Posts Tagged ‘queer’

Dude, where’s my (good) porn?!

May 14, 2007


“Friends, Romans, fellow porn-watchers, lend me your Internet browsing histories.”

Okay, all bad attempts at literary references aside, I’m serious: Readers of this blog, help a person out. Give me some recommendations for porn. Please.

Oh, wait. First, a disclaimer: I don’t want to delve too deep into my feelings on porn, on my stance on the never-ending “porn is pro- or anti-woman” debate. The truth is, I’m still in the process of figuring this out myself. I haven’t yet decided where on the spectrum I stand; all I know is that sometimes, for better or for worse, there’s nothin’ that hits the spot better than a good self-lovin’ session with some good porn. (Pun intended.)

The problem I have is … Where’s the good porn?

Of course, everyone’s taste in porn varies. I’ll tell you what I like, and you’ll see why I’m so goddamn frustrated about the lack of my “good” porn. Let’s start off with the good ol’ hetero porn. Usually, this stuff doesn’t cut it for me. This type of porn simply mirrors exactly what I see in our heteronormative society every day.

Sure, there are different faces, different body shapes, and different variations on power structures during sex (“Oooh! He’s waiting for her to come before he does anything to pleasure himself – how revolutionary!”), but essentially, I still always see the same two actors in everyday life as I do in my hetero porn. Thus, why would seeing a porno featuring a girl seducing a guy (or vice-versa) turn me on? I can find that same old routine in one of the many billboard ads or TV commercials that hawk low-rise jeans or some “exotically-named” perfume.

My gay roommate tried to help me, by sharing his prized collection of the “hottest gay porn out there”. Unfortunately, I just wasn’t turned on by all of the double-penetration and anal-stretching and circle-jerks that I saw. But I guess I’m kind of self-centered because sadly, when I watch man-on-man porn, my poor little ego ends up crying out plaintively, “But where do I come into the picture?” I guess part of me needs to live vicariously through porn, and I simply can’t do that when the principal actors in a porno can survive and thrive on cock alone.

So that leaves me with just girl-on-girl porn. You’d think that I’d be happy with the selection; there’s a lot of that stuff floating around, after all. Unfortunately, I’m not pleased with my choices, and to be honest, I don’t think it’s because I’m “picky”.

I think that a lot of the “lesbian” porn that circulates is primarily aimed towards men. Why? To be frank, it’s in how the women look: They all look so damn … straight. Long hair, fingernails that look like they’d rip vaginas into shreds, half a pound of makeup on the face, spray-on tans … I could go on.

Yet, to go on a brief tangent, at the same time, I actually kind of dislike this sort of thinking of mine. I dislike knowing that I’m placing these women on a Lesbian-o-meter. Who am I to judge how “queer” a person should look before I decide that she’s “authentically queer”? Who am I to presume that lipstick and long hair makes a woman any less of a lesbian than a motorcycle and a crew-cut? Again, this is something that I still have to work out for myself. Until then, I’m a little sad to say, the truth is that this is how I feel.

Anyway, back to my point. For better or for worse, most mainstream lesbian porn out there strikes me as ersatz and tacky, pandering more to those in the Girls-Gone-Wild fanbase than to people like me: a horny queer girl looking for some, well, to put it bluntly, some hot dyke action.

So that’s it. Please help me out. Surely I’m not the only person who finds the sex scenes in The L Word (which can be found on primetime tele-fucking­-vision, of all places!) to be ten times hotter than the stuff from hotlesbiansluts.com. And surely I’m not the only person kind of frustrated by this!

– Yun

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