Posts Tagged ‘casual sex’

Pancakes on Weekend Mornings: Morning-After Behaviors and Oddities

November 23, 2008

I used to think Morning-After etiquette was basic innate knowledge, but some people never had sex out of a relationship, or some others are just socially underdeveloped. With a little forethought and some quick thinking this potential Venus-and-Mars minefield can be diffused easily and without the hard feelings that embitter people toward the opposite sex over time.

woman-biting-nailsSo, the morning after: Great sex or not, a polite ‘good morning’ chat is in order. You needn’t allude to the act itself; it may be wiser not to in case your ‘that was amazing’ is not reciprocated. Depending on the length of your acquaintance (fifth date, friends for years and then boom or one-night before a stressful meeting/exam the next morning), you may feel  snuggly but keep to the generalities of ‘What’s your plan for the day’ This gives both of you an out if the last thing you want is to play hooky together. If the answer is in mono-syllables, you should still be gallant and offer you lover first dibs on the shower (in case (s)he wants to take flight ASAP, or that shower could be just another testosterone-filled excuse so (s)he can score an extra morning session before (s)he starts the day.). Share your toothbrush. It’s very rude to be squeamish about toothbrushes with someone you’ve slept with. And it’s better than showing off your extensive collection of brand new ones kept for this purpose.

 

No matter what your intentions are, get dressed in the morning. (night-before tip: Be sure to keep your clothes in a close-together pile; it won’t do to spend painful moments awkwardly searching for your underwear, so either keep it close by, or prepare the possibility of losing those underpants forever) Strolling around nude, or even in pjs, is intimate, couple behavior. Yeah, it’s true that you got more than naked with them last night. But just so that no one mistakes sex for love, get dressed. Besides, people can look ‘different’ the next morning, and sometimes sobriety and daylight make for unpleasant discoveries. It’s especially nice to offer that second robe you keep on hand or a clean shirt. Just be aware that you may not ever see the garment again.

 

How you both handle breakfast tells you as much about what’s going on between you as the night before. If the sleepover occurred at your place, you really should offer something no matter how you feel. You fucked him/her, you can pour him/her a glass of OJ. That’s all you have to do if you’re mortified. Even if you don’t think they’re relationship material, you can still give them a bowl of Cheerios and a coffee. Reserve the offer to make pancakes or, most romantic of all, an invitation to the greasy spoon around the corner for someone you really like.  (Is there anything cuter than a greasy spoon on a Sunday at noon? All those sex-drunk, messy haired new couples sharing the NY Times?) This is vital. There’s something about pancakes on weekends mornings that makes people make more of the morning after than just a morning-after; use them with caution.

If you are one without thoughts of a repeat performance, be clear- nicely- right now. And go ahead and lie ‘’I’m not in the market for dating right now. I guess I’m still not over Bingo yet’’ is better than’‘I just really needed to get laid last night/needed a break from studying’’

Or you can definitely ask for partner’s number next morning, if sex preceded courtship. Anyhow, what you can expect is from a range of civilized polite behavior to friendliness post –casual sex. Unfortunately, many men get terrified and assume that you’ll want to be choosing china patterns if he so much as gets acquainted with your breasts.

That’s why another option is to leave before partner wakes up, because who are we kidding, the only reason you were over in the first place was because it’s socially retarded to have sex in a cab, and the only reason you stayed over was because you couldn’t find your way out of there.

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oh, and like a notch in a belt, some people choose to collect items from lovers as tokens of their night together. Whether it’s sweatshirts or lighters, this is not a practice of a fab person- at least not one out of high school.

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