I LIKE SOFT – or Bonus: College Girl Fantasies

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So let’s say I stop looking for porn that’s nice to women, or at least remotely not mean to them. And like, my ears are still sore from the porn-parties I’ve brought them to, so I thought I’d try magazines. I’m not planning on joining WAP anytime soon (Women Against Pornography- radical feminist activist group started in the 70s). If you don’t want to fight, join.

I went to ‘La Maison de La Presse Internationale’ where they probably sell every magazine you can think of. Under ‘Intérêts féminins’ I found none of my interests. I mean, fashion, gossips, bloating relief, gardening?! No need to add that I had to go under ‘Intérêts masculins’. I should specify that under that section there was only porn. I chose February’s Playboy+ Bonus! Free magazine- College Girl Fantasies.

Let me start with bahahahahahaha. Sorry. The bonus magazine starts with a short paragraph: ‘‘You’re invited to take an uncensored look blabla as the sexiest coeds in college reveal their most erotic, most intimate fantasies blabla you’ll uncover the secret desires that turn on these sexy girls’’. Fine, show me. Fantasies include: posing naked next to sports trophies, riding a bike without hands (hands are busy holding breasts), posing while reading a book and unbuttoning her already unbuttoned shirt (hands are free since the book is on a shelf), posing with a schoolbag, posing with a stethoscope, naked bowling (rear view, of course), splashing water on herself, tying shoes while naked (again, rear view).
– Mmm sorry is this Bonus! Dirty Old (Male) Gym Teacher Fantasies?
– No, College Girl, this is Bonus! Free magazine- College Girl Fantasies.
– Oh sorry, my bad, it’s just that there would be a little less women in this bonus feature if they were my fantasies.
– Oh, really?
College girl giggles. This bonus mag is like an old tee-shirt you used to love, but then forgot about. Then The Smell that comes from it makes it impossible to ignore. Giggles again. Whereas my fantasies… well they’re private.

However, A+ for real bodies. Real breasts (I think…) and curves- especially thighs. And nothing de mauvais goût. But I cheated, I started with dessert. Now on to the main course: the actual Playboy Mag- Red-Hot and Spicy: the Women of Hooters. Ok I don’t know if I should have- but I actually read the magazine. Fun fact: according to a survey by Womenwallstreet.com, 11% of women desire a handwritten love letter on Valentine’s Day. Next page, an add: Valentine’s Gift Guide. She’ll Love It! Get Some Action. Give Teddy Bear, Get Love! Thanks, I’ll write my valentine’s card alone, and you can sign it.

Actual content: Matt McConaughey interview- why doesn’t he get naked? Oh right I found the mag under ‘Intérêts Masculins’. Although the guy is steamy enough to convert lesbians and heterosexual males (ps, I know it doesn’t work that way, please don’t bite). Miss February has nothing special- average blonde Playmate I guess. Mmmm sooo cute interview: ‘‘My mom, dad and sister are the most important people to me’’ How I’ll spend my playmate money? ‘‘College tuition’’ my basic outlook on life ‘‘Anything is possible with a positive view on your dreams’’. Julie agrees, and thinks Dirty Gym Teacher does too.

In overall, I love the art- it’s funny and has catchy phrases like: ‘‘It makes sense, doesn’t it? I like the hard ones and you like the creamy centers’’ (A couple in bed sharing valentine chocolates, artwork by Kiraz). The Hooter girls… errr well, deserve to be Hooter girls. I also enjoyed the comic strips. Some interviews are really smart. Although I think this mag qualifies as soft right? Well I LIKE SOFT, and I like to read. Still didn’t get off though… next time I’ll try a mag oriented towards gay males. and that way, Creepy Guy From Bus won’t read over my shoulder.

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4 Responses to “I LIKE SOFT – or Bonus: College Girl Fantasies”

  1. pete Says:

    “Still didn’t get off though…” But were you actually trying??

  2. greg Says:

    How can you be so ‘shy’ that you dont even show your face on your profile, and yet you read Playboy in bus? If I saw a cute coed ‘reading’ playboy on a bus, I would be looking over her shoulder too big time.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    pervert

  4. bblonde Says:

    Well the line between ‘looking’ over your shoulder and ‘leering’ over your shoulder is quite clear, or at least should be.

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