Relationship Boredom

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Life is so short and love is so amazing but people still insists on staying in a loveless relationship.

Every once and a while I see couples who have been together for years and are not really sure why. Unable to explain why they are together.

I am well aware that some relationships go through that phase where you are almost bored but usually it’s more of a personal issue and not necessarily the relationship at fault. What I don’t understand is why people stay in relationships where the spark is just gone. I’ve seen so many relationships that fall into this state and its never a good situation.

One person in the relationship always end up flirting with others or confessing to others they have feelings. Sometimes they act on them other times they don’t. Why be in a situation that makes you unhappy? I think these people are scared and would rather risk being semi-happy in an “okay” relationship that take the dive and be single for a while and meet someone who is more suitable. Maybe there is a standard they don’t think they can meet so they settle with second best?

Maybe its because my longest relationship has been 2 years on and off that I am completely jaded that long relationships work. There are very few couples that I’ve met that make me think “wow after such a long time they still totally look in love”. My parents are probably the best example of this. After something like 35 years of marriage they are still completely head over heels in love. You think with such a good example in my life I would be more willing to accept that relationships don’t get old over time. Most couples I’ve met seem to be bored and have the same routine. Granted that is exactly what some people want in life, routine, comfort and security. I hope I never end up in this situation but I see how it can work for certain personality types.

Sometimes it works.. sometimes it doesn’t. I think a lot of relationships have to deal with a lot of insecurities with the parties involved. In a recent conversation a friend of mine described it best…

“ I often think that so often people don’t know how to deal with their own problems that they look to a relationship as a bank account for their own miserable bullshit” – quote from a friend who will only go by the name “Dr.Love”.

Which can only lead to problems and unhappiness and really who wants that? You need to deal with your issues and not bury them and get stuck in a relationship that just makes the situation worse.

Its my personal opinion that best thing for a successful and happy relationship to happen is that both parties of the relationship can be independent. Dependency is nice and its a really great part of being in a relationship but I think that independence is just as important and can help with “couple boredom syndrome”. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”- unknown. Both parties need to have lives aside from each other. It doesn’t have to be something huge that it makes it hard to schedule alone time and its best if its not work related. It allows for some mystery in the life of your significant other and actually something to talk about aside from the weather and the same old “how was your day” conversations. It seems like such a trivial solution but really I don’t think enough couples of my generation take time to be independent. Serial daters are more and more common because no one takes time to be independent so when they jump from relationship to relationship it turns into the only thing they have.

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