Archive for the ‘art’ Category

Fifth Base: Why, and Why Not?

November 8, 2008

Anal Sex: so shouldn’t your only motivation be hedonistic, as all in life, since it feels good and doesn’t hurt anyone? (or does it?) Why aren’t we all doing it then? Here are some typical knee-jerk (or sphincter-clench) stereotypes about anal sex.

Stereotype #1: Anal Sex is Dirty
Since solid waste is eliminated from the body via the anus, many believe that butts are ”dirty” by default. This seems logical, and people don’t often think to look beyond it. In fact, the anus and rectum are merely passageways for poop. As Tristan Taormino puts it, the rectum is not a storage facility. If you maintain a healthy diet, with plenty of fiber and water, your bowel movements will be regular and complete, and there will be little, if any, solid matter left at the business end of your guts most of the time. Bear in mind that anal sex and anal play of most kinds involve only (only?) the lower eight inches (I might be generous on the upper limit here) of your thirty-plus feet of intestinal plumbing, and keeping the relevant plumbing in good working order isn’t particularly difficult. All that’s needed for a butt to be play-clean is a little rinse with water and the use of a baby wipe or warm, soapy wash-cloth on the external sphincter. A freshly washed anus is just as clean as a patch of skin a few inches away on a butt cheek you wouldn’t hesitate to kiss. Like they teach in med school: there’s nothing that can’t be washed off. So relax, already.

Now, does this mean that there is no chance of a random encounter with some small quantity of fecal matter despite your best efforts? If you want to explore anal play and anal sex, you must get over your fear of shit. The most common bacterium it contains- E.Coli- can be hazardous to your health in the wrong place in the wrong amount, but some wouldn’t rate its toxicity anywhere near that of say, botulinum, which many pay to get injected into their foreheads. (Ever heard of Botox, anyone?)

Stereotype #2: Anal Sex is Unnatural
I’m never sure exactly what the word means in this context, since many higher mammals engage in anal sex, and humans have been doing it, literally, since before we began standing upright. How common a behavior must become to be considered ”natural” is difficult to quantify. I suppose that if you believe sex is mainly or only for procreation, then butt play or butt sex might be considered ”against nature” (though nature’s intent in making it so common and enjoyable would thus be a bit mysterious), but if you view sex primarily as a means of reproduction, I’m a little curious as to why you’re reading this blog in the first place.

Stereotype #3: Anal Sex is Immoral
At the risk of trespassing on the turf of those whose job it is to parse such imponderables, I believe that no consensual, mutually pleasurable activity should be forbidden between lovers. Labeling anal pleasure ”unnatural” is generally an attempt by social and religious institutions to keep you from trying it for yourself. I think you’re capable of making your own decision here, don’t you? This is your anus we’re talking about.

Stereotype #4: Homophobia
The notion that all receptive anal sex among men is proof positive of gay orientation is a myth of awesome power and reach. The social oppression surrounding it is so brutal that the vast majority of men of all orientations are denied this locus of pleasure altogether.

As any gay man can attest, liking butt play doesn’t make a man gay. Sexual orientation is a matter of partner preference, not behavior. If you, as a man, prefer to have sex with women, regardless of the specific activities involved, you are not gay, so there. However, if you are open to anal stimulation, you are an uninhibited sensualist and damn lucky. Unlike your insecure pals at the gym, you have access to additional sources of mind-blowing orgasms. Just remember that if you see a woman when you look back over your shoulder while it’s happening, you’re no less straight than you would have been had you entertained the fantasy and never acted on it.

Stereotype #5: Butt is ”exit only”
Anatomically speaking, colons are simply tubes, and tubes go both ways. When anal sex is practiced sensibly and safely, there is no anatomical factor that makes it inherently more difficult, dangerous or destructive to the human body than other forms of sex. The common fear that anal penetration will eventually lead to a permanent loosening of the sphincter (incontinence), hemorrhoids, or other irreversible damage has much more to do with what goes on in people’s heads than in regions farther south. Spincter muscles are naturally equipped to dilate and contract repeatedly and will continue to do so normally regardless of direction, if treated with reasonable care and consideration. Indeed, regular anal play both relaxes and strengthens internal muscle tissue and contributes to healthy bowel function.

Women can have a particularly hard time with the notion of anal sex because some think they’re supposed to be clean, delicate, dainty creatures made out of sugar and spice and everything nice, and our physiologies tend to be inconveniently messy as it is. Moreover, early anal experimentations are often initiated by men, who may not know much about the subject either; often with unpleasant results. One bad poke can put a woman off anal sex for years. (Or so I’ve heard). But it remains true that, in order to enjoy butt play, a woman has to jettison her notions of ”Propriety” and ”Ladylike” behavior, as there is little that is more primal than butt sex.

But saying no, with or without a valid reason, is always an option on your sexual menu. Don’t do it to please anyone. Don’t do it if you don’t want to. Don’t do it if it hurts. Butts can’t lie, so don’t do it to ”prove” anything to anyone, including yourself.

In an upcoming post: Is anal sex really No Pain All Gain? Answers to questions you would only dare ask online.

On another note:
Tracey Emin: major art exhibition in London at one of the UK’s top galleries:”Seduced,” at the Barbican Gallery, is billed as the most sexually explicit fine-art exhibition ever staged. It attempts to show 2,500 years of sexuality in world art, and to explore how attitudes about what is erotic art and what is pornography have changed through the ages.


Of Biting: teachings of the Kamasutra

October 28, 2008

In my opinion, this is what separates men from boys.

Here’s some info from a translation of The Kamasutra of Vatsyayana that I brought back from India. Now this all sounds pretty technical, but imagine it as you read, as I do as I write. It’s genuine passion, taught at it’s best. There’s a reason why the teachings have been kept proudly for millenia.

The quality of good teeth are as follows: they should be equal, posessed of a pleasing brightness, capable of being coloured, of proper proportions, unbroken, and with sharp ends.

different kinds of biting:
– the hidden bite; is shown only by the excessive redness of the skin that is bitten
– the swollen bite; the skin is pressed down on both sides
– the point; a small portion of the skin is bitten with two teeth only
– the line of points; such small portions of the skin are bitten with all the teeth
– the ‘oral and jewel: ‘done by bringing together teeth (jewel) and lips (coral)
– the line of jewels; with all the teeth
– broken cloud ; unequal risings in a circle, and which comes from the space between the teeth. on the breasts
– biting of the boar; many broad rows of marks near to one another, and with red intervals. on the breasts and shoulders.

Hidden bite, swollen point and the point are made on the lower lip. the swollen bite and the coral and the jewel bite are done on the cheek. line of points and line of jewels are to be impressed on the throat, the armpit and the joints of the thighs. the line of point alone is to be impressed on the forehead and the thighs.

Biting that has goal to increase passion should be done first, and that which is only for amusement or variety should be done afterwards.

Markings from biting or from nails illustrate an ornament of the forehead, an ear ornament, a bunch of flowers, a betel leaf or a tamala leaf, which are worn by the woman that is beloved, and are signs of the desire of enjoyment.

Now here’s my favorite verse, translated directly: ‘When a man bites a woman forcibly, she should angrily do the same to him with double force. Thus, a point should be returned with a line of points and a line of points should be returned with a broken cloud, and if she be excessively chafed, she should at once begin a love quarrel with him. at such a time she should take hold of her lover by the hair, and bend his head down, and kiss his lower lip, and then, being intoxicated with love, she should shut her eyes and bite him in various places. Even by day, and in place of public resort, when her lover shows her any mark that she may have inflicted on his body, she should smile at the sight of it, and turning her face as if she were going to chide him, she should show him with angry look the marks on her own body. Thus, if men and women act according to each other’s liking, their love for each other will not be lessened even in one hundred years.’

see, it’s more like a lifestyle


October 22, 2008

Artist Cees Krijnen has collaborated with with Freundenthal/Verhagen, Jason Wallis-Johnson and Oscar Süleyman to create this striking image which is both fantasy based and humorous. The work injects the penile imagery and literally sugar coats it in order for it to compliment its surroundings. This piece tackles the issues of virility and fantasy in a naive manner. by Andy G

Dry Orgasms; or the Art of Male Multiple Orgasms

October 15, 2008

From my previous Q & A Quickie Crash Course,

Q. A guy can have an orgasm without ejaculating. T or F?

A.  T.


Uh huh, without ejaculating/faking. How?

Dry orgasms can be caused by:
– Retrograde ejaculation; when semen is forced back into the bladder. Can be caused by diabetes, damage or injury to the prostate (prostatectomy or medication used to treat enlarged prostate.)
– Cystectomy (Surgical removal of the bladder)
-Radiation therapy directed at the pelvic area, such as for prostate cancer.
In those cases, infertility might be an issue.

Now, the explanation for the healthy is that orgasm and ejaculation are sometimes desynchronized. For example, conversely, ejaculatory anhedonia is when you ejaculate physically but do not have the accompanying feelings of release, pleasure, or orgasm. You could call it an “anorgasmic ejaculation”

Orgasms without ejaculating are you’re ultimate goal- no matter how satisfied you are with your average-male-single-average-orgasm.

Thus the process of learning multiple orgasms for men is through challenging beliefs about male orgasm.  I’ll allow myself to politically incorrectly generalize that men are simple (simple, not simplistic) in that they are happy with what they have, relationship/sex- wise whereas people bitch that women are “complicated”- that’s because we consider alternatives (including headaches) to finally get the best. That’s why I’m taking the time to write this sh.. The point is; explore other better options, and you know your chauvinistic ego, and your partner, will thank you for it.

First, the art of flexing the pubococcygeal (PC) muscle during sex, but before the PNR/Point of No Return/ejaculation. Requires practice- a common exercise of the wise is to practice stopping urination midstream. You can strengthen the muscle overtime with repeated tightening and releasing exercises.

Cheesier tips; – tune into your breathing, and masturbate slowly (although it might beat the purpose). Ultimately, the goal is to discover the Point of No Return, get more of them, and delay them more. You risk nothing by trying, at worse, 1)you’ll continue having early boring single ejaculation and 2) you’ll be thinking about sex everytime you urinate. Anyways, isn’t that already the case?

*CAUTION*: NOT a reliable form of birth control

coming soon: the silent orgasm

Sensual vs Sexual

October 5, 2008

Definitely find that subtly engaging pics are sexier than full frontal bare-it-alls. just like a slightly revealing top would be more enticing than a shameless decolleté. what do you think?

Ask not what your partner can do for you, but what YOU can do for your partner

September 7, 2008

Condoms Campaigns Over the World

The Great American Condom Campaign. Do it for your Country is one of their slogans.


In Berlin. You have to know that Berlin’s coat of arms is a bear.
(Bärchen=little bears. gummi=condoms. gummi, bårchen=condoms, Berliners)

American Beauty-esque add by Government of Brazil, targetting young gay men

created by the Commonwealth Department of Community Services and Health in Australia

 and my favorite,

 “No sexual act is more death-defying than sex without protection. Don’t put yourself in that position. — Pi Kappa Phi.” based on an ancient Central Indian painting first published in 1883 in the Kama Sutra of Vatsyavana

Heading South – Blinding Lust in a Sexual Paradise Lost

May 2, 2008

If you’re looking for something exotic but not clichéed, read Dany Lafferrière’s Vers Le Sud. It takes a steamy look at the sex tourism industry in Haiti during Jean-Claude “Baby Doc” Duvalier’s oppressive regime in the late 1970s. But more than that, this politically pointed film contemplates the darker social undercurrents beneath a seemingly benign example of sexual tourism. Read it, and we can discuss if sex workers have agency, or are they the victims of a global sex industry? Is it wrong for a white middle-class woman to ‘come to paradise’ to fall in ‘love’ with a young sex worker, since she’s exchanging money, or is she still committing a crime and… pedophilia? The vision that the book offers is one of a passionate crime to commit over and over again. And it is way above consensual. The characters are complex, fully realized, and most of all, memorable.

Dany Lafferière also wrote Comment faire l’amour avec un Nègre sans se fatiguer (How to make love with a black man without getting physically tired)

Here’s an abstract of Heading South. Good porn enhanced by a good story.

Certains peuvent demeurer le même homme dans une église comme dans un bordel. Albert, par exemple. Some men can remain the same in the church as in a whore house. Albert, for example.

De toute façon, on ne peut pas empêcher un cœur d’aimer. Surtout un corps. Un corps, c’est pire encore qu’un cœur, Fanfan. Anyway, you cannot keep a heart from loving. Especially a body. A body is worst than a heart, Fanfan.

If you’re the type who watches the action but does not listen to the dialog during movies:

Il paraît qu’ils se sont battus toute la nuit. Il lui résistait. Elle était déchaînée. Cette jeune fille si délicate. Elle pleurait. Elle le griffait à la poitrine, elle le frappait au visage de toute sa force, elle l’insultait, elle mendiait une caresse, elle quémandait un baiser, elle le menaçait de hurler et de faire croire qu’il tentait de la violer, elle pleurait de toutes les larmes de son corps, elle le suppliait de la prendre. Lui, il n’était pas insensible à la luminosité de ce fragile corps blanc, si rare dans la case d’un nègre, mais il savait aussi que s’il cédait, c’était la mort qui l’attendait au lever du jour. Plus il résistait, plus son désir à elle devenait violent. Finalement, un peu avant l’aube, il entra en elle, et elle hurla tout en enfonçant son poing dans sa propre bouche. Il s’est endormi sur elle tout de suite après. Imaginez : un esclave et une jeune fille blanche.

alternative to facebook

April 22, 2008

why do porn when you could do real life?

artsy, provocative, elegant, NUDE, celebrating diversity:

one of my favorite profiles: burmohini

Thank you, Bill and Monica!

March 7, 2007

Okay, so maybe it’s old news, a little bit, but I just can’t not share it. A friend of mine sent me a link to this news article: Apparently, some theatre in the US was forced to change its marquee from The Vagina Monologues to The Hoohaa Monologues, because some parents found it “offensive”.

Okay, skipping over the sheer idiocy (and the irony) of the name change, because that’s just too easy to make fun of, I’ll ask instead: What is it about vaginas that so often gets people’s goats?

Strangely enough, I think this situation actually can find its parallel in Harry Potter: You know how everyone’s afraid to say Voldemort’s name, because he’s such an all-powerful wizard? And how they have to replace his name with You-Know-Who instead because they’re so scared of him? I think that’s what’s going on with vaginas.

People are scared to death of vaginas, because vaginas are representative of sex, an act that traditionally is seen as dirty and forbidden and terrible. Thus, they must resort to veejayjays or down theres or hoohaa instead. Vaginas are the Voldemorts of this world. (They even start with the same letter! ‘Nuff said?)

Furthermore, why is it that the word anal, as in anal-retentive, is used relatively often and without fear? There doesn’t seem to be a stigma attached to anal the way there is with vagina, even though an anus strikes me as a body part that’s a hell of a lot dirtier than a vagina can ever be. So really, it’s totally the sexual aspect of vaginas that gets people scared.

You know, it’s stuff like this that makes me wish for another huge Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky sex scandal. In the ensuing media explosion, we were constantly bombarded with stories of sex and sex and even more sex. Over the space of a couple of months, we heard all the gory details about Bill and Monica’s sex lives: their sexual intercourse, their “I did not have sexual relations with that woman“, their oral sex, and if you were lucky enough to hear it, their “kinky” use of a cigar as a sex toy.

It’s not that I bear any ill will towards Bill Clinton or any other hapless politician following his pecker. In fact, I don’t believe that what goes on in a person’s bedroom (or on the expensive mahogany desk in the Oval Office) should be exhibited for public judgment and scrutiny. No, but just pause for a minute, and imagine what would happen if George Bush was caught bangin’ his intern while in office …

… The world would undergo a temporary sexual renaissance of sorts: For a glorious few months or so, their sexploits would be splashed across newspaper headlines and blaring from primetime newscasts. For those wonderful few months, sex would be completely demystified and stripped bare. For those liberating few months, there would be no stigma placed on sex, and people would actually be unafraid to talk about it in public.

And maybe, hopefully, it would be during those few months that The Hoohaa Monologues could regain its rightful name again.

– Yun