Aw…. isn’t that sweet! Try explaining THAT one to the kids…

To crush or not to crush?

Crushes are great and , in my opinion, necessary–especially when you don’t have a significant other to crush on–.

For me it pretty much always went (I haven’t had a “real” crush in ages) like so: eye candy (“damn she’s hot, I could look at her and think about what I’d like to do to/with her all day”), the first words (most likely awkward since I’m so freaking shy), the slap in the face (this slap refers to the moment when I find out that she is not into women). There’s a fourth step to this that I rarely take into action but it is to tell this girl that I like her. Why would I do that? Well…just for the hell of it or in case there’s any doubt in her mind that she might like girls.

For entertainment purposes and for anyone that wants to find out how some crushes end up, please read on…

Renée. One of my best friends’ sister that moved about a block away from my apartment two and a half years ago. Because of the “non-distance” between us, we ended up seeing each other every day. Of course (duh!), I just had to develop a crush on her. Therefore, six months after we started hanging out, I sent her an email (you think I would actually do this face-to-face? Pfffff.) telling her I was smitten with her. That was right in the middle of a trip of hers so I waited for a couple weeks before getting an answer. She finally replied with what I expected: thanks, but no thanks. She eventually came back to Montreal and I realised that for some reason, just writing her “the” email, made my crush disappear. She kind of started taking advantage of the fact that I liked her in that way and I became quite annoyed with her. Annoyance continued for about 4 months, or until she moved back to Toronto. We never ever talked about me having a crush on her. Goodbye Renée.

Isabelle. Not much there. She was in most of my classes in CEGEP…she had pink hair…she was hot. I actually never talked to her while in CEGEP but we became friends after and i never told her about the crush. And that’s it….some people.. . you just don’t have to tell them about your crush cause it’ll fuck things up royally.

Ruth (name has been changed). AAAAAHHHH Ruth! (this really doesn’t feel the same since the name change, hehe). She arrived to this wonderful city about 2 years ago and the first moment I saw her I thought she was really cute.. hot…damn fine. My trusty best friend encouraged me to “do something” because she “might” be bi. Well six months later I learned that YES she was bi and had been dating a girl friend of mine(damn it!). Halloween of that same year I told her about my little crush on MSN (again.. you think I’m going to do this face to face? pfff). Turned out she wasn’t interested but she wanted to be friends. GREAT! pffff. So we started hanging out way more and then I got threatened by her now ex-gf for stealing “her girl”. Story’s done. Ruth and I are really good friends now and we still talk/laugh about this crush I had. No awkwardness. It’s perfect.

Moral of the story is that it’s usually so much fun crushing on someone even though it won’t necessarily work out. Just being in “that world” is fun enough. Thinking about it…the two girls I’ve been with, I never actually had a crush on. Bizarre.

Gender (in)equality: Rescuing the issue from Page A27

As mentioned in my post last week, today is Blog Against Sexual Violence Day. (Pssst: It’s not too late to join in!) Basically, you blog about anything related to sexual violence in a collective effort to raise awareness.

So for today, I’d like to blog about gender inequality (which can and does lead to violence). I was talking to another girl today, and we were both complaining about the complacency surrounding gender equality that we seem to see quite often in today’s society.

We agreed that it annoys and frustrates us when people, especially other women, claim that gender equality is here and here to stay. Likewise, it’s even worse when said women, believing the fight for gender equality is over, try to distance themselves from anything remotely resembling the word feminism. (It’s the new F-Word, I’ve been told.) Sorry to break it to everyone, but … gender equality still doesn’t exist, and feminism is still just as important as fucking.

Sure, women can vote, but why is it that in the House of Commons, only about 20% of the seats are held by women? Sure, rape is treated more seriously now than before, but would you want your best girlfriend walking on St-Laurent at 4 am … alone? Sure, there are more women in the military, a traditionally male-dominated field, but what’s up with the prevalence of sexual harassment and the subsequent lack of punishment?

Don’t get me wrong, I definitely don’t want to be pointing fingers at anyone. It’s pretty easy to get complacent about any issue these days. We’re all busy people suffering from information and sensory overload. News reports that make it to the front page get a fair bit of attention from the public for the first couple of days. But after a week or so, the subject slips from page A1 to page A27 and ends up getting squished between the margin and the Bell ad with the talking beavers. The same thing occurs to us, as an issue that seemed so unjust and outrageous two weeks ago now slips away to the backs of our minds.

This is especially true in the case of gender inequality and people of my age. Hell, I wasn’t even born early enough to see the first fights and victories for women’s rights. And so, by the time people in my generation were old enough to read our ABCs, it seemed that such issues were already considered back-page filler fodder.

Gender inequality is not old news though; the fight for equality for all genders has taken new forms. For example, it’s gone international, manifesting itself in the modern-day slave trade. Last year, the first human-trafficking charge in Canada was laid on a man who smuggled Chinese women into Canada and forced them to become prostitutes. In fact, the revelation that 80% of modern-day slaves are women speaks loads about the unequal status of many women around the world.

Want more stats about non-Canadian women? In Afghanistan, 40% of all marriages are forced arrangements. At least 33% of all women have been beaten, abused, or raped at least once. I have to wonder, how many people who fall into the second category are also part of the first? Though technically not slaves, these women are still enslaved, by virtue of their gender.

The fight for gender equality has also moved to challenge the general lack of respect towards anyone who isn’t part of the gender binary and doesn’t follow its prescribed roles. Keeping that in mind, I see homophobia and transphobia as proofs of present gender inequality. Cases of homophobia are well-documented, but transphobia, not so much. There are some well-publicized stories, though, such as those of of Tyra Hunter or the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. Even simply by skimming Facebook discussion boards, I see people insisting that anyone besides men and women simply “can’t exist”. If it’s so difficult for some people to even realize and accept the fact that more than two genders exist, then how can we say that equality between all genders is present?

I guess the point of today’s post is to just remind myself and anyone else reading this that gender equality is not universal, nor is it even 100% present here in Montreal. It’s hard to be aware of everything all the time – or at least, it definitely is for me – but when it comes to gender inequality, I’d like to see it brought back to Page A1.

– Yun

Sex and crafts

It’s no secret that I’m an Etsy addict, so here are some of my favourite sex-inspired finds this week…

Who knew a penis could be so darn cute? Spend those lonely nights cuddling up to this Billy Boner Amigurumi Penis for only $15. Read about the crafty 22 year-old seller here.

This print sums up my life philosphy! I want it. My boyfriend tells me I’m banned from buying any more gocco from Etsy, but what he’s actually saying is, “Only get ones that you really, really like, baby!” (he called me an “inveterate spendthrift” yesterday – I don’t know what it means, but isn’t that just the sweetest pet name?). Evil Vices is available for $15 from Olive47, who may or may not be the bastard daughter of Tammy Faye Bakker…crazy televangelists.

Take the role of Officer Kinky to a whole new level with this red hot necklace, available for $14 from Seattle-based Melissa of Chuckles Central. I imagine it offsetting a black dress with wicked fire-engine stilettos.

Enjoy the slight perversity of storing your birth control pills in this little wallet stolen straight from Strawberry Shortcake, $5 from Plastichearts.