If you don’t want details, please don’t read this.

Let’s just say I really don’t need my condoms to be lubricated these days. And, like, it causes problems with my recent fucks. I guess I shouldn’t complain, usually women get the opposite. All I know is that I REALLY CANNOT picture myself old and dry.

Quoted advice from (un?)trustworthy website.
Anything that dries up the mouth. In general, if it dries the mouth, then it will also affect the vagina somewhat. Examples would be decongestants, antihistamines, cold formulas, certain antidepressants, alcohol, cigarettes, & marijuana. While these may work to some degree, wetness & corresponding tightness levels are not controllable, not to mention that a dry mouth is not as tasty during kissing & is more conductive to bad breath due to lack of saliva. (BAHAHAHA)

Use of a fan blowing on the genital area. Not a practical solution, as it primarily results in making the couple cold, while having little impact on internal vaginal secretions.
(Once again, BAHAHAHA)

Insert a sponge or cloth. One of the more embarrassing techniques as it must be done intermittently. Couples find this a big turn off. The technique though, is to wrap a thin sheet/towel around a couple of fingers. Insert the fingers to soak up vaginal wetness. Proceed with intercourse. Repeat as necessary. While this method does work, re-entry of vagina is difficult & painful because this method absorbs ALL the lubrication. Within a few minutes however, as arousal increases again, there will once again be too much wetness. With this method, there is no way of controlling the desired level of wetness & tightness.
(Ok I assure you, my despair level is like… below zero compared to these women)

Oh aaaaaand the website says that Whatever option I choose, I should look for a solution that is satisfactory for both partners. Finding the right level of lubrication can lead to more frequent sex, and a closer relationship between partners

It’s sexy time. NOT



10 Responses to “Details…”

  1. ellen m. Says:

    I have never commented on your blog, but really I caNNOT believe that you are complaining about..this. OUt of curiosity is this only when you are ahem.. aroused, or just like all the time?

  2. sarah Says:

    In all my years as an self enlightened iconoclast I have never run into such a motley group of ‘writers’. Some of you are very talented but also very uneven and.. uninhibited to say the least, which is not a bad thing at all. I think it’s a given that either you kids will be a huge hit or…

  3. Julie Says:

    when I’m aroused, but it’s negative feedback because i find it a turnoff

  4. leila janowsky Says:

    Ask your umm… man of the moment what he thinks, maybe you are getting the wrong feedback from the wrong guy

  5. Julie Says:

    the penis does not like it; erections are hard to come

  6. Ip Says:

    Since when does a penis NOT like your kind of problem?

  7. Julie Says:

    ED penises

  8. Ip Says:

    Soft floppy penises that you can’t get enough of? Hmmm? lol

  9. Julie Says:

    i’m so sad maybe I should buy a Happy Meal, and maybe I should Supersize the deal

  10. Ip Says:

    I’ll come get fat with you then.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: