

I feel like our generation lost our personal connection with people. We are constantly texting, messaging and chatting as major forms of communication. This leads to a whole world wind of problems for relationships. What ever happened to the Internet just being “the Internet”. Now days… if you don’t change your status or check your messages every couple of hours an argument can brew and it doesn’t stop there. Ever try and talk about something serious in a text message? Its impossible to get your point across yet we still converse this way even though we know the person, we still find comfort in hiding behind that screen no matter how small it is.

The Internet can be a great place to meet people, or a cold and faceless way to get rid of them. With these networking tools people allow them selves to take risks with people they normally wouldn’t or people in different area codes. It creates a comfort zone which allows you to talk to someone you would normally think is out of your league. I’ve met, hooked up and dated people I never would of originally thought I had a chance with all thanks to this modern world we live in. For the most part online talking is a good prequel to spending face to face time. Most first meetings are incredibly awkward but the Internet allows you to move beyond that to some what of a friendship before tripping over your own feet in person.

What goes up must come down and even though relationships have evolved so has the modern break up. I feel that the best way to break up with someone is in person but online can also be fairly useful in communicating without getting angry and letting emotions get in the way of getting your point across. This is only effective after the official in person break up has happened. Actually breaking up online… really lets face it… its the cowards way out. The worst part about these break ups is if this person is part of any of these online communities. Its almost like dating someone you work with and then its over. You have to see this person everyday and hear about them from co-workers. The Internet makes you feel the same. News feeds of what that person is up to or seeing their face in random pictures with, now, mutual friends. The one saving grace that real life doesn’t and the world of technology is the ever so amazing “delete key”. In a matter of seconds you can delete them from your life and start to move on.

Moving on has never been easier. These days we literally have the whole world at our finger tips. Filling in that missing void is as easy as just flirting online with the right person. Companionship is incredibly easy to find in a virtual world, you can pay for it with a cam or dating site, pretend you have it with a little porn or actually find a real person if your lurking skills are up to par.

If this is the modern relationship timeline… what the future holds?

2008 AVN Award Winners

Best all-girl release :

Title : Girlvana

Company: Zero Tolerance Entertainment

Best anal sex scene

Title: Big Wet Asses 10

Company: Elegant Angel Production

Best animated:

Title: Night Shift Nurses, Experiment 1 & 2

Company: Adult Source Media

Best classic DVD

Title: Debby Does Dallas; Definitive Collector’s Edition

Company: VCX

Best Ethnic-themed Release:

Title: Anabolic Asians 5

Company: Anabolic Video

Best Music:

Title: Afrodite Superstar

Company: Femme Chocolat/ Adam and Eve pictures

Best Sex Comedy:

Title: Operation: Desert Stormy

Company: Wicked Pictures

Hook Ups Mix Tape

sexandtheuniversity.muxtape.com

Lovers and exlovers are some of the greatest muses for music writers. This is my mix dedicated to new and old lovers. Songs inspired by love

Hook Ups Mix Tape

Wintersleep – Listen [Listen, Listen]

“I will love you till the day my heart dies”

“There’s something in the way our lips touch,
there’s something in the way we’re stuck together
and they don’t build love like that no more.”

www.wintersleep.com

The Velvet Underground – I’m Sticking With You
“Im sticking with you
cos Im made out of glue
Anything that you might do
Im gonna do too”

You might recognize this song from the juno soundtrack.

More info on The velvet underground

Wilco – Reservations

“Oh I’ve got reservations
about so many things
but not about you”

www.wilcoworld.net

Ben Folds – The Luckiest

“I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you”
“And in a white sea of eyes,I see one pair that I recognize,And I know,That I am,I am,I am,The luckiest”

www.benfolds.com

The Faders – No Sleep Tonight
“I got you, i got you on my mind,And it’s time to make you see (what i want),So i’ll just make this a little more obvious,Cuz i get what i want, and i want you to get with me!”

More info on The Faders

The Ergs – Kind of Like Smitten
A personal favorite song of mine. I only dream of a boy writing a song like this for me. The lyrics are adorable.

“Last night when you said, I was your favorite person in the whole wide world,I almost lost myself, You said, “You don’t even know”,And it was so amazing, God, I’m so in love with you”

The ergs myspace

Food for Lovers

Eating right is a goal in itself. But if you need another reason to eat healthy:

Fats and oils contain Vitamin E: studies on rats and mice showed that a diet without vitamin E would lead to impotence in males and miscarriages in females. When the levels are restored, the symptoms are reversed. Choose healthy fats (olive oil in salad dressing, fish), not deep fried chicken and chips.

Grapes/wine contain resveratrol: mice on a resveratrol diet can solve mazes (you know what I mean…!) better than those who drank strong alcohol instead. Resveratrol in wine also alters the structure of beta-amyloid, which is the compound that deposits in the brain in high levels in Alzheimer’s disease, so that it accumulates to a lesser level.

Fruits and vegetables contain anti-oxidants: less fat deposition in the blood vessels. Bad circulation, lumpy erection.

Chocolate, of course. Contains phenylethylamine: this compound is related to falling in love. Also found in peanuts. Moreover, chocolate increases the amount of Nitric Oxyde, which induces vasodilatation and thus triggers erection: the same principle as Viagra, which was originally developed as a muscle relaxant. But you would have to eat a fat load of chocolate! You might also want to know that chocolate and marijuana share some chemistry: the chemical anandamide in chocolate fits the same receptor as the active ingredient in pot. Cassanova used to eat chocolate before… well, anytime of the day.

No Meat: was believed to be sexually inflammatory by Dr. John Harvey Kellogg (the Frosted Flakes guy). This is a very general affirmation, however, you should know that Dr Kellogg introduced sports as a way of being healthy and offered light therapy against depression (which is a proven clinical method). He believed that meat would rob the body of energy necessary for health.

No carbs: Some Italian women say that ‘if you want your man to perform, don’t feed him pasta’. Or rice, potatoes, bread, etc. While the common belief is that carbs give you fast energy (which they do), the fact is that sugars release tryptophan, which enhances the brain’s ability to absorb serotonin, which relaxes you. And your penis.

Every aspect counts… looking forward to your tales of success.

Deal breakers

according to urban dictionary a deal breaker is
” A deal breaker is ‘the catch’ that a particular individual cannot overlook and ultimately outweighs any redeeming quality the individual may possess. ”

some of my deal breakers are..

-Height. guys must be taller than me by at least a foot.
-Shoes. i hate bad shoes
-Living with their mom/parents
-Bad taste in music

What are some of yours?

Male Enhancement Procedures Part III

For Do-it-yourself type of guys… I found this thing on the Internet. You can judge by yourself of its worth.

Warm-up exercise:
– Obtain a small hand towel, wet this hand towel using warm/hot water.
– Place the hand towel around your penis.
– Wet the towel again to keep the warmth. Leave the hand towel on the penis for 2-3 minutes.
– Temporarily discard of the towel and perform workout (below)
– When workout is finished re-heat the towel.
– Apply the towel to the penis for another 2-3 minutes.
– Always use the same towel for hygiene reasons. (What hygiene reasons, I don’t know…)

Doing this exercise for the first time, it may be a little strange and slightly painful in the onset of application but will disappear in a few seconds. This warm-up exercise is IMPORTANT and should be done before and after the main exercise that will be given below.

The Long Shlong Basic: The Stretching Exercise
– Grasp the tip of your penis firmly, below the head.
– Pull it out in front of you and hold for 15 seconds.
– Repeat for the desired number of reps.
– Relax and gently massage head of penis.
– Stretch penis to right and hold for 15 seconds.
– Relax and massage head of penis.
– Stretch penis to left and hold for 15 seconds.
– Always repeat for desired number of reps.

A few reminders for this exercise:
If you have a foreskin, you should pull it back before pulling your penis. Remember that it is the penis that we want to stretch not the skin. After completing this exercise once, repeat the steps only this time, pulling your penis to the left instead of pulling it to the right when stretching. You should have a detailed workout plan or get a custom workout plan so you can organize your activities well. Feeling a good amount of stretch on your penis after this exercise is normal and healthy so there is nothing to worry and it’s a sign of penile enhancement. This should be done accordingly without exaggeration, as it could lead to penile damage. Though this is a natural method, we are not liable for any danger that may occur if you don’t follow the procedures carefully. Responsibility should be carried out at all times during this exercise.

I don’t know…personally, I don’t pretend I’m making my vagina grow bigger when I masturbate.

Talk Nerdy to Me?

Many people have written books on dating and romance. How to meet someone at a bar, How to romance the pants off of a significant other and many many others.

Recently I discovered a book on Amazon called “I Can’t Believe I’m Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating ”. The best part about amazon is that you can buy them used for $5. I almost can’t remember what dating was like before the Internet. How would you get to know someone? Talk to them in person?…HA! Our world has evolved from giving out your phone number to giving your MSN contact and adding them to Facebook with an ever so ironic and clever “poke”.

The magical world of the Internet has opened a Pandora’s box in the dating world. It can be the worst thing for relationships and hearts or it can be one of the greatest tools in the history of flirting.

The e-world is filled with all kinds of Internet relationships. From single serving sessions of love to people getting married over IRC (believe it or not but that couple is now celebrating their 12th wedding anniversary). We are a world filled with all kinds of lonely people. Some more than others, but granted we are all looking for some sort of connection… romantic or not. Hiding behind a screen allows a safe and secure place to be yourself or who ever you want to be. Craigslist personal connections or word of war craft are two great examples. They say the Internet was originally created for the military… well I think that’s a lie. I think the Internet was created for all the awkward people of the world to unite. Eventually it evolved into not only a tool for the awkward and nerdy but a place for our entire generation to socialize virtually.

With a tool that allows people to interact in such an easy fashion comes huge problems. Dating websites, pay cam/internet porn, and online networking sites have developed into a billion dollar industry because we’re constantly searching for a greater connection.

Facebook, Msn and Myspace seem to be three of the most popular forms of communication for my age group. I’ve seen many relationships grow and some of them crumble using these tools. It all starts with some casual flirting and maybe a comment on a picture or something of the sort. It then eventually grows into messages everyday and comments on profiles. Their friends add you and eventually you start to spend more time in person together and going out on group outings. Before you know it a relationship has evolved. Then the greatest event of the modern relationship happens “The Status Change”. These days nothing is really official until its announced to the virtual world you are “now listed as in a relationship”. Every thing runs smoothly until there are other interesting people that get added to the friends list. More comments happen, more messages and before you know it the poison of the Internet sets in. It comes in the form of jealousy, uncertainty and curiosity. These new people are coming into your partners life the same way you did. Do you trust them?

Relationships are more and more easy to find online, whether it’s long distance, in your home town, or by the minute… anyone can feel like they are special to someone from the comfort of their own home. Is the temptation too much? Can the modern relationship survive modern technology?

Sue Johanson

Sue Johanson has been educating our vast nation about sex for over 30+ years in a very straight forward and direct manner. She is truely a great Canadian icon and will be missed by many in the wee hours of the morning. She has finally decided to end her tv career but will still continue to make public appearances. Watch her last episode will air on May 11th 2008. (tonight).

http://www.cbc.ca/mrl3/8752/news/features/graham-sex-sue-080509.wmv

http://www.cbc.ca/arts/tv/story/2008/05/07/talk-sex.html

Male Enhancement Procedures Part II

Pills
Contaminants found included mold, yeast, dangerous E. coli bacteria, pesticides, and lead. But then again, those contaminants are pretty much in everything that also does not make penises bigger. Remember, it’s not because a pill is labelled ‘natural’ that it means it’s safe. E. coli is natural.

Penis pump
A penis pump is a tube in which you put your penis, you then pump up a vacuum inside which makes blood flow into your penis. You then put on a penis ring so the blood will stay inside your penis. This will allow your erection to last while having sex.

Downsides: obviously not permanent, might get blisters on the penis (probably on your fingers too), damaged capillaries from overuse, temporary impotence. Oh yeah, and that’s not to make the penis bigger, it’s to make it actually stiff. It’s like Viagra, except it doesn’t work:

A study was published in the British Journal of Urology International in 2006: A group of men with small penises willing to use penis pumps three times a week, for twenty minutes each session, over a period of six months. A clinically tested vacuum erection device was used, not a sex shop product. At the end of the study there was an average increase of 0.3 centimeters, which is not statistically significant. But even though this average increase is minor, 30% said they were satisfied with the “treatment”.

Smart alternative
Trimming pubic hair will make the penis look bigger.

For overweight men, losing weight will have the same effect.

But it’s not just looks, it’s what’s on the inside that counts…

Right? or Right now?

I seem to know a lot of people who never seem to ever be single. They jump from relationship to relationship without any sort of leeway. Which makes me wonder… are they just settling for “mr./miss Right now?” Do they just not want to be alone so much that they stay with someone who is not really suited for the future? Are they aware of the situation?
What about you? Do you see a future with your partner?

This poll is 100% anonymous.
Do you Feel you are with Mr/Miss. Right? or Right Now?

Male Enhancement Procedures Part I

Surgical Interventions

Length enhancement : division of the penile suspensory ligament.
According to the European Urology Journal, vol. 49 issue 4: ‘’The mean increase was 1.3 cm, ranging from −1 to +3cm, with the addition of a silicone spacer placed between the pubis and penis giving a better outcome. The overall patient satisfaction rate was 35%’’ Their conclusion being that this ‘may increase penile length but usually not to a degree that satisfies the patient. Men often have unrealistic expectations regarding the outcome of surgical intervention and should be encouraged to seek psychological help primarily, with surgery reserved as the last resort’.

Girth enlargement: tissue culture:

Alloderm is an acellular dermal matrix derived from donated human skin tissue supplied by tissue banks under the standards of the American Association of Tissue Banks (AATB). It leaves no residual foreign tissue around the penis after reabsorption by the body. The USA Food and Drug Administration (FDA) regulates its use and has nor approved AlloDerm as a “void filler” nor for “cosmetic augmentation”.Obviously, it’s not an obstacle for cosmetic surgeons to use it.

Downsides: effectively irreversible, may have side effects including loss of sensation, scarring, deformation AND inability to perform penetrative intercourse. But I’m sure you can still pee.

Asexually confused?

We live in a world where there is such a flood of labels that have migrated to the bedroom. Metrosexual, asexual, bi-curious, bi, homosexual, heterosexual, promiscuous… hell I’ve even heard someone call themselves heteroflexible.

In the past year one of my dearest Montreal friends started to make jokes about how I was asexual. She did this because I had not been pursuing any guys in a long time. I just laughed and thought it was ridiculous. A month later I found out some more friends thought I was asexual. Which got me thinking – what is asexuality?

According to Wiki the definition of Asexuality is a sexual orientation describing individuals who do not experience sexual attraction.

I never really thought about asexuality until it was brought to my attention. What gives people the impression that someone is asexual? Granted I am not always searching for sex and currently single but does that make me a case study for asexuality? I am sexually attracted to many guys, however I don’t feel the need to act on it in every circumstance. Is this why people assume my sexual orientation ? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think asexual is a horrible thing. I really don’t care about other peoples sexuality. I just never considered myself classified as asexual until people started to mention it to me.

Wikipedia claims that “many asexuals do have sex” and “An asexual person may have a latent sexuality that will be awakened by a suitable romantic or sexual partner. This is commonly phrased as “not having met the right person””. When did someone looking for the right person who they are sexually attracted to have its own label? So what happens when they meet the right person? Are they no longer asexual?

We sleep around to much we are considered promiscuous…. we look for the right person to have sex with that really turns us on and we are considered asexual? What ever happen to the label of just being ‘single’. Why can’t we just enjoy our single lives with out people giving us labels trying to explain our behaviors for wanting a single life. I am convinced these terms are made up by people in normal sexual relationships where doing it from behind is ‘wild’ in their books. People who can’t understand how someone lives their lives with out the routine of a relationship.

Asexual or not I will just stick to my heterosexual single label. Its a good life. I am usually single because I want to be and enjoy the easiness of it all. I am a relationship masochist so being single is just a much more drama free pleasant lifestyle… This doesn’t mean the idea of a sexual partner is not always in the back of my mind.

Heading South – Blinding Lust in a Sexual Paradise Lost

If you’re looking for something exotic but not clichéed, read Dany Lafferrière’s Vers Le Sud. It takes a steamy look at the sex tourism industry in Haiti during Jean-Claude “Baby Doc” Duvalier’s oppressive regime in the late 1970s. But more than that, this politically pointed film contemplates the darker social undercurrents beneath a seemingly benign example of sexual tourism. Read it, and we can discuss if sex workers have agency, or are they the victims of a global sex industry? Is it wrong for a white middle-class woman to ‘come to paradise’ to fall in ‘love’ with a young sex worker, since she’s exchanging money, or is she still committing a crime and… pedophilia? The vision that the book offers is one of a passionate crime to commit over and over again. And it is way above consensual. The characters are complex, fully realized, and most of all, memorable.

Dany Lafferière also wrote Comment faire l’amour avec un Nègre sans se fatiguer (How to make love with a black man without getting physically tired)

Here’s an abstract of Heading South. Good porn enhanced by a good story.

Certains peuvent demeurer le même homme dans une église comme dans un bordel. Albert, par exemple. Some men can remain the same in the church as in a whore house. Albert, for example.

De toute façon, on ne peut pas empêcher un cœur d’aimer. Surtout un corps. Un corps, c’est pire encore qu’un cœur, Fanfan. Anyway, you cannot keep a heart from loving. Especially a body. A body is worst than a heart, Fanfan.

If you’re the type who watches the action but does not listen to the dialog during movies:

Il paraît qu’ils se sont battus toute la nuit. Il lui résistait. Elle était déchaînée. Cette jeune fille si délicate. Elle pleurait. Elle le griffait à la poitrine, elle le frappait au visage de toute sa force, elle l’insultait, elle mendiait une caresse, elle quémandait un baiser, elle le menaçait de hurler et de faire croire qu’il tentait de la violer, elle pleurait de toutes les larmes de son corps, elle le suppliait de la prendre. Lui, il n’était pas insensible à la luminosité de ce fragile corps blanc, si rare dans la case d’un nègre, mais il savait aussi que s’il cédait, c’était la mort qui l’attendait au lever du jour. Plus il résistait, plus son désir à elle devenait violent. Finalement, un peu avant l’aube, il entra en elle, et elle hurla tout en enfonçant son poing dans sa propre bouche. Il s’est endormi sur elle tout de suite après. Imaginez : un esclave et une jeune fille blanche.

Summer Camp part II

We were three counselors and a head counselor for the subgroup of nine mentally and physically challenged female campers from age 25 to 69. From a previous post, you’ll remember that the head counselor was also my summer love. Seeing her lately reminded me of everything that I learned during those weeks which made me the physical being I am today.

 

See, I didn’t just fall in love with L-. My sexual attention was devoted to her, and she knew it, but my heart was all over the place.

 

At the camp, you have three categories of subgroups: autonomous, semi, and multi. Multi campers require constant attention. There’s a ratio of one counselor to one camper. Our nine campers were semi: they weren’t able to express their needs, but once you got to know them, you learned to anticipate them. Along with the simple but magical activities that we invented for them (theatre, crafts, bals- we danced with them by pushing their wheel chairs) we also provided daily care. I lost a lot of weight and had back aches: several times a day, we performed transfers: for example, from the bed to the wheel chair: you have to bend over the person while she’s lying on her bed, put an arm under her back and the other arm under her knees, lift her and place her on her wheel chair, and the maneuver is different for each camper because most of them have different skeletal deformations, so you have to make sure you don’t hurt them. Other transfers were from wheel chair to toilet seat (many many times a day) and back, but the hardest were transfers to the bathing tub because they required us to bend even lower. Those transfers made me love my body for what it had the strength to do. These simple acts made me realize how much I love the human body. It’s so far from what you could think- that I was ever interested in seeing naked women in a position of vulnerability and total dependency. No, never, and you could only understand if you were there. It’s the bond that we created. It’s not because they are mentally challenged that they don’t realize that you are stepping inside their intimacy when you are changing their diapers or giving them baths. And they let you in. And you have to deserve it and prove yourself up to the task.

 

During those moments, I learned to adapt myself quickly like never before. My favorite camper was the eldest: she was 69. Every morning I would wake up earlier so I could pick the camper I would provide morning care for, and I always picked her. See, she probably didn’t remember my name or didn’t really understand the words I spoke to her, but we had the simplest and most pure friendship. Every time I bent over her, she would stick her tongue out and lick my nose and laugh hysterically like if she just caught me off guard. Anyone who would stick their tongue out in direction of my face would probably get a slap before they even got near. But with her, I always felt it coming, and the other counselors laughed every morning- it was our little thing. Campers are not booksmart, but their communication skills are unique. The one morning that she didn’t lick my nose, I knew something was wrong. I didn’t hear her laugh once that day, and it worried me. I brought her to the doctor on the site and she found nothing was wrong. I gave her extra attention for the rest of the day, I played in her hair, I danced with her, and when we went swimming, I was the one who held her. The next morning she licked my nose and I knew it was better.

 

The human body is capable of so many things, and communicating is the most precious. Every counselor could tell you this; your body is a tool you have to use to make campers feel better. What happened with the campers had nothing to do with sexuality, yet, it was tender and affectionate. They looked forward to bedtime when we would stroke their hair and talk to them. For no other people I would climb on stage and pretend I’m a lion while I’m pushing a wheelchair and pretending the camper who’s in it is a mosquito I’m chasing while singing camp songs.

 

The heart is a muscle; once you use it, it grows bigger, it hypertrophies. And when you get back to real life, even if you ignore it for a while, it’ll never shrink back to the size it was before. I carry these women everywhere with me. That’s probably why I’m still so attracted to L-, the head counselor. Because she reminds me of everything I am at my weakest and strongest. And even though I’m not an emo lover anymore, even though I’m sometimes cold and act like a heartless bitch looking for clients, she knows I care. She’s the only one who knows me and sometimes I hate her for it.

alternative to facebook

why do porn when you could do real life?

artsy, provocative, elegant, NUDE, celebrating diversity: http://www.beautyandsin.com/home.php

one of my favorite profiles: burmohini
http://www.beautyandsin.com/photo.php?id=538

sex, religion, advertising

freedom of expression allows provocation
FLIRT VODKA CAMPAIGN
http://www.peshtera.com/?lang_id=3&prm=products&cat_id=4

translated from Bulgarian:
‘She said she would need a longer time to choose’

 

‘Keep the Memories’
 

 

‘Are you ready for your angel?’

 

alcohol and religion…
The Bible says that Noah planted a vineyard after the flood. Then got drunk. Later on it says that Noah lived for 900 years.

 

Self-destruction part I

 

Step one : pick the one guy who won’t have you
Step two: wait
Step three: forever

Alternative

Step three/plan B: switch to girls and pretend you’re in a homosexual phase anyway.

 Step three/plan C: apologize for something you didn’t do… for that you have to have a heart, and offer it in a gift wrap, and be prepared to have it ripped open, torn in hard but mushy pieces that will never fit together again and will probably bleed all over the place and drown the sorrow you thought was already drowned in tears. That’s if you have a heart.

How plan B did not work:
So this girl I was in love with, like, way too long ago, sent me a horny email.

So I’m thinking: can’t have the penis, try other penises. When great penises don’t come with OK brains, spend time with friends (uh, which also happens whatever health of sex life), and also answer horny email.

Which I totally misinterpreted. Coucou, j’ai rêvé à toi hier soir was more like I’m in town and I want someone from the past to come play with my hair while we talk about the past and maybe drench the pillow with tears and other liquids of non-sexual nature. Geez, you’re already testosterone-challenged, work and make up for it. It’s not that I don’t love breasts and firm butts, because I do, but maybe mine are enough for now. I’d even choose pretty metrosexual boys over that. Seriously, the messed-up version of a female brain is not the reason I dropped in your hotel room wearing the little black dress and no bra or underwear. Girl, suicide will never be an option, stop making people consider it.

Ghosts from the past, no matter how hot they’ve gotten, and how many hours you spent masturbating to the thought of them/having sex with someone from the opposite sex to the thought of them, should stay in the past. 

I still felt this involuntary primal response that makes the heart race and palms moist. But I had to suffer the whole ‘I don’t recognize you. Why don’t we click anymore. You changed. And you’re not even attracted to me anymore’ gna gna gha gha brrr Oh did you say anything? So sorry, I was too busy waiting for you to undress. And after all that emo soup, she asked if I was in the mood. Anything but. Sex is like air; it’s not that important, unless you’re not getting any. I waited for her to freshen up, I kissed her and left. Which leaves me the option to come back later. With tape, earplugs and other goodies. Once she’s cooled down with her lesbian expectations.

      
Plan C… not happening. I do have a heart, it’s just that I like to think that my brains and vagina pump most of my poor anemic blood. Thus it leaves my heart, well, working full-time for useful organs.

daily confession

Speaking of desensitization (previous post); well, it does not happen. In a week, the long P and I have covered more than I ever have with previous partners. I don’t know what he’s going to teach me next.

So I don’t know/care to what level he thinks we’re close, because we’re not, but he started talking during sex. I guess it’s his way of keeping my attention in between orgasms. He’s good. If anyone can ask me to cum again, it’s him. And he did. Hot and confident, but not too much. But it made me start to laugh hysterically, with his face so close to mine. Like, I could not stop laughing. He pulled off and I sat upright to laugh. His ‘come again’ made me think of the old asian guy working at the convenience store close to my place. Tank you, come agayne?!  Try to explain that to a new lover. I skipped, and proceeded to come again, while I kept my face buried in the couch arm so I could continue laughing. He tried to ignore it and thrusted harder. Daaaamn, the guy is long and patient. I felt ridiculous so I gave him head a couple of minutes later, but I had to stop because I couldn’t stop hearing the voice in my head. Pleeease, come agayne?! I think my body won’t vascularize the brain and the v at the same time. Of course I went on. At least leave a good last impression… If I ever see him again, I’ll just smile from afar. if I ever hear from him again, it won’t be while doing it. Anyway, I think we’ve had enough for a whole month.

He must think I’m a very happy person. mouths should be kept too busy to talk/laugh when getting busy. I hope he doesn’t think I’m retarded. I know I would.

Emails.

The year has been way too heterosexual so far. I hit the jackpot of dramas and their penises. In sexual relationships, tensions don’t hit the heart: there is no such muscle. They hit right in the ego. But the damage is reversible. However, the problem can’t also be the remedy, no matter how good it tastes. You become desensitized. It’s time to look around.

 

A quick call, and my V met the world’s longest P. Note to self: building relationships while I don’t care about the size of their sexual attributes (friendship) can prove fruitful in time. No need to even compare. Longest and… thinnest. Can’t have everything. Like a pen, but more like a 2D very long pen. The thing hurt. Like when you’re too full. That’s what I thought, until my arms started to hurt too, not from the moves that were my shy answer to my new mister does-it-all, but actually the pain came from the three travel vaccines I had gotten previously that day: one in each arm, and one at the thigh. The fact that it did not hurt right away at the clinic should have hinted that it would creep up when most appropriate. Needless to say the band-aids that proved those darlings were a great pretext and proof that I needed to end belly-up…who needs two people on top anyway. Classical does not mean boring, and can be and was source of (multiple) enjoyment. Perhaps I should tip him.

 

To be honest, my mind was somewhere else. It’s a bad habit I’ve been developing this year. When even the longest P doesn’t compare with reading an email, that means the email was sinful.

 

I think the good lovers are those who can grasp what’s going on in your mind. And The Best Lover knew exactly where to hit: an email. Maybe it was the timing (a friend I really cared about just insulted me real bad and I was already starting to miss him), or maybe it was that it was a total surprise, but the simple ‘Coucou, j’ai rêvé à toi hier soir’ (Hey, I dreamed about you last night) turned me upside down. Must have been a nice dream.

 

She knows me enough to know that I thought about her all day the next day, and even though I had to concentrate on studying and thus needed food and caffeine, I couldn’t get anything in. Even my stomach was thinking about sex.

 

And I knew her, that sentence was not to be taken as corny cheezy à la Marvin Gaye. It was daring and proud, it was there and not to be ignored, a bit like her butt. It was more like Coucou, je te veux demain soir (Hey, I want you tomorrow night) or even Coucou, je t’aurai demain soir (Hey, tomorrow night, I’ll have you). Even after a year and a half of not seeing her, she’s the only one I would make place for on my planned to-do list during finals. (The long P has developped a habit of just popping in: the door is usually open. We don’t plan, we just do. We’ll get tired of each other soon. It’s like having prime steak every night; it’s tiring for the mouth and for other organs. No matter how you have it. That’s why we have vegans and chastity underwear).  Maybe I’m idealizing the only girl I’ve ever really been with, or maybe I’m just bored of penises and their owners, all I know is that she was delicious and I could not feel too full with that.

 

We were the two people on top type of pair. So I didn’t answer yet.  I have a Suis-moi je te fuis, Fuis-moi je te suis complex, which is only good for breakup sex. Shouldn’t be bad for one-time reunion sex either.

What is up with Tom Ford?

Truly a man’s man, Tom Ford is ex-Gucci now running his own design shindig. That isn’t half as impressive as appearing on the cover of Vanity Fair with Scarlett Johanssen and Keira Knightly (Well dressed, while the actresses were butt naked). If that weren’t enough, his website is perhaps the most impressive I have seen in a while. Although, I must admit it has seen better ad campaigns in past. I was wondering if anyone wanted to venture someone more impressive in the field of sexy? Chuck Norris must be excluded as he is obviously incontestable.

The Day Was Good

female objectifying and/or plain funny?

Meet Ceasar

Considering that the nicest automobiles in the world are also the most expensive, it doesn’t surprise me that the best personal pleasure machine ever produced is also one of the most expensive! I’ve not heard of too many complaints from the owners of a Rolls Royce and the same goes for the Caesar Machine. Some things are just worth the cost.
-Richard Rain Owner Roman Industries, Patent Holder of Caesar Machine

Women, rejoice. Meet Cesar, The Sex Machine. Available now, affordable. In one size: huge. It does not know dysfunction, does not need feeding, does not need to pee at the wrong moment.

Natural-looking huge penis at the end of a long metallic stick (not very esthetic, but serves the purpose). The stick can be fixed at the end of your bed. You have a remote control that allows you to pick the strength and the frequency of thrusts.

It’s not bitter Julie-who’s-been-getting-the-worse-sex-of-her-life-lately who’s speaking. Sounds like a bad porn movie? IT IS. (The machine is really on the market)

Title: Sex and the Machine
Director: Jenifer James
Productor: Richard Rain, 2007 (Patent holder of the Machine, remember?)
1hr45min

What you get:

– cheap leather costumes

– elevator music that makes you want to press the mute button as often as the fastforward one.

– sadomasochistic action. Oh and pleeeease, the savage-looking Tarzan look-alike character is way overdone.

– big fake boobs; If there is one moment that you get to be superficial, it’s when you watch porn. I don’t care if she’s blonde and has boobs twice the size of her head; if her face looks like a man’s and the boobs do not look like boobs, it is time to retire

What you do not get:

a soundtrack that is actually in sync with the action: Slurpy blowjob noises while the action is sadomasochistic whipping does not get anymore not-exciting.

Finally, it’s okay to talk to your dog, but NOT to your sex toy/machine, whatever you want to call this device. No matter how much you ‘don’t need men’. ‘You’re not okay, you’re perfect’ oh pleaaaaase. Electricity serves me great for some things, but for others… Women empowerment, 24/7 availability, performance, sure, but I cannot believe for a second that this thing could be satisfying. It would break my non-heart if I ever got to this point. If you want to promote sustainable energy, there are electric cars. I’m not ready to buy myself orgasms, and even if they were free… At least ShoppingChannel infomercials don’t have me screaming in horror. The movie does a poor job at selling the device, to say the least.

It’s a good thing I was in good company.

Sexy Controversy

LeBron James and Gisele Bundchen

Vogue Magazine, April ’08

photographer: Annie Liebovitz

The cover has been compared by bloggers and the media to King Kong
Racial and sexual stereotypes? You see what you want to see.

I see a strong, talented and multi-tasking man holding the happiest damsel in distress.

Sweet Fucking Dreams

I want to thank Marilyn Manson for being part of the rawest sex session of my life- the song, not the video.

My friend told me she cuts herself after sex.

And she’s been getting a lot lately.

I kept thinking about her when I was getting my own sexual healing late tonight. EmotionallyRetardedPartner did not notice. Unzip, come, zip. My phone lost his number.

Euphemism: I am worried about her. If only she could see herself the way I -and everyone- see her.

”I wish I had known as a teenager what I know today about my body; that whatever the shape or size, it’s perfect” (Felicity Huffman)

Summer Camp

People tend to think that bisexuality is more of a very open state of self-exploration than a permanent sexual orientation. It is “homosexuality lite”, “You’re either gay, straight or lying,” Type of comments that fit in a straightjacket.

Some experts, like Freud, concluded that humans are naturally bisexual. My opinion? You know what turns you on, men, women, horses- no need for a label, be it an identity or just a phase. “Bisexuality doubles your chances of getting a date for Saturday night” -Woody Allen. Whatever, I say Carpe diem.

I, for myself, love men. Actually I love penises. Men… I have yet to find some real ones. However, I find real beauty in women. On Alfred Kinsey’s scale of 0 (exclusively heterosexual) to 6(exclusively homosexual), I am not homosexual, I am not heterosexual. In Kinsey’s words, “The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats.” I am sexual, period. Sexuall. I guess that makes me a 3.

So I don’t really have a type, penis or vagina, pecs or breasts (although I don’t do women with pecs), thin or a little chubby, tall or short, hairy or not (women with body hair, then again, I don’t do). Call me nympho, I call myself curious and most of all, appreciative of the human body. The body is beautiful in itself. Sucks for you, I have twice as much variety. And who says I need to pick.

A common belief is that bisexuals cannot be happy when they pick only a man or only a woman. I believe this is wrong. I mean, I’m attracted to brunettes and redheads, but if I date a brunette, I don’t also need to have a redhead on the side. Granted, hair color is insignificant compared to penis/vagina, but the comparison fits my point of view.

__

I first knew when I was working in a summer camp with mentally and physically challenged campers. I never learnt so much from two weeks; for one, it gave me the drive to become a doctor, and for two, it got me interested in women. My experience with another counselor lasted three months. She was very feminine, taller, long brown hair, tanned, green eyes, 4 years older. And full breasts. But most of all, it was her voice, the way she walked, the way she looked at me. Her energy. I have a thing for artists. She knew that with every look she got me intrigued to a point when it became unbearable. It was hard to concentrate on giving the best care to our campers when I knew she was staring at me. She told me she was obsessed with checking out my ass. It made me laugh, she would wink at me.

I woke up everyday and gave my all to make our campers happy, sometimes making a fool out of myself just to get a quick smile. But when I let myself think of her, during our few breaks, while cooking, in bed, in the shower, I could always imagine her with me, on top of me, under me. I was at year 3 of experience with men, so it was not that I was getting tired (and I am still not getting tired and I doubt I ever will).

The teasing was very subtle. She knew I had a boyfriend, he actually came all the way from Montreal to visit. She found him very attractive. After the first day, we got very close, we didn’t have the same interests except for the urge to help others. And she helped me allright! The weather was perfect. And the evenings. After a couple of midnight swims with other counselors, we started hanging out on the beach just us two. We were naked in the lake, but nothing happened.

On my second night-guard (every night, one of us had to stay with our group of campers) she came to keep me company. **side note: I discovered that mentally challenged individuals have a very healthy sex life. We actually discovered that one of our campers masturbated every night, and seriously I still wonder if she watched porn regularly because the way she moaned… let’s just say if we closed our eyes we would think she was enjoying the best and, hehe, longest sex of a lifetime. I was very happy for her**

So when the last camper fell asleep, she (the counselor, not the camper!) somehow managed to squeeze in with me in my “sleeping” bag. She must have known that I had never been with women. Respectfully but in a determinate manner, she caressed me while we were talking, like if it was what people usually do. It felt right. Then I got to know her tongue and fingers. She got to know mine. She said she needed me.

I offered to do every night guard. The other counselors were in heaven. I was exhausted, but it was worth it. Every night I was eager to know if she would come back. And she did. I needed her. Quickly it was also the mornings. I love to eat, but it was worth skipping breakfast.

When I got back to Montreal, I would come back to visit her every week for the rest of the summer. I had my boyfriend, and we eventually broke up. I was under the impression that some men liked women who like women, but apparently, not him, and seriously, I did not give a fuck.

Since then, I have not really been with other women. I miss her. I have never been attracted to any of my girl friends that I know are heterosexual. I would try out new stuff if I knew that the other girl was up for it too.

All I know is that I am, most of the time, up for doing it with any of my carefully chosen men. I also know that I want to have a family with a man I will love. Although I will never belong to anyone, men know I belong to them. But for now, what really gets me is challenge. Erotic and emotional. And the sky knows that I am not getting any challenge from guys my age. Actually I do, but that guy is my crush and it’s a secret. I also have a crush on a girl right now. I love the teasing. I hate men who play hard to get. But women who do keep me awake. What gets me is sensuality, way more than sexuality. I’m not a nympho, I’m bicurious. I’m sitting on the fence And I am free.

Piece of Info

Genital Retraction Syndrome (or Koro): culture specific anxiety disorder where the individual is distressed with the perception that that his/her external genitals (also breasts for women) are retracting into the body, shrinking, or even removed.

Recent outbreaks have been reported in Nigeria, Benin and Ghana and generally involve the public accusation of penis theft, often following an unwelcome touch from a stranger.

Some cases in Thailand have placed the blame on Vietnamese Communist agents who would have put chemicals in the water (I’m not joking). Minor Koro epidemics have seized parts of Asia, including a well-documented 1967 outbreak in Singapore. Hospitals were inundated. Many resorted to clamps, pegs, and even a constant firm grip from concerned family members (plural??) desperately trying to prevent the member from vanishing. (again, not joking)

RACISM
In Sudan, victims were made to believe by force of suggestion that their penises would melt away after they shook hands, shared a comb, or received a verbal curse. The Sudanese columnist Ja’far Abbas warned visitors to avoid shaking hands with “a dark-skinned man” or else…

MEDICAL OPINION
Obviously, doctors find that there is no actual shrinkage; any actual damage arises from overly zealous attempts at preventing retraction. Medical response is to inform patients that the genitals anatomically cannot retract or shrink in the manner feared (yes, even if it is very very small)

In my opinion, this disorder is the result of big fat phallocentrism. If Freud came across this, he would probably relate/blame the ‘theft’ on his theory of the female unfulfillable (without technology, that is) desire to own a phallus. (I won’t start commenting on that theory…!)

Definitely, a man without a penis is not a man. Though I am far from saying that owning a penis makes you a man. Mmm… let’s see, brains? It’s a good thing that there are no disorders that make men think they physically lost their head. But then again, you can’t lose what you don’t have. And when they do have brains, it’s not always a conscious ownership. How often do men self-stimulate their brains? whereas their penis…

I understand trying to hold on to your valued possessions. However, in areas where Koro occurs, this phallocentric energy needs to be invested somewhere else, maybe… sex education.

Also, I definitely believe that this type of anxiety is contagious. For example, if you know that this syndrome exists, you might be more prone to ‘getting it’. So sorry.

Details…

If you don’t want details, please don’t read this.

Let’s just say I really don’t need my condoms to be lubricated these days. And, like, it causes problems with my recent fucks. I guess I shouldn’t complain, usually women get the opposite. All I know is that I REALLY CANNOT picture myself old and dry.

Quoted advice from (un?)trustworthy website.
Anything that dries up the mouth. In general, if it dries the mouth, then it will also affect the vagina somewhat. Examples would be decongestants, antihistamines, cold formulas, certain antidepressants, alcohol, cigarettes, & marijuana. While these may work to some degree, wetness & corresponding tightness levels are not controllable, not to mention that a dry mouth is not as tasty during kissing & is more conductive to bad breath due to lack of saliva. (BAHAHAHA)

Use of a fan blowing on the genital area. Not a practical solution, as it primarily results in making the couple cold, while having little impact on internal vaginal secretions.
(Once again, BAHAHAHA)

Insert a sponge or cloth. One of the more embarrassing techniques as it must be done intermittently. Couples find this a big turn off. The technique though, is to wrap a thin sheet/towel around a couple of fingers. Insert the fingers to soak up vaginal wetness. Proceed with intercourse. Repeat as necessary. While this method does work, re-entry of vagina is difficult & painful because this method absorbs ALL the lubrication. Within a few minutes however, as arousal increases again, there will once again be too much wetness. With this method, there is no way of controlling the desired level of wetness & tightness.
(Ok I assure you, my despair level is like… below zero compared to these women)

Oh aaaaaand the website says that Whatever option I choose, I should look for a solution that is satisfactory for both partners. Finding the right level of lubrication can lead to more frequent sex, and a closer relationship between partners

It’s sexy time. NOT

Head Classes?

Personally, I love to cook. I also enjoy eating. But the best part is seeing someone else enjoy what you prepared for them. In my opinion, there are only a few things more attractive then seeing someone (both sexes) delectate in food; a girl biting a sandwich, eating with a healthy appetite. Salads? Only to open appetite. I do the cooking for myself, but most of all for others.

Why there should be head classes.
Blowjobs are automatically female task (in heterosexual encounters) as much as cooking was in the 40s. However, it does not mean it diminishes female status. It gives them power. Hold back food from your guy and see what he’ll do for you. Hold back head from your guy and see what he’ll do for you. And then offer Great Head or serve Delicious Meatball spaghetti, and see where it brings you. I know my Canard aux Olives got me out of the kitchen many times.

So why not learn to do it well. I personally hate it when people fake that they like a present, or pretend to enjoy your overcooked pasta… and I do think that most polite guys would pretend the blowjob is good if you’re really into it (and maybe that’s the problem). Some people are born with a talent, and others, well, don’t own restaurants and have to learn. Yeah there’s blowjob, like there’s spaghetti. But there is also MindBlowing blowjobs as much as there is Grandma’s Authentic spaghetti sauce. And don’t let anyone fool you into thinking that Grandma’s sauce is exclusive (hehe) and can’t be shared and taught.

Logistics
10 females students and one teacher, plus lucky *volunteers* to work on. I don’t know who I would trust to teach me head, but all I know is that the volunteers’ advice will be valuable – once they get back their ability to speak. I am well aware that this sounds like a really bad porn scenario, sorry.

Why this is not denigrating
– I’m not saying every guy deserves great head. I’m not saying guys should not also be experts at cooking/oral sex. Knowing how to cook does not mean you have to cook everyday. And chefs go to the restaurant too…
-Exactly like for the choice of a partner, I think we should never settle down for less than the best.
-Just the satisfaction of knowing you cook like a chef is enough, even without lucky people to try out your tasty dishes.
-I really think you do it for yourself (don’t call me narcissistic!), and you are very generous at the same time.
-Where it gets you is usually far from denigrating.

Anyway… Hard Penises without head don’t exactly overpopulate someone’s (aka… a good friend of mine’s) bedroom these days.

Dorky and Asexual

Funny how every ‘dorky-and-asexual’ day I plan during midterm season (to study more, obviously, not for some sick twisted self-destructive reason) turns out not to be asexual.

I should give more details, but really, my books want me back. All I can say is, if you’re too busy for sex, you’re too busy to pee. Dorky and asexual days are the best

I, The Gympho

My attention span never lasts more than two hours when I study- the urge to go to the gym always creeps in. Sometimes, more than once a day. It’s the most superficial place I know, and yet I’m always back for more- it’s a love/hate relationship. Like when I keep calling the guy who won’t get hard for I-dunno-what-reason-but-it-hurts-the-heart-i-don’t-have.

Yeaya I got for the health benefits, to feel happy inside and out.

Aaaaand, for The eye-fuckers: make me feel like I’m standing naked just with a quick look. And somehow it feels great. The fuckables: I undress them with a quick look and am always very satisfied. The blasés; I don’t even get a look, and that makes me stare even more. Oh and also the personal trainers- you know they’ve worked out with more than one woman.

You also have the potentials friends, for example, yesterday, the gay guy on the spinner who’s in top shape and is bored even though he’s at max speed/max resistance: gossips about the magazine he’s reading. So friendly. Twice the new friend’s size: the Ginos. Everytime I go, I feel they got bigger. Now, I know some girls like to feel safe around their man. But for certain (other) parts of the body, bigger is not better. When I could fit two (very-healthy-sized) thighs of mine in one of your arms… you might want to stop spending your weekly check on Weigh And Egg Weightgainers. And finally, the sweaters: almost make me feel guilty of not sweating the 45% of water my body is made from. Dude it’s called an antiperspirant and most importantly, deodorant. I still like watching them though! I dunno, it’s just totally addictive. Oh and by the way, I also work out while at the gym.

Bonus: tips for gymers *I love it when guys look like they don’t really care how they look- guys and sweat pants… worth sweating. *Stop staring at girls wearing skanky ‘gym clothes’. They know they’re hot.*It’s not because you stopped staring at the skanky girls that you get to stare at yourself in the mirror for like…so long you forgot when was the last time you blinked. *Beware of the geeeerms

I wish my gym crushes actually led to some actual working out, you know, if only I could stop staring and actually do something. maaaaah the only thing I don’t work out at the gym is my brains. I don’t mind

Lust, Caution

Ang Lee’s Lust, Caution is the most powerful movie I have seen in a long time. To be direct; I don’t know what was wetter, my shirt sleeve (from crying) or my underwear.

No but seriously, Ang Lee has a subtlety that makes everything sensual, as delicate as provocative in this controversial tale of wartime espionage. Lust, Caution is set in the early 1940s during the Sino-Japanese war, mostly in Japanese-occupied Shanghai. The heroine belongs to a university drama troupe plotting to assassinate a collaborator. Assigned to seduce the target, an official in the puppet government, she falls into an oh-so predictable-yet-addictive affair.

The politics are fascinating; the music is enveloping and delicate. Suspicion is enhanced by passion, and vice versa. Til this day I had never been scandalized and turned on at the same time. It made me feel like my sex life used to be a desert compared to this (and it’s not for lack of activity). And it made me remember I have a heart.

And no the movie is not all sex, the scenes might make only 5% of the time. But you remember them. The positions could not be worded, yet everything seemed natural and oh-so-worth of trying if only I could figure out where the legs went. Raw yet tender. The lovers seemed to know each other inside out yet seemed to be discovering something nirvanously new every time. It made me want to be the girl. It made me want to be the guy. I just so wanted to be part of it, not only the sexual part, but also the political activism, in place, in time. I wish I also had something to die for; country, love.

All I can say is, the movie made me want to act, and now. Yet I’m here writing.

Mongamous VS Promiscuous

What are your thoughts on monogamous relationships vs a promiscuous relationship? Which do you prefer?

Monogamous VS Promiscuous

• Promiscuous

• Monogamous

• Promiscuity most of the time

• Monogamy most of the time

• I take what I can get

view results
Free vote poll

Girls Are Totally Deeper

Memorable quotes from my girl friends

Ja: – Nah Jules, there’s no such thing as too much sex. But there IS such a thing as too much bad sex.
– I would never have known if he was well-endowed or not, I had nothing to compare The Thing to- but he just couldn’t stop complaining about it.

N: – I don’t want to become a doctor, I want to be a veterinarian. At least animals don’t pretend they’re monogamous.
– You should try older men.

G: Nice guys finish last.

L: whoooooa you’re friends with THE Sex-Symbol?

V: My advice is priceless. I used to be a nympho.

S: The difference between ‘just liking’ a guy and liiiiking a guy: you picture yourself having sex with him.

A: – Bed, Sleep? Not with my man. Na, we don’t do sleeping. I do Nutella though

C: – Boys are just something you don’t want to share. I never shared toys as a kid. Like, my lollipop belongs in own mouth. Know what I mean?
– I hate to see you cry. Get laid, do something!
– Don’t worry, you can’t be everybody’s type. I’m sure he’d do you if you paid him.
– Can you believe Boytoy and I went to the restaurant? I totally managed to keep my clothes on for the length of the whole dinner.
– Spring break, finally. I’ll manage to get some sex done.

K: I’m not really missing out on anything, am I?

Ip: I wish you were a guy

anyway, I so get bisexuality.

Some Guys Are Just Deep

Memorable quotes from my guy friends. What would I do without you?

F : a woman wearing underwear is sexier than naked; the suspense makes you want it more.

W: – nice guys finish last
– guys are all bananas (see previous post)
– one is good, two is great
– I can picture you with three breasts.

C: I have one-gina syndrome

A: – next one on to-do list: ‘une européenne’
– I don’t really know what a cute butt looks like.

V: – I don’t care if you put on weight, it’ll just make more of you. (yeah the guy was in love)

O: – It’s totally obvious when girls wear padded bras.

J: – nah, clothes just don’t do you good.
– I’m stuck here with [penis’ private name] with nothing better to do than play Scrabble. We both miss you.

M: – Would you love me if I didn’t have a penis?

I’m laughing alone in front of my computer.
Much love

Public Apology

if you haven’t read my previous posts: in a few words, the sex has been… not happening because the partner’s instrument was not hard enough.

Hello BabyCarrot,

There is something you should know about me. Until 2008, I lived in a cucumber field. You know, where the stuff is hard on the outside, hard on the inside, always ready for appreciation (have you ever had a cucumber that doesn’t taste ready? I haven’t) and uhm, well, geometrically interesting. And then I met you, BabyCarrot. Or should I say BabyBanana? is there something softer than a banana?

A wise friend of mine enlightened me today-

W: Jules, cupcake, we’re all bananas. It takes more than a kiss to be ripe and ready.
J: Nah, Honey, I think you should only speak for yourself and all other (ethnicity that I won’t name)
W: Actually, cupcake, it’s probably because your cucumber plantation were all uh, what do you call them… (scratches his head) VIRGINS. Virgins get hard like… sitting on a bus.
J: Nooooo you did not just throw that in my face

And then W-the-wise informed me that I looked deliciously Tomato-like. And a lazy one at that. Fine, BabyCarrot/Banana-would-be-Eggplant-if-I-weren’t-so-lazy-and-impatient. I sincerely apologize, and rrrrrrr (scratch my head, nose, right ankle, look elsewhere) I miss you.

Looking forward to not being lazy with you,
J.

TOOTHED CONDOMS take a bite out of crime

The Rapex: introduced in 2005 by Sonne Ehlers, 57. Anti-rape female device inserted into the vaginal canal. The invert condom is lined with TWENTY-FIVE microscopic barbs that bind to the rapist’s penis- they have to be surgically removed. The inventor was inspired by an interview with a rape victim who once said ‘If only I had teeth down there’. Launched in 2005 in South Africa. Goals: reach global distribution.

Pros:
– available in all sizes
– costs just a little more than a regular condom

– identifies rapist (!)
– the rapist cannot see that it is worn
– reduces the chances of a woman falling pregnant or contracting sexually transmitted diseases
– when the female wants to have sex, can be removed the same way it was applied: like a tampon

Cons:
– the rapist might still kill the victim, however, the pain down there should refrain to think of anything else
– can be used outside of real purpose; as a vengeance, say… against an ex-bf (no, this does not belong under pros)

Critics say the device is medieval, vengeful and barbaric-
I believe rapists should be identified, if not punished. “[It’s] a medieval device for a medieval deed.” And don’t give me the evolutionist argument that men are biologically engineered to spread the seed. I call it Your Right Hand, and use it.

For more info:http://www.rapestop.net/

Sex, Lies and Casper tapes

HEADLINE BOSTON GLOBE 

Charges target sex taping in dorm
Yale sophomore arraigned in case

How in the world we missed this story is beyond us. But more pertinently, how can anyone named CASPER be bad? Well you can judge for yourself, although our first impression at least from the photo and the initial storyline is “..much ado about nothing..” We are still trying to obtain HER side of the story, since the assumption is that she filed the compaint in the first place. How long before we see more copycat cases like this from those craving 15minutes of fame? YAWN..

NEW HAVEN, Conn. by Associated Press- A Yale sophomore is facing criminal charges, including voyeurism, after showing his four roommates a video of himself and his former girlfriend having sex, according to an arrest warrant.

Casper Desfeux, a Copenhagen native and sophomore who lived in Davenport dorm, told police he recorded the incident without the woman’s knowledge using a camera on his Apple MacBook, according to the arrest warrant affidavit. The woman, who is also a Yale student, found out about the video from one of Desfeux’s roommates, according to police.
Desfeux, 20, said he activated the camera because he just “wanted to see if it worked,” according to police. Police say the woman brought the charges to prevent the sexually explicit video footage from being disseminated around the university or on the Internet.
Desfeux was arraigned yesterday in Superior Court on voyeurism and dissemination of voyeuristic materials, officials said.
“This is a misunderstanding involving two young college students,” said his attorney, William Dow III. “There was absolutely no distribution of anything on the Internet. We’re confident this will be resolved to the satisfaction of all parties.”
Desfeux told Yale police he never sent the video to anyone because, at 45 minutes, it was too lengthy to process. He also said he did not make still photos from it. Yale police have seized the laptop, camera, and other items, which are being held until they can be delivered to the State Police forensic laboratory for examination, according to the affidavit.

and we thought Vanier was vanilla…

February 13, 2008 — The kinky college professor who was almost strangled during an S&M session at a NewYork city club said yesterday he’s deeply ashamed and is finally through with the double life he’s lived since he was kid.

“I don’t want this to spoil my marriage,” said Robert Benjamin, 67, still disoriented from the three days he spent in a coma but sitting upright in a chair in his room at St. Vincent’s Hospital.

“I don’t want my wife to leave me, but I have to tell her the truth,” he said. “I’m going to share everything with her. I think my family will forgive me,”

Benjamin said he’s desperately trying to break his addiction.
“It’s like when you crave a turkey,” he said. “You eat it and you eat it and you eat it, but you still want it. But now I’ve had enough. I don’t want turkey anymore. I’m full.”

His life was saved last Friday by a dominatrix at the Nutcracker Suite on East 33rd Street, who was assigned to check on him after her colleague left him with a dog collar around his neck and a leather mask over his face, suspended a few inches off the floor.

She realized his foot was turning blue because one of his high heels had slipped off.

“I don’t want to go to the clubs anymore,” Benjamin said.

“I’m trying to learn to control myself and my emotions. I’ve seen doctors to help me,” he said, adding that he’s been unable to control his desires “from very early on in my life.”

Benjamin managed to keep his shameful secret from his wife, his two kids, who are now adults, and the students he taught at Montreal’s Vanier College until his recent retirement.
He never indulged his “dirty habit” in Montreal, where he fooled relatives, neighbors and colleagues into thinking he was a respectable family man who enjoyed outdoor activities.

Benjamin would make regular trips to New York where he’d stay at a “Y” and spend his time indoors. He’d tell his family he was cross-country skiing upstate, then visiting the city “to take photographs” and eat pizza at his favorite Italian restaurants in Brooklyn.

“My biggest fear has always been that someone would find out. That’s why I come to New York and never do this in Montreal,” he said.

Hours later, Benjamin’s wife, Lynn, arrived at the hospital from Canada, but declined to comment. Benjamin, who came out of a coma Monday and is still recovering from his ordeal, struggled to remember numbers and dates, but guessed he’s been married for “30 years or more.”

He does not remember putting on the handcuffs, nipple clamps, dog collar, high-heel shoes or hood, vowing “I’m going to seek professional help to get over this dirty habit.”
“The doctors told me I was passed out, but now I’m awake. They saved me, they gave me the confidence that I will be OK.”

Benjamin attributes his recovery to his excellent physical health.

“I’m in really good shape,” he said. “I bike, I ski, I take care of myself.”

He vowed never again to risk his life during his retirement, saying he’s relaxing, enjoying his time and “doing all the things I never had the chance to do.
“Now that I’ve almost died, I can’t see myself going back to S&M,” he said. “If you gave me $100,000 to spend there, I wouldn’t. I’m not crazy.”
Taki Noriko, the dominatrix who trussed up Benjamin and left him alone – as he’d requested – was relieved to hear of his recovery.
“Thank you,” she said, with a long sigh. “Thank you very much for telling me.”

Make Love Not War

I believe that if every adult was sexually satisfied, there would be no war.

And plus, in my politics class, I learned that statistically, wars occur whenever there is a large gap in the ratio of men to women.

You know what to do

Freeballing It

After Britney’s scandalicious vajayjay all’aperto episode, freeballing lost the classiness it once had (think Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct). No comment, except that I empathize with trying to avoid The VPL – Visible Panty Line.

The origins of the word are open to speculation; some say it might refer to being “out in the open” or “ready for action.” It might also be linked with the Scotish heritage of the kilt; the first Commando units were trained in Scotland during WWII. As for the British Forces, ‘going commando’ refers to not washing and lacking hygiene in general (well, more than usual guys do) as Royal Marine Commandos have a reputation when on duty.

Pros: avoids the VPL. Can be very comfortable if you don’t have the bladder of a 68-year-old. Although I doubt that it procures the same type of sexual liberation as the Burn Bras movement. Plus, according to my good friend Wiki, tight underwear decreases sperm count in men. I know you only need one to fill the oven, but don’t let it get to that point!

Cons: Opponents will state health issues – unfounded unless you wear a microskirt in the bus. Also, reasons like ‘If God had wanted men to ‘go commando’ he wouldn’t have invented polycotton with two per cent lycra! When my zip broke once I was glad to have boxers on.’ –Comedian Dave Gorman

Dude, I’m all for tighty whities, but I doubt you have enough clean underwear to last til Mom’s next laundry. And the fact that your zipper broke speaks of more urgent issues than the fabric/colour/tightness of your underwear. The mental picture of a guy in a suit going commando goes further for me. Further as in really far.

three things

First, there are no good reasons for a guy not to be hard enough for sex.

Second, why does porn-sperm stick on face as if life-or-death matter, you know, too much like Spiderman’s web on buildings?

and what’s up with mature women porn (like 75+)? The only thing I like old and crusted is cheese, and even then- too dry

yes but can she cook..?

Whether you want to call it robot fetishism, technosexuality, or just perversion, having sex with a robot or a sexual technology device is a fantasy for some. It’s also a solution for those that have trouble convincing a real live human to have sex with them. Whatever the reason, there are a number of robots and robotic products out there that can satisfy sexual desires, and we’ve profiled a number of them here.

Repliee Q1Expo: This “female” android has very human looks and senses. She has high-sensitivity tactile sensors that react to differing pressures, and can follow human movement. Her creators note that some people forget that she is an android while interacting with her. While there is no official report on the existence or absence of sexual organs in the Repliee Q1Expo, you can program the android to simulate movements.
Andy: Andy is very human, with functions like breathing, kissing, and yes, even sex. She can move into any position and will take part in movements. Her body is very realistic, as she has body heat and a heartbeat that pulses faster during sex. You can even install a video system in her eyes and play back encounters from her perspective. The manufacturer custom-makes each Andy model, and offers a variety of upgrades and adaptations.
Moaning Lisa: Moaning Lisa is a sex doll that doubles as an interactive game. To play the game, you have to touch one or more of her sensors to arouse her, but they’re on an unknown pattern of sensitivity, so it’s not always obvious which ones are the best. Ultimately, you win the game when you give her an orgasm.
Japanese Blowjob Machine: This machine certainly doesn’t look humanoid, but it’s designed to get the “job” done. The Japanese Blowjob Machine houses a motor and orifice with different textured interiors.
DER2 Fembot: Kokoro, a division of Sanrio, has created the Actroid DER2 fembot, which delivers expressions in a lifelike manner. She’s controlled by pneumatic pressure in her limbs, torso, and face, and her movements can be choreographed. The fembot is not for sale, but can be rented for 5 days.
CybOrgasMatrix: This sex doll is anatomically correct and modeled after model Pandora Peaks. She’s supported by an articulated skeleton and covered by a realistic elastomeric gel. This doll’s senses are advanced, so she moves, looks, feels, and even smells real. The CybOrgasMatrix’s robotics offer pelvic thrusting.
Simroid: Simroid is designed for dentist training, but honestly looks more like she was made for oral sex. She has a realistic appearance and human-like behavior, even featuring a gag reflex when objects are inserted too far in her mouth.
DIY Sex Robot: Check out this guide to building a robot for sex, and you’ll be able to customize a sexbot of your very own. Highlights include detailed instructions for senses and programming.
Robosapien: Although not designed for sex, a few creative people have modified the Robosapien to have sex using a dildo.
Rubbot: The Rubbot is a male sex machine. Essentially, it offers hands-free masturbation using “inch worm” technology.
Roboho: The Roboho is not a robot you can have sex with in real life, but that shouldn’t deter you from becoming her Cyber Pimp. In this game, you’ll configure a sexbot, guide her to high paying clients, and expand your harem of robotic prostitutes.
Alpha the Mechanical Man: In the 1930s, San Diego created a number of exhibits, one of which was Alpha the Robot. According to stories, this “robot” kidnapped a nudist and the two spent days in an amorous embrace.
Fuckzilla: Showcased at Arse Electronika, Fuckzilla is a “fucking machine” that has attachments including a multi-tongued “Lick a Chick.”
How to: Make Your Own Bionic Babe: Fleshbot offers a loose guide to creating your own sex robot, offering blueprints and other points of inspiration.
Robospanker: The Robospanker is just what it sounds like-a robotic spanking machine. It uses a small motor, trigger device, and spring-loaded paddle to deliver spanks from light to painful.
Robosex: The same people who made the Robospanker have made a sex machine for men. It looks like a footstool, but is made with a plastic cylinder that offers vacuum suction and pumping action.
Dita Von Teese: Burlesque performer Dita Von Teese is a real babe, but she’s done a photoshoot dressed as a robotic pinup. So if you’d like to satisfy a robot fetish, she’s about as realistic as you can get.
Vanessa Fembot: Vanessa, the Fembot from Austin Powers, was once up for auction on eBay. She may be sexy, but be forewarned-her chest is packing heat.
Dion: Dion has a very realistic looking body, but the focus is on her singing and lip motion. She’s lauded as a robot that can sing and look sexy at the same time.
Valerie, the Domestic Android: Valerie has a speech synthesizer and is equipped with proprietary AI software. She can perform visual imitation and learns through rote memory.
Sybian: This autoerotic machine for women is made of a saddle seat and a motor, and can be used with a variety of phallic objects. It’s made of quality construction and offers variable speed and vibration.
Robotech Thruster: This sex machine comes equipped with a high-speed piston and stabilizer. It’s essentially a sleeve with external thrusting controls, and you can mount it on a tabletop or similar surface.
Sexbot V2.0: Like Dita Von Teese, this robot is a real live human, but presents an option for satisfying a fantasy. Sometime in the summer of 2005, this “Sexbot V2.0″ offered free robot sex on the side of the road. There’s no word on what happened to the 1.0 version.
Zoltan’s Robot Girlfriend: This guy has cooked up his own robot girlfriend using a combination of a chatbot, teledonic device, and a sex doll. He can talk and type with her in English, and perform sexual acts simultaneously with her life-sized body. On his site, you can get instructions for building a robot girlfriend or boyfriend of your own.
Deep Throat: This “robot vagina” is billed as a device that will do “everything you wished your girlfriend would do,” offering a deep sucking sensation, slurping sounds, and vibrations that rival a real deep throat experience.

thanks renee 😉

I LIKE SOFT – or Bonus: College Girl Fantasies

So let’s say I stop looking for porn that’s nice to women, or at least remotely not mean to them. And like, my ears are still sore from the porn-parties I’ve brought them to, so I thought I’d try magazines. I’m not planning on joining WAP anytime soon (Women Against Pornography- radical feminist activist group started in the 70s). If you don’t want to fight, join.

I went to ‘La Maison de La Presse Internationale’ where they probably sell every magazine you can think of. Under ‘Intérêts féminins’ I found none of my interests. I mean, fashion, gossips, bloating relief, gardening?! No need to add that I had to go under ‘Intérêts masculins’. I should specify that under that section there was only porn. I chose February’s Playboy+ Bonus! Free magazine- College Girl Fantasies.

Let me start with bahahahahahaha. Sorry. The bonus magazine starts with a short paragraph: ‘‘You’re invited to take an uncensored look blabla as the sexiest coeds in college reveal their most erotic, most intimate fantasies blabla you’ll uncover the secret desires that turn on these sexy girls’’. Fine, show me. Fantasies include: posing naked next to sports trophies, riding a bike without hands (hands are busy holding breasts), posing while reading a book and unbuttoning her already unbuttoned shirt (hands are free since the book is on a shelf), posing with a schoolbag, posing with a stethoscope, naked bowling (rear view, of course), splashing water on herself, tying shoes while naked (again, rear view).
– Mmm sorry is this Bonus! Dirty Old (Male) Gym Teacher Fantasies?
– No, College Girl, this is Bonus! Free magazine- College Girl Fantasies.
– Oh sorry, my bad, it’s just that there would be a little less women in this bonus feature if they were my fantasies.
– Oh, really?
– College girl giggles. This bonus mag is like an old tee-shirt you used to love, but then forgot about. Then The Smell that comes from it makes it impossible to ignore. Giggles again. Whereas my fantasies… well they’re private.

However, A+ for real bodies. Real breasts (I think…) and curves- especially thighs. And nothing de mauvais goût. But I cheated, I started with dessert. Now on to the main course: the actual Playboy Mag- Red-Hot and Spicy: the Women of Hooters. Ok I don’t know if I should have- but I actually read the magazine. Fun fact: according to a survey by Womenwallstreet.com, 11% of women desire a handwritten love letter on Valentine’s Day. Next page, an add: Valentine’s Gift Guide. She’ll Love It! Get Some Action. Give Teddy Bear, Get Love! Thanks, I’ll write my valentine’s card alone, and you can sign it.

Actual content: Matt McConaughey interview- why doesn’t he get naked? Oh right I found the mag under ‘Intérêts Masculins’. Although the guy is steamy enough to convert lesbians and heterosexual males (ps, I know it doesn’t work that way, please don’t bite). Miss February has nothing special- average blonde Playmate I guess. Mmmm sooo cute interview: ‘‘My mom, dad and sister are the most important people to me’’ How I’ll spend my playmate money? ‘‘College tuition’’ my basic outlook on life ‘‘Anything is possible with a positive view on your dreams’’. Julie agrees, and thinks Dirty Gym Teacher does too.

In overall, I love the art- it’s funny and has catchy phrases like: ‘‘It makes sense, doesn’t it? I like the hard ones and you like the creamy centers’’ (A couple in bed sharing valentine chocolates, artwork by Kiraz). The Hooter girls… errr well, deserve to be Hooter girls. I also enjoyed the comic strips. Some interviews are really smart. Although I think this mag qualifies as soft right? Well I LIKE SOFT, and I like to read. Still didn’t get off though… next time I’ll try a mag oriented towards gay males. and that way, Creepy Guy From Bus won’t read over my shoulder.

Sexiest message ever heard from a computer

Scientology has been attacked. Not just attacked. The hacker cohort known only as Anonymous has published a Youtube video declaring war. Finally some good old fashioned kick the bad guys where it hurts… Anyway, heres the link… its the sexiest message I have ever heard coming from a computer.

On Saturdays- Thou Shalt Rest

my perfect saturday-
9.oo: wake up. If in good mood, sing in shower and dance like no one’s watching
9.3o: healthy light breakfast, including proteins; whatever muscles I have are in for a party today. Coffee + newspapers + smart mag
11.oo: morning jog with iPod newly filled with songs from last night’s dance-til-I-dropped. Mmmm le(s) beau(x) mec(s) de hier soir = hotter than Dominican Republic in august. Run faster.
11.45: quick shower, meet-up with gf for brunch, smart/not too smart talk + dumb mags
2.oo: back on fave couch for catnap
3.oo: meet up work-out buddy at gym. Whoa my eyes are happy too-
5.00: While I’m hungry (stomach that is), grocery shopping for what my body does best: show appetite (not just stomach wise- read on). Buy wine, red and white, since I’m cooking many courses and that I won’t plan them according to wine color.
6.oo: prepare delicious dinner while humming because obviously in good mood. Set aside. Call family to say Hi.
7.oo: dress up pretty for the sake of feeling pretty. go to movies/opera/play preferably alone/ try out Anal Sex Porn if previously challenged by some Blog-reader.
9.3o: invite Sexual partner over for previously prepared dinner since I have a heart
11.oo kick him out coz I need my space. Write emo stuff in diary about previous movie/opera/play/porn and how it changed my perception of life/or not while listening to jazz with hot chocolate+baileys in bathtub. Yup still alone. And no, no rose petals in the water. And no, no second girl. I’m writing, remember?- busy hands.
12.oo: continue writing/dozing off on couch with chocolate and Port + daily waste of time on the Internet
12.3o: call Sexual partner now that he is done digesting and has brushed his teeth/taken a shower/has napped. Politely offer a drink. Then do what we do best.
2.3o leave me alone dude, yes the movie/opera/play was life-changing, no I don’t wanna talk about it/ show you the new moves I learned from the porn. no I don’t wanna cuddle for another half-second, I wanna sleep. And if you HAVE to stay over, please brush your teeth and be gone before I wake up. Oh and no I don’t mind your presence. And no don’t take that as a heads-up to continue gazing at me like I’m the holder of the last female genitals on earth. Geeeez. Endorphins.
9.oo: wake up to find out that nice-boi got home. If last night’s business was whoa (which it obviously was, or else I wouldn’t have called in the first place) Call him back now that he has showered/brushed is teeth/changed his underwear. Offer breakfast since I have a heart.
10.3o: morning jog, alone.

Although yup, my day wouldn’t be the same if I didn’t know I have the option of calling for some good time with Sexual partner- who might get an upgrade and get called by his first name. I don’t have commitment issues, I just don’t do relationships. To me, relationships are a concept as alien and disconcerting as a colonoscopy. and It’s not coz I only have one pair of feet that I’ll only own one pair of shoes- know what I’m sayin?
To quote Woody Allen: ”Love is the answer– but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.” and I certainly love to think-

There is no such thing as a FFF – Fun Friend Forever

I call them Fun Friends. Modest advice for making it last when it’s worth it or to know when to break it off.

#1: Word it out. You’re in it for the sex right? So why not ask for exactly what you want. I would love to advise you to be patient until he gets to know your every desire, but really, why wait? Spare the rituals of romance.

#2: Remember, videotapes are forever. So enjoy the present, or cherish the memories, but no tapes.

#3: ‘This has never happened to me before’ Unfortunate disabilities? Fine, unfamiliarities and the predictable effects of one-too-many drinks. He messes up the second chance? Remember, you’re not doing charity. Who cares if he praises your world-rocking orgasm-precipitating abilities, or pretends you’re too tight (let’s not get into the one-size fits all talk) nothing changes the fact that you did not get the time to acknowledge the act had begun. Jamais deux sans trois, so, Next! Although great sex or not, polite ‘‘Goodnight’’ chat is always in order.

#4 :Je ne reprendrai pas mon suçon si quelqu’un l’a liché. Translation : who would want to share her lollipop? I’d rather the guy would not sleep around, or at least, not tell me about it. Call me old-fashioned, but I’d rather have only one FF if he proves worth it.

#5: Shop after you drop. You won’t find yourself actively looking for replacement unless you’re not satisfied. And if so, then drop, now. Broken toy, next! There is no worse thing than bad sex. I’d rather have no sex. And that’s saying a lot.

#6 The F-word. Feelings. It is mean to pretend not to notice his sheepish-admiring gaze with the pretext that ‘the L-word has not been worded out’. Mmm geez… maybe because you guys never got to talking anyways. Best weapon against undesired lovey-dovey pillow talk: honesty from day 1. And you have the right to change your mind, as long as you’re honest with yourself first.
a) Are you willing to make the big step towards a relationship? Beware of mistaking sexual chemistry/infatuation with love. I mean, great sex sends endorphins just as much as love does, and why not have both, but is he/she actually worth it?
b) Feelings in the way? Time to have a look around.

There is no such thing as a Fun Friend Forever. Either upgrade or scratch off. Honestly, I think feelings always end up knocking at the bedroom door/car door/bathroom door…

Any experience you want to share for the sake of statistical evidence?

Autodidactive Intro to porn- Or the quest for enjoyable porn

Sex has nothing to do with moderation –

Thinking there was no such thing as too much sex, I rented three movies. Tant qu’à le faire, on va le faire pour vrai! Turns out, there is such a thing as too much sex – bad sex. I chose the first movie on the basis that it was produced by a woman (there’s this myth that woman-produced porn is more enjoyable for women). Title: Sophia (read: nympho who calls herself a feminist). Isn’t Sophia such a pornish name anyway? I bet I couldn’t find even one that’s titled Julie. Or even a character called Julie. Moving on: memorable pseudo-feministic quote I managed to write down before the F*-word-abusing starts: ‘‘I’m a woman in a man’s world, but I make the rules; men, women, sex, it’s all mine for the taking and I take it.’’ And the rest of the dialog is drowned with: ‘‘ooooh F*’s, don’t F*ing stop’s and ‘give me that F* cock’s’’ you get the point, and moaning. I thought I knew moaning, but now I know moaning. I thought presumably-dominant-Sophia was orgasming every second of the (long) way until she actually had an orgasm. Other wanabe-feministic sexual practices included: being splashed in the face with sperm and enjoying it like an insulin-deprived fat kid would feast on cake. Also included: savage-looking horse-riding extraordinarily-well-endowed and proportionally-sperm-producing unclean-looking latino, submissive secretary, submissive pool-girl, oh and a hold-your-breath-beginning-of-threesome which actually turns into some more sperm-splash. So much for woman-produced porn. Tip #1: keep your volume remote-control close – keep your fast-forwarding remote-control closer. F*!

Second movie’s title: Sexy Magical Girl. An anime/manga. A lot easier on the ears. Sailormoon meets Godzilla. In a rather… juicy way. The movie was a lot of fun, my friend and I laughed the whole time, so I guess it defeats the purpose of getting turned on. I recommend this type of porn to everyone, guaranteed good time. Sneak peaks: juice, breakfast sausages and teddy bears. Not too clichéd though.

Third movie: Fantasmes de femmes. Bad title. Tip #2: do not choose the movie according to the title. You think you know what you’re getting yourself into, but you’re not. Unless it’s as self-explanatory as ‘Pregnant Animals gone wild’ and then again, wild is a pretty vague word. I recommend this movie if what gets you off is fruits and pretty dresses, or clichés like ‘La première fois’. I would retitle it to ‘Fantasmes de Prudes’. Except for a scene involving a threesome. Handsome European-looking men, although I recognized the principal male actor as the latino from the very American Sophia. Versatile actor but same urge to fast-forward.

I refuse to settle down with Anime porn, which means the trial-an-error quest to enjoyable not-too-pornish porn only begins. Any suggestions?

Shower Sex

Often I see shower sex in film and on t.v. I was wondering if this works for anyone. Stories that I have found from people seem to point towards fear of slipping and difficulty with respect to mechanics. Anyone experienced in this field? Care to share your mistakes or even a success?

Lets get intimate v.03

Whats your fantasy?

fan·ta·sy /ˈfæntəsi, -zi/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[fan-tuh-see, -zee] –noun

1.	imagination, esp. when extravagant and unrestrained.

2.	the forming of mental images, esp. wondrous or strange fancies; imaginative conceptualizing.

(www.dictionary.com)

Handcuffs? Dominatrix? School girl?
The list goes on! Tell me your fantasies!

redlight channel anchor auditions, take 1…

Lets get intimate V.2

What are your thoughts on breast implants? Out of fashion?

From the Msnbc Website here is a time line of breast augmentation.

(original source)

What are your views on Breast Augmentation?

• Attractive

• Preferred

• Indifferent

• Distasteful

• Unappealing

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Film Sex Part I: Has the Liberal "Left" left?

Golden Globe nominee “Juno” starring Ellen Page has something in common with box office hit “Knocked Up” starring Seth Rogen and it’s not the fact that Rogen played with Page’s co-star Michael Cera in this year’s “Superbad.” Both films feature unwanted pregnancies in which abortion is closely looked at and then denied. Each produces extremely progressive views of a plethora of social problems and yet when it comes to abortion: neither seems to think it is “right.” At first I thought the industry was pandering to the masses and displaying a more acceptable content, but now I have my doubts. What was once a struggle for a woman’s right over her body is now a victory in the eyes of many. The left has resigned itself to the religious right, but that doesn’t matter because the means to achieve abortion are now in place and therein lies the win. I think the left is currently sitting back and saying, “Shit! Maybe we can explore the benefits of a woman’s choice to keep her child.” So now the left has gone so far around the spectrum it feigns politics of center. Or am I just seeing what I want to see and we are simply facing a more tactful moral right that wants us to give in to pro-life values?

Sex Vocab!

Some of you might have heard these terms before, some from my own mouth. If you haven’t, spread them like STI’s.

Peen – Penis
Vag – Vagina
Jilling it – The feminine of jacking off. Also, looking at your right hand, it spells the word, JIll.
Grower or show-er – If a man’s peen is very small but then grows a lot during excitation, he’s a grower, otherwise he’s a show-er. Basically, you get what you see.
Cleaning someone’s room – Having sex with someone
Sweater – A very hairy torso. This one was often used when I worked in a resort in Cancun to describe certain guests. Hey Sweater!
Bic-it – To shave body parts using a razor.
Vagina boogers – Do I really have to explain this one? An ex lover used it while talking about a girl he knew: “I couldn’t go down on her she had vagina boogers!”.
Nintendo week – When a girl is on her period, she’s on Nintendo week. First coined by NB punk band, Romeo Retarded. Basically, her partner plays Nintendo instead of making love to her.
Rando – A random person, a stranger.
Beej – Blowjob
Heej – Handjob
To joff or joffing – Jacking off. This one I first heard from my pal in Toronto.
Dills – Testicules, also from my pal.
S my d – For men that are somewhat shy.
Pocket bf – A cute boy under 5’7. For a girl to be a pocket gf, she should be less than 5’3.

These next ones are from my friend Mike from the band Risky Business, he’s always had a rather colourful way of describing sex:

Shwing shwong – Penis
Bajingo – Vagina
Railed – Fucked
Tagged – Fucked
Stick your wiener in her vageener – Self explanatory

Other contributers added:

Stink ditch – ie; Tongue plowing the stink ditch.
Baby chowder – ie; The end product of romping in bed
Cumishment – Punishment involving cum?

Do you have any interesting expressions you wish to share? Let us know, comment below!

lets get intimate

question of the week

Have you ever broken a penis or have had your penis broken?

Tell me your broken penis stories! What happened? How did it happen?

xo

-B.