Posts Tagged ‘orgasm’

Medical Emergency: When Even Masturbation Goes Wrong

November 3, 2008

My friend was telling me that whenever he masturbates, he sometimes gets a headache at the back of his head, and his neck and shoulders hurt and he feels sick. After asking him why he still masturbates, and laughing at my own question, I looked it up and found this:

It sounds like he has an unfortunate case of coital cephalalgia — also known as effort migraine, or sexual headache. Extremely severe and sharp pain behind the eyes is also a symptom. The headaches usually have an immediate onset, with some gradually worsening during intercourse and others (referred to as “explosive headaches“) occurring almost instantaneously at the moment of orgasm. These headaches typically last for a few minutes to a few hours, although it is possible for such headaches to last up to a few days. It is most common for men to experience these headaches for the first time in their early 20s, or between the ages of 35-44; the reason for this is unclear.

More prevalent in men, by a ratio of 3:1, these headaches appear in roughly 1% of the population, though I would think the prevalence to be higher, due to the embarrassment of presenting with the disorder, especially in cases where spontaneous remission occurs after a few days. Up to 10% of patients taking medication for erectile dysfunction may experience these headaches. It’s important to see a doctor if you have such symptoms in order to rule out a potential brain aneurysm, or tumors. In most cases, these headaches are benign. More serious symptoms include a stiff neck, confusion, and dizziness.

As for treatment, the doctor may recommend abstaining from sexual activities and masturbation for a short period of time ranging from a few days to a few weeks. In addition, medications such as propanolol can be taken in advance of sexual activity to prevent such headaches. Losing weight to a more ideal level and increased exercise may also reduce the likelihood of recurrences.

So whatever the state of your sex life, you can take comfort that at least you don’t have this.


On Silent Pleasures

October 18, 2008

I bet that unconsciously, most of you judge your sexual performance by the moans that your partner makes.


I have a new tip for you. Actually I could write a Cosmo article out of it, it would be titled something lame like: How To Get As Many As You Want, When You Want. But since Cosmo cultivates the art of reducing women to horny lightheads and doesn’t do a good job at encouraging you to be a totally selfish bitch, I’ll post this on the blog.


It’s called the Silent Orgasm. Here’s a story. Once a girl was having a just-ok orgasm, and the girl caught herself moaning as if it was a more-than-ok orgasm. The partner then made a cocky grin, fell asleep and pulled out, I don’t remember in which order but it was all approximately simultaneous. Now, the girl never had to fake, but this falls pretty short.


Silent Orgasm… it’s pretty self-explanatory. Unless you have sex for your partner, you don’t want to vocalize like a pornstar, no matter how positively reinforcing it can get. Most of them don’t feel pleasure anyway. For the first few times, pull  and hold his head to you and focus on kissing when you feel your orgasm coming, all throughout. You’ve probably conditioned yourself to praise/ moan/ sigh heavily, so occupying your mouth will keep you from that.  It’s innate and sinfully selfish. He’ll eagerly continue trying to get his magic going, while you bite your lower lip, your arms push heavily on the matress. And he’ll go on some more while you’re mentally grinning. They’re all about performance. And we are too.


Don’t get addicted though, it’s hard to go back to being considerate to the partner’s feelings/ego. Ultimately, the goal is to unlearn whatever habit you unconsciously internalized by ever seeing sex on TV/internet.


Or listen to each other’s breathing/panting, as much as that tip belongs in Cosmo.

Dry Orgasms; or the Art of Male Multiple Orgasms

October 15, 2008

From my previous Q & A Quickie Crash Course,

Q. A guy can have an orgasm without ejaculating. T or F?

A.  T.


Uh huh, without ejaculating/faking. How?

Dry orgasms can be caused by:
– Retrograde ejaculation; when semen is forced back into the bladder. Can be caused by diabetes, damage or injury to the prostate (prostatectomy or medication used to treat enlarged prostate.)
– Cystectomy (Surgical removal of the bladder)
-Radiation therapy directed at the pelvic area, such as for prostate cancer.
In those cases, infertility might be an issue.

Now, the explanation for the healthy is that orgasm and ejaculation are sometimes desynchronized. For example, conversely, ejaculatory anhedonia is when you ejaculate physically but do not have the accompanying feelings of release, pleasure, or orgasm. You could call it an “anorgasmic ejaculation”

Orgasms without ejaculating are you’re ultimate goal- no matter how satisfied you are with your average-male-single-average-orgasm.

Thus the process of learning multiple orgasms for men is through challenging beliefs about male orgasm.  I’ll allow myself to politically incorrectly generalize that men are simple (simple, not simplistic) in that they are happy with what they have, relationship/sex- wise whereas people bitch that women are “complicated”- that’s because we consider alternatives (including headaches) to finally get the best. That’s why I’m taking the time to write this sh.. The point is; explore other better options, and you know your chauvinistic ego, and your partner, will thank you for it.

First, the art of flexing the pubococcygeal (PC) muscle during sex, but before the PNR/Point of No Return/ejaculation. Requires practice- a common exercise of the wise is to practice stopping urination midstream. You can strengthen the muscle overtime with repeated tightening and releasing exercises.

Cheesier tips; – tune into your breathing, and masturbate slowly (although it might beat the purpose). Ultimately, the goal is to discover the Point of No Return, get more of them, and delay them more. You risk nothing by trying, at worse, 1)you’ll continue having early boring single ejaculation and 2) you’ll be thinking about sex everytime you urinate. Anyways, isn’t that already the case?

*CAUTION*: NOT a reliable form of birth control

coming soon: the silent orgasm

For sale: One (1) orgasm … Cost: $1850.00

May 23, 2007

Okay, so I came across this news story a few days ago. Basically, women around the world are supposed to rejoice, for illustrious doctors have come up with a new type of surgery, called … wait for it … the G-Shot! They can inject collagen into your pussy, thus plumping up your G-spot area, with the ultimate goal of increasing your sexual pleasure. Brave reader, awaiting you are multiple orgasms and a reinvigorated sex life! Er … thank you, science?

Sure, yeah, orgasms are super. Multiple orgasms? Even better. But still, my reaction to the G-Shot is still a big Blech!

First, there are health risks: There are 68 risks that are associated with the G-Shot. Orgasms are sexy, sure, but for some reason, nodule formations just don’t get me hot and wet.

More seriously though, I feel the G-Shot’s major turn-off is the extreme importance that it is placing on the female orgasm. The fact that a woman reported that getting the surgery increased her self-esteem just kind of illustrates that unpleasant implication of the G-shot: So if a woman can’t orgasm at all (or can’t have multiple orgasms or ejaculate or whatever), then does this mean that she’s a sexual failure and should be terribly disappointed in herself?

Don’t get me wrong, I think the female orgasm is important. In fact, I love that female sexuality and sexual pleasure and orgasms are now discussed in relatively mainstream settings and are taken seriously. After all, one of the goals of the Women’s Liberation movement was in fact to promote women’s sexual satisfaction, hence the rise of Our Bodies, Ourselves and The Almighty Clitoris, and the fall of the man who would pump the woman for four minutes before collapsing and falling asleep. That the female orgasm is acknowledged and is even put on a pedestal in some circles is a huge improvement on the silence that used to exist.

However, I’m starting to think that we’re taking things a little too far. Don’t get me wrong; I love fucking and I fucking love orgasms. However, I don’t think they’re the be-all and end-all of sex. That cheesy saying about the journey being just as important as the final destination applies here, I think.

There’s something very lovely (to put it lightly!) about orgasming, but there’s also something very appealing about fooling around for hours upon hours, exploring the body of another person, teasing him or her, playing with different spots and positions. Sure, in the end, perhaps no one’s orgasmed, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. You can’t equate four hours of sexual exploration with an orgasm or two, but you can’t rank one above the other either.

I think that in our time-crunched lives, sex has become in a way almost standardized and institutionalized. There exist books telling us the best ways to have sex, maybe to save us the time and “trouble” of figuring it out ourselves. Plus, with so little time, we actually have to schedule sex. In this kind of setting, no wonder why sex has become painfully goal-oriented! I’ve experienced that myself, and it kind of sucks to pressure yourself to “succeed” and make your partner come. So no, the G-Shot isn’t really helping, because it just tells us that indeed, you actually can fail at sex, and its idea of a cure to this “problem” is by offering to insert bits of extraneous protein into your pussy.

God, with all the pressure to “win” at sex, no wonder why I see so many sex advice columns inundated with women looking for tips on orgasming. It’s telling that the columnists usually respond by counselling these self-tortured souls to masturbate in a low-pressure, comfortable setting, to just forget about orgasming, and to just go with the flow.

I try to keep this perspective when it comes to sex. Sure, it’s difficult and it doesn’t always occur, but I’m trying. Truthfully, right now, my only “goals” when it comes to sex are the following: To have fun and to do it often. Sure, orgasms are important too, but hell, I’m also pretty happy just gettin’ some.

– Yun