No Booty Calls

scrubs quote

Where did you learn about sex?

When I was in grade 3 or 4 I remember a friend of mine coming over and we were playing with Barbie’s. Ken and Barbie got all dressed up for their date just about to step into their pink convertable, when my friend stopped and told me all about the birds and the bees. I blushed and went back to playing with Barbie’s without letting on I was impressed with her adult like knowledge.

When/how did you learn about sex?

Oral Sex linked to Cancer

Time to buy more of those flavored condoms or get Gardasil.

New studies have shown that oral sex increases the risk of getting throat, tonsil or back of the tongue cancer. The same HPV strains that causes cervical cancers in women can also infect the mouth during oral sex. Some men would only be scared of the wart-causing strains of HPV but now performing oral sex on an infected partner can increase their risk of oral cancer.

Decades ago, oral cancers were associated with smoking and drinking but our parents generation started being more liberal with oral sex. As the numbers of oral cancers caused by smoking or drinking decreased, the number of oral cancers caused by HPV increased.

What will happen to our generation turns 30 and 40 yrs old?

By the time we have kids, chances are they’ll be vaccinated against HPV. But how many of them will have parents with oral cancer?

We use condoms for intercourse to protect us against infections but how many of us use condoms or dental dams during oral sex? We associate it with low-end prostitutes, well… the smart ones at least.

Being the germaphobe that I am, this thought will definitely haunt me the next time I go down on someone.

The most important questions are, will we change our sexual habits? Will we start protecting ourselves and our partners? Surgeries, chemotherapy and radiotherapy are a lot worse than burning when you pee and a dose of antibiotics.

Source: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1619814,00.html

Relationship Boredom

Life is so short and love is so amazing but people still insists on staying in a loveless relationship.

Every once and a while I see couples who have been together for years and are not really sure why. Unable to explain why they are together.

I am well aware that some relationships go through that phase where you are almost bored but usually it’s more of a personal issue and not necessarily the relationship at fault. What I don’t understand is why people stay in relationships where the spark is just gone. I’ve seen so many relationships that fall into this state and its never a good situation.

One person in the relationship always end up flirting with others or confessing to others they have feelings. Sometimes they act on them other times they don’t. Why be in a situation that makes you unhappy? I think these people are scared and would rather risk being semi-happy in an “okay” relationship that take the dive and be single for a while and meet someone who is more suitable. Maybe there is a standard they don’t think they can meet so they settle with second best?

Maybe its because my longest relationship has been 2 years on and off that I am completely jaded that long relationships work. There are very few couples that I’ve met that make me think “wow after such a long time they still totally look in love”. My parents are probably the best example of this. After something like 35 years of marriage they are still completely head over heels in love. You think with such a good example in my life I would be more willing to accept that relationships don’t get old over time. Most couples I’ve met seem to be bored and have the same routine. Granted that is exactly what some people want in life, routine, comfort and security. I hope I never end up in this situation but I see how it can work for certain personality types.

Sometimes it works.. sometimes it doesn’t. I think a lot of relationships have to deal with a lot of insecurities with the parties involved. In a recent conversation a friend of mine described it best…

“ I often think that so often people don’t know how to deal with their own problems that they look to a relationship as a bank account for their own miserable bullshit” - quote from a friend who will only go by the name “Dr.Love”.

Which can only lead to problems and unhappiness and really who wants that? You need to deal with your issues and not bury them and get stuck in a relationship that just makes the situation worse.

Its my personal opinion that best thing for a successful and happy relationship to happen is that both parties of the relationship can be independent. Dependency is nice and its a really great part of being in a relationship but I think that independence is just as important and can help with “couple boredom syndrome”. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”- unknown. Both parties need to have lives aside from each other. It doesn’t have to be something huge that it makes it hard to schedule alone time and its best if its not work related. It allows for some mystery in the life of your significant other and actually something to talk about aside from the weather and the same old “how was your day” conversations. It seems like such a trivial solution but really I don’t think enough couples of my generation take time to be independent. Serial daters are more and more common because no one takes time to be independent so when they jump from relationship to relationship it turns into the only thing they have.

Was your sex health program at school good?

Personally mine were AWFUL.

The first time I ever had a class in sexual health was in junior high. Our industry tech teacher taught the class. The back of our class room even had another class working and cutting wood building race cars, all While we are at the front of the class learning how to put a condom on a banana.

Later on in high school I had another course and our principal was suppose to teach the course but he was to shy to teach it. Therefor we had a substitute teacher every class and nothing continued from the class before. He would ask us to write questions one day and nothing every got answered the next class.

During my 12 year school career those are the only class’s I had on sexual education.

What was your sexual health program like?

Sthenolagnia: Muscle Fetishism

Is a fetish defined as ’sexual arousal from demonstration of strength or muscles’. The term was coined by the German psychologist Magnus Hirschfeld in the late 1800s. It is found among both males and females, and there are a significant number of websites who cater to their interests. A related fetish is cratolagnia, which is sexual arousal from display of strength

Female muscle growth (FMG) is a fantasy genre involving muscular growth of a woman. Many who enjoy these fantasies are attracted to Female bodybuilding or other muscular women. This interest frequently centers on the biceps. FMG is related to the growth fantasies giantess and breast expansion fetishism. This fantasy is sometimes about an equalization or reversal of the stereotypical power relationship (that some people imagine/take for granted) in a heterosexual couple.

Literature, art

In texts and movies, the plot device that enables the transformation is magical, scientific, extraterrestrial, or even hypnosis. Some FMG fantasy participants will imagine themselves as participating in the transformations, while others prefer to fantasize as spectators. Marvel Comics She-Hulk is a popular representation of FMG fantasy.

http://www.femalemusclefactory.com/

If you are turned on by this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2lV12PDHr8&NR=1, then you should check out some blogs: www.brawna.org. Popular titles include: Muscle Impossible, Patty Becomes a Female Sumo Wrestler, and Revenge of the Soccer Mom.

Talk Nerdy to Me….. the sequel

It is inevitable that relationships are going to evolve in modern time. I always assumed that this would mean the chasing game would get a bit easier or, guys and girls would start to understand each other but no. We’ve just evolved to hiding behind a computer screen. The Internet is here and its here to stay.

I feel like our generation lost our personal connection with people. We are constantly texting, messaging and chatting as major forms of communication. This leads to a whole world wind of problems for relationships. What ever happened to the Internet just being “the Internet”. Now days… if you don’t change your status or check your messages every couple of hours an argument can brew and it doesn’t stop there. Ever try and talk about something serious in a text message? Its impossible to get your point across yet we still converse this way even though we know the person, we still find comfort in hiding behind that screen no matter how small it is.

The Internet can be a great place to meet people, or a cold and faceless way to get rid of them. With these networking tools people allow them selves to take risks with people they normally wouldn’t or people in different area codes. It creates a comfort zone which allows you to talk to someone you would normally think is out of your league. I’ve met, hooked up and dated people I never would of originally thought I had a chance with all thanks to this modern world we live in. For the most part online talking is a good prequel to spending face to face time. Most first meetings are incredibly awkward but the Internet allows you to move beyond that to some what of a friendship before tripping over your own feet in person.

What goes up must come down and even though relationships have evolved so has the modern break up. I feel that the best way to break up with someone is in person but online can also be fairly useful in communicating without getting angry and letting emotions get in the way of getting your point across. This is only effective after the official in person break up has happened. Actually breaking up online… really lets face it… its the cowards way out. The worst part about these break ups is if this person is part of any of these online communities. Its almost like dating someone you work with and then its over. You have to see this person everyday and hear about them from co-workers. The Internet makes you feel the same. News feeds of what that person is up to or seeing their face in random pictures with, now, mutual friends. The one saving grace that real life doesn’t and the world of technology is the ever so amazing “delete key”. In a matter of seconds you can delete them from your life and start to move on.

Moving on has never been easier. These days we literally have the whole world at our finger tips. Filling in that missing void is as easy as just flirting online with the right person. Companionship is incredibly easy to find in a virtual world, you can pay for it with a cam or dating site, pretend you have it with a little porn or actually find a real person if your lurking skills are up to par.

If this is the modern relationship timeline… what the future holds?

2008 AVN Award Winners

Best all-girl release :

Title : Girlvana

Company: Zero Tolerance Entertainment

Best anal sex scene

Title: Big Wet Asses 10

Company: Elegant Angel Production

Best animated:

Title: Night Shift Nurses, Experiment 1 & 2

Company: Adult Source Media

Best classic DVD

Title: Debby Does Dallas; Definitive Collector’s Edition

Company: VCX

Best Ethnic-themed Release:

Title: Anabolic Asians 5

Company: Anabolic Video

Best Music:

Title: Afrodite Superstar

Company: Femme Chocolat/ Adam and Eve pictures

Best Sex Comedy:

Title: Operation: Desert Stormy

Company: Wicked Pictures

Hook Ups Mix Tape

sexandtheuniversity.muxtape.com

Lovers and exlovers are some of the greatest muses for music writers. This is my mix dedicated to new and old lovers. Songs inspired by love

Hook Ups Mix Tape

Wintersleep - Listen [Listen, Listen]

“I will love you till the day my heart dies”

“There’s something in the way our lips touch,
there’s something in the way we’re stuck together
and they don’t build love like that no more.”

www.wintersleep.com

The Velvet Underground - I’m Sticking With You
“Im sticking with you
cos Im made out of glue
Anything that you might do
Im gonna do too”

You might recognize this song from the juno soundtrack.

More info on The velvet underground

Wilco - Reservations

“Oh I’ve got reservations
about so many things
but not about you”

www.wilcoworld.net

Ben Folds - The Luckiest

“I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you”
“And in a white sea of eyes,I see one pair that I recognize,And I know,That I am,I am,I am,The luckiest”

www.benfolds.com

The Faders - No Sleep Tonight
“I got you, i got you on my mind,And it’s time to make you see (what i want),So i’ll just make this a little more obvious,Cuz i get what i want, and i want you to get with me!”

More info on The Faders

The Ergs - Kind of Like Smitten
A personal favorite song of mine. I only dream of a boy writing a song like this for me. The lyrics are adorable.

“Last night when you said, I was your favorite person in the whole wide world,I almost lost myself, You said, “You don’t even know”,And it was so amazing, God, I’m so in love with you”

The ergs myspace

Food for Lovers

Eating right is a goal in itself. But if you need another reason to eat healthy:

Fats and oils contain Vitamin E: studies on rats and mice showed that a diet without vitamin E would lead to impotence in males and miscarriages in females. When the levels are restored, the symptoms are reversed. Choose healthy fats (olive oil in salad dressing, fish), not deep fried chicken and chips.

Grapes/wine contain resveratrol: mice on a resveratrol diet can solve mazes (you know what I mean…!) better than those who drank strong alcohol instead. Resveratrol in wine also alters the structure of beta-amyloid, which is the compound that deposits in the brain in high levels in Alzheimer’s disease, so that it accumulates to a lesser level.

Fruits and vegetables contain anti-oxidants: less fat deposition in the blood vessels. Bad circulation, lumpy erection.

Chocolate, of course. Contains phenylethylamine: this compound is related to falling in love. Also found in peanuts. Moreover, chocolate increases the amount of Nitric Oxyde, which induces vasodilatation and thus triggers erection: the same principle as Viagra, which was originally developed as a muscle relaxant. But you would have to eat a fat load of chocolate! You might also want to know that chocolate and marijuana share some chemistry: the chemical anandamide in chocolate fits the same receptor as the active ingredient in pot. Cassanova used to eat chocolate before… well, anytime of the day.

No Meat: was believed to be sexually inflammatory by Dr. John Harvey Kellogg (the Frosted Flakes guy). This is a very general affirmation, however, you should know that Dr Kellogg introduced sports as a way of being healthy and offered light therapy against depression (which is a proven clinical method). He believed that meat would rob the body of energy necessary for health.

No carbs: Some Italian women say that ‘if you want your man to perform, don’t feed him pasta’. Or rice, potatoes, bread, etc. While the common belief is that carbs give you fast energy (which they do), the fact is that sugars release tryptophan, which enhances the brain’s ability to absorb serotonin, which relaxes you. And your penis.

Every aspect counts… looking forward to your tales of success.

Deal breakers

according to urban dictionary a deal breaker is
” A deal breaker is ‘the catch’ that a particular individual cannot overlook and ultimately outweighs any redeeming quality the individual may possess. “

some of my deal breakers are..

-Height. guys must be taller than me by at least a foot.
-Shoes. i hate bad shoes
-Living with their mom/parents
-Bad taste in music

What are some of yours?

Male Enhancement Procedures Part III

For Do-it-yourself type of guys… I found this thing on the Internet. You can judge by yourself of its worth.

Warm-up exercise:
- Obtain a small hand towel, wet this hand towel using warm/hot water.
- Place the hand towel around your penis.
- Wet the towel again to keep the warmth. Leave the hand towel on the penis for 2-3 minutes.
- Temporarily discard of the towel and perform workout (below)
- When workout is finished re-heat the towel.
- Apply the towel to the penis for another 2-3 minutes.
- Always use the same towel for hygiene reasons. (What hygiene reasons, I don’t know…)

Doing this exercise for the first time, it may be a little strange and slightly painful in the onset of application but will disappear in a few seconds. This warm-up exercise is IMPORTANT and should be done before and after the main exercise that will be given below.

The Long Shlong Basic: The Stretching Exercise
- Grasp the tip of your penis firmly, below the head.
- Pull it out in front of you and hold for 15 seconds.
- Repeat for the desired number of reps.
- Relax and gently massage head of penis.
- Stretch penis to right and hold for 15 seconds.
- Relax and massage head of penis.
- Stretch penis to left and hold for 15 seconds.
- Always repeat for desired number of reps.

A few reminders for this exercise:
If you have a foreskin, you should pull it back before pulling your penis. Remember that it is the penis that we want to stretch not the skin. After completing this exercise once, repeat the steps only this time, pulling your penis to the left instead of pulling it to the right when stretching. You should have a detailed workout plan or get a custom workout plan so you can organize your activities well. Feeling a good amount of stretch on your penis after this exercise is normal and healthy so there is nothing to worry and it’s a sign of penile enhancement. This should be done accordingly without exaggeration, as it could lead to penile damage. Though this is a natural method, we are not liable for any danger that may occur if you don’t follow the procedures carefully. Responsibility should be carried out at all times during this exercise.

I don’t know…personally, I don’t pretend I’m making my vagina grow bigger when I masturbate.

On a Rock

So I had sex on a rock last night.

Summer in Montreal has officially arrived. Screw June 20th, yesterday was the first day of summer for me. It should be for you also. The first day you have sex outside, announces the start of the warm and sexiest season. Growing up in New-Brunswick, most of my sexual firsts happened outside. First time I gave head was on the beach and first time I received head was on a small wooden bridge in the woods, under the rain. It was easier since our parents thought we’d be at a Friday night dance party but we’d sneak to the woods or the beach to drink and mess around. But ever since I moved out of my parents home, the whole sex outside wasn’t a necessity anymore and kind of went ignored for several years.

Until last night.

My friend and occasional post bar hookup was turning 23 at midnight and had never climbed to the top of Mount Royal. I bought a bottle of red wine and some snacks and at around 11pm, we walked up to the top, sat on the ledge of the belvedere and just enjoyed the cool night and the view of our city all lit up. I also like to go up a bit further and sit right under the lit cross and chill there for a bit. We do all that and decide it’s time to walk down. We take a different path and get a bit lost, it wasn’t really going down or up. Then he gets weird and I ask him what’s going on. He’d gotten horny. The thought of being lost in the woods all alone got him thinking of sex. “You’re being ridiculous!” I tell him. “Come on, we’re all alone, there’s no one here. Don’t you find the idea hot?” was his reply. Honestly, being caught banging by some homeless dude living on the mountain was not really what I considered to be hot. I ask him where would we do this? He said anywhere, there’s no one here. So he starts walking off path looking for a spot that seemed appropriate. Again, I’m laughing, not really taking it seriously. “What about here?” he says. I tell him that it’s too close to the path which he replies with “There’s no one heeeere, we’re all alone!”

That’s when we hear someone *COUGH*. There was a man walking right behind us. We go off to another part of the trail to laugh our asses off and let him pass. I guess you’re never really alone in the woods of Mont-Royal, not even at 1am on a Sunday night.

Finally, we get back en route to find a place that was hidden when I spot the rock. THE rock. It’s cube shaped and kinda raised up. I want to do it on that rock! We’re a couple meters under the cross, I’m on the rock and he’s standing in front of me, hardon in hand. I put it in my mouth and all I could think about was the last time I had done that was almost 10 years ago. I’m kind of amused but getting pretty turned on. I make him climb up behind me, it’s a flat surface and he gives it to me from behind. Then he stands behind me and fucks me while we can both see the entire east side of the city from the top of that rock. It was a pretty sweet view. Switch it up, leave the rock and head over, next to a giant tree. I pull my jeans down, bend over in front of him and he grabs my hips, hard enough that it leaves marks. I hold on to the tree as he fucks me from behind again, this time it’s feeling amazing. Being a tall girl it’s sometimes hard to have your partner at the right level behind you, so the uneven grounds in the woodsy mountain is perfect to find that spot where your guy can take you from behind without being too short or too tall. His hands run over the uncovered parts of my body, my ass, stomach, hips until he cums.

I pull up my pants, they’ve been down long enough for a public area. We have more wine. Find our way back down the mountain and head our respective ways.

It was nice having sex in a public area, it had been a while for me. In the middle of nature, smack in the center of this slutty city. I’m sure the hippies do it all the time but for me, it was a first… doing it on Mont-Royal.. on a rock.

I encourage you all to embrace these (hopefully) snow-less 6 months and have sex outside. If you get caught it’s an even better story!

Talk Nerdy to Me?

Many people have written books on dating and romance. How to meet someone at a bar, How to romance the pants off of a significant other and many many others.

Recently I discovered a book on Amazon called “I Can’t Believe I’m Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating ”. The best part about amazon is that you can buy them used for $5. I almost can’t remember what dating was like before the Internet. How would you get to know someone? Talk to them in person?…HA! Our world has evolved from giving out your phone number to giving your MSN contact and adding them to Facebook with an ever so ironic and clever “poke”.

The magical world of the Internet has opened a Pandora’s box in the dating world. It can be the worst thing for relationships and hearts or it can be one of the greatest tools in the history of flirting.

The e-world is filled with all kinds of Internet relationships. From single serving sessions of love to people getting married over IRC (believe it or not but that couple is now celebrating their 12th wedding anniversary). We are a world filled with all kinds of lonely people. Some more than others, but granted we are all looking for some sort of connection… romantic or not. Hiding behind a screen allows a safe and secure place to be yourself or who ever you want to be. Craigslist personal connections or word of war craft are two great examples. They say the Internet was originally created for the military… well I think that’s a lie. I think the Internet was created for all the awkward people of the world to unite. Eventually it evolved into not only a tool for the awkward and nerdy but a place for our entire generation to socialize virtually.

With a tool that allows people to interact in such an easy fashion comes huge problems. Dating websites, pay cam/internet porn, and online networking sites have developed into a billion dollar industry because we’re constantly searching for a greater connection.

Facebook, Msn and Myspace seem to be three of the most popular forms of communication for my age group. I’ve seen many relationships grow and some of them crumble using these tools. It all starts with some casual flirting and maybe a comment on a picture or something of the sort. It then eventually grows into messages everyday and comments on profiles. Their friends add you and eventually you start to spend more time in person together and going out on group outings. Before you know it a relationship has evolved. Then the greatest event of the modern relationship happens “The Status Change”. These days nothing is really official until its announced to the virtual world you are “now listed as in a relationship”. Every thing runs smoothly until there are other interesting people that get added to the friends list. More comments happen, more messages and before you know it the poison of the Internet sets in. It comes in the form of jealousy, uncertainty and curiosity. These new people are coming into your partners life the same way you did. Do you trust them?

Relationships are more and more easy to find online, whether it’s long distance, in your home town, or by the minute… anyone can feel like they are special to someone from the comfort of their own home. Is the temptation too much? Can the modern relationship survive modern technology?

Sue Johanson

Sue Johanson has been educating our vast nation about sex for over 30+ years in a very straight forward and direct manner. She is truely a great Canadian icon and will be missed by many in the wee hours of the morning. She has finally decided to end her tv career but will still continue to make public appearances. Watch her last episode will air on May 11th 2008. (tonight).

http://www.cbc.ca/mrl3/8752/news/features/graham-sex-sue-080509.wmv

http://www.cbc.ca/arts/tv/story/2008/05/07/talk-sex.html

Male Enhancement Procedures Part II

Pills
Contaminants found included mold, yeast, dangerous E. coli bacteria, pesticides, and lead. But then again, those contaminants are pretty much in everything that also does not make penises bigger. Remember, it’s not because a pill is labelled ‘natural’ that it means it’s safe. E. coli is natural.

Penis pump
A penis pump is a tube in which you put your penis, you then pump up a vacuum inside which makes blood flow into your penis. You then put on a penis ring so the blood will stay inside your penis. This will allow your erection to last while having sex.

Downsides: obviously not permanent, might get blisters on the penis (probably on your fingers too), damaged capillaries from overuse, temporary impotence. Oh yeah, and that’s not to make the penis bigger, it’s to make it actually stiff. It’s like Viagra, except it doesn’t work:

A study was published in the British Journal of Urology International in 2006: A group of men with small penises willing to use penis pumps three times a week, for twenty minutes each session, over a period of six months. A clinically tested vacuum erection device was used, not a sex shop product. At the end of the study there was an average increase of 0.3 centimeters, which is not statistically significant. But even though this average increase is minor, 30% said they were satisfied with the “treatment”.

Smart alternative
Trimming pubic hair will make the penis look bigger.

For overweight men, losing weight will have the same effect.

But it’s not just looks, it’s what’s on the inside that counts…

Right? or Right now?

I seem to know a lot of people who never seem to ever be single. They jump from relationship to relationship without any sort of leeway. Which makes me wonder… are they just settling for “mr./miss Right now?” Do they just not want to be alone so much that they stay with someone who is not really suited for the future? Are they aware of the situation?
What about you? Do you see a future with your partner?

This poll is 100% anonymous.
Do you Feel you are with Mr/Miss. Right? or Right Now?

Male Enhancement Procedures Part I

Surgical Interventions

Length enhancement : division of the penile suspensory ligament.
According to the European Urology Journal, vol. 49 issue 4: ‘’The mean increase was 1.3 cm, ranging from −1 to +3cm, with the addition of a silicone spacer placed between the pubis and penis giving a better outcome. The overall patient satisfaction rate was 35%’’ Their conclusion being that this ‘may increase penile length but usually not to a degree that satisfies the patient. Men often have unrealistic expectations regarding the outcome of surgical intervention and should be encouraged to seek psychological help primarily, with surgery reserved as the last resort’.

Girth enlargement: tissue culture:

Alloderm is an acellular dermal matrix derived from donated human skin tissue supplied by tissue banks under the standards of the American Association of Tissue Banks (AATB). It leaves no residual foreign tissue around the penis after reabsorption by the body. The USA Food and Drug Administration (FDA) regulates its use and has nor approved AlloDerm as a “void filler” nor for “cosmetic augmentation”.Obviously, it’s not an obstacle for cosmetic surgeons to use it.

Downsides: effectively irreversible, may have side effects including loss of sensation, scarring, deformation AND inability to perform penetrative intercourse. But I’m sure you can still pee.

Asexually confused?

We live in a world where there is such a flood of labels that have migrated to the bedroom. Metrosexual, asexual, bi-curious, bi, homosexual, heterosexual, promiscuous… hell I’ve even heard someone call themselves heteroflexible.

In the past year one of my dearest Montreal friends started to make jokes about how I was asexual. She did this because I had not been pursuing any guys in a long time. I just laughed and thought it was ridiculous. A month later I found out some more friends thought I was asexual. Which got me thinking - what is asexuality?

According to Wiki the definition of Asexuality is a sexual orientation describing individuals who do not experience sexual attraction.

I never really thought about asexuality until it was brought to my attention. What gives people the impression that someone is asexual? Granted I am not always searching for sex and currently single but does that make me a case study for asexuality? I am sexually attracted to many guys, however I don’t feel the need to act on it in every circumstance. Is this why people assume my sexual orientation ? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think asexual is a horrible thing. I really don’t care about other peoples sexuality. I just never considered myself classified as asexual until people started to mention it to me.

Wikipedia claims that “many asexuals do have sex” and “An asexual person may have a latent sexuality that will be awakened by a suitable romantic or sexual partner. This is commonly phrased as “not having met the right person””. When did someone looking for the right person who they are sexually attracted to have its own label? So what happens when they meet the right person? Are they no longer asexual?

We sleep around to much we are considered promiscuous…. we look for the right person to have sex with that really turns us on and we are considered asexual? What ever happen to the label of just being ’single’. Why can’t we just enjoy our single lives with out people giving us labels trying to explain our behaviors for wanting a single life. I am convinced these terms are made up by people in normal sexual relationships where doing it from behind is ‘wild’ in their books. People who can’t understand how someone lives their lives with out the routine of a relationship.

Asexual or not I will just stick to my heterosexual single label. Its a good life. I am usually single because I want to be and enjoy the easiness of it all. I am a relationship masochist so being single is just a much more drama free pleasant lifestyle… This doesn’t mean the idea of a sexual partner is not always in the back of my mind.

Heading South - Blinding Lust in a Sexual Paradise Lost

If you’re looking for something exotic but not clichéed, read Dany Lafferrière’s Vers Le Sud. It takes a steamy look at the sex tourism industry in Haiti during Jean-Claude “Baby Doc” Duvalier’s oppressive regime in the late 1970s. But more than that, this politically pointed film contemplates the darker social undercurrents beneath a seemingly benign example of sexual tourism. Read it, and we can discuss if sex workers have agency, or are they the victims of a global sex industry? Is it wrong for a white middle-class woman to ‘come to paradise’ to fall in ‘love’ with a young sex worker, since she’s exchanging money, or is she still committing a crime and… pedophilia? The vision that the book offers is one of a passionate crime to commit over and over again. And it is way above consensual. The characters are complex, fully realized, and most of all, memorable.

Dany Lafferière also wrote Comment faire l’amour avec un Nègre sans se fatiguer (How to make love with a black man without getting physically tired)

Here’s an abstract of Heading South. Good porn enhanced by a good story.

Certains peuvent demeurer le même homme dans une église comme dans un bordel. Albert, par exemple. Some men can remain the same in the church as in a whore house. Albert, for example.

De toute façon, on ne peut pas empêcher un cœur d’aimer. Surtout un corps. Un corps, c’est pire encore qu’un cœur, Fanfan. Anyway, you cannot keep a heart from loving. Especially a body. A body is worst than a heart, Fanfan.

If you’re the type who watches the action but does not listen to the dialog during movies:

Il paraît qu’ils se sont battus toute la nuit. Il lui résistait. Elle était déchaînée. Cette jeune fille si délicate. Elle pleurait. Elle le griffait à la poitrine, elle le frappait au visage de toute sa force, elle l’insultait, elle mendiait une caresse, elle quémandait un baiser, elle le menaçait de hurler et de faire croire qu’il tentait de la violer, elle pleurait de toutes les larmes de son corps, elle le suppliait de la prendre. Lui, il n’était pas insensible à la luminosité de ce fragile corps blanc, si rare dans la case d’un nègre, mais il savait aussi que s’il cédait, c’était la mort qui l’attendait au lever du jour. Plus il résistait, plus son désir à elle devenait violent. Finalement, un peu avant l’aube, il entra en elle, et elle hurla tout en enfonçant son poing dans sa propre bouche. Il s’est endormi sur elle tout de suite après. Imaginez : un esclave et une jeune fille blanche.

Fruit Bowls inc.

I believe in having sex with people I love, and I believe in loving, well, everyone. Actually, I’m a picky person, but when I pick, my mouth is more shut then my legs are open. So to the people who actually know me and have been inventing stories about guys I’ve fucked or not:

 

Please stop making me laugh; it’s amusing but it’s getting redundant. We are not in grade 10 in the OC. So I’ll give you five bucks and you can go buy yourself a life. If you like drama, you can use that money to go rent a movie.

 

And if you do want to gossip, then you should know that I believe in second, third, fourth and fifth second times when it doesn’t work, and you should know that when it actually did work, someone turned out to be pretty darn good, and it wasn’t me.

 

So come on, moral indignation = jealousy with a halo. You might want to try using your mouth for things that are worth it. It works for me

Summer Camp part II

We were three counselors and a head counselor for the subgroup of nine mentally and physically challenged female campers from age 25 to 69. From a previous post, you’ll remember that the head counselor was also my summer love. Seeing her lately reminded me of everything that I learned during those weeks which made me the physical being I am today.

 

See, I didn’t just fall in love with L-. My sexual attention was devoted to her, and she knew it, but my heart was all over the place.

 

At the camp, you have three categories of subgroups: autonomous, semi, and multi. Multi campers require constant attention. There’s a ratio of one counselor to one camper. Our nine campers were semi: they weren’t able to express their needs, but once you got to know them, you learned to anticipate them. Along with the simple but magical activities that we invented for them (theatre, crafts, bals- we danced with them by pushing their wheel chairs) we also provided daily care. I lost a lot of weight and had back aches: several times a day, we performed transfers: for example, from the bed to the wheel chair: you have to bend over the person while she’s lying on her bed, put an arm under her back and the other arm under her knees, lift her and place her on her wheel chair, and the maneuver is different for each camper because most of them have different skeletal deformations, so you have to make sure you don’t hurt them. Other transfers were from wheel chair to toilet seat (many many times a day) and back, but the hardest were transfers to the bathing tub because they required us to bend even lower. Those transfers made me love my body for what it had the strength to do. These simple acts made me realize how much I love the human body. It’s so far from what you could think- that I was ever interested in seeing naked women in a position of vulnerability and total dependency. No, never, and you could only understand if you were there. It’s the bond that we created. It’s not because they are mentally challenged that they don’t realize that you are stepping inside their intimacy when you are changing their diapers or giving them baths. And they let you in. And you have to deserve it and prove yourself up to the task.

 

During those moments, I learned to adapt myself quickly like never before. My favorite camper was the eldest: she was 69. Every morning I would wake up earlier so I could pick the camper I would provide morning care for, and I always picked her. See, she probably didn’t remember my name or didn’t really understand the words I spoke to her, but we had the simplest and most pure friendship. Every time I bent over her, she would stick her tongue out and lick my nose and laugh hysterically like if she just caught me off guard. Anyone who would stick their tongue out in direction of my face would probably get a slap before they even got near. But with her, I always felt it coming, and the other counselors laughed every morning- it was our little thing. Campers are not booksmart, but their communication skills are unique. The one morning that she didn’t lick my nose, I knew something was wrong. I didn’t hear her laugh once that day, and it worried me. I brought her to the doctor on the site and she found nothing was wrong. I gave her extra attention for the rest of the day, I played in her hair, I danced with her, and when we went swimming, I was the one who held her. The next morning she licked my nose and I knew it was better.

 

The human body is capable of so many things, and communicating is the most precious. Every counselor could tell you this; your body is a tool you have to use to make campers feel better. What happened with the campers had nothing to do with sexuality, yet, it was tender and affectionate. They looked forward to bedtime when we would stroke their hair and talk to them. For no other people I would climb on stage and pretend I’m a lion while I’m pushing a wheelchair and pretending the camper who’s in it is a mosquito I’m chasing while singing camp songs.

 

The heart is a muscle; once you use it, it grows bigger, it hypertrophies. And when you get back to real life, even if you ignore it for a while, it’ll never shrink back to the size it was before. I carry these women everywhere with me. That’s probably why I’m still so attracted to L-, the head counselor. Because she reminds me of everything I am at my weakest and strongest. And even though I’m not an emo lover anymore, even though I’m sometimes cold and act like a heartless bitch looking for clients, she knows I care. She’s the only one who knows me and sometimes I hate her for it.

woke up in a car

the girl stays in a hotel but we had sex in a car.

car-asutra, limitless possibilities. but having sex with a girl is frustrating. strap-on? you’re joking right? I guess it takes time, to get to know each other once again… I’m pretty old-school, not really up for plastic stuff up my ass. but damn, the feeling of breasts against another pair, mmm mm good. I’d never get that with a guy, even a really fat one. but the breasts come with the request to spoon and spend the night. she slept on top of me in the backseat. I woke up after a couple of hours and woke her up. We went back to the hotel for a long and not frustrating shower. I am now ready to study for my final later today.

speaking of knowing each other. car sex is nice, but you’re really static. best kind of sex after shower sex and ocean sex: catamaran sex.

Mister X#3 was a tarzan-look alike, but born to drive boats. He looks like he’s straight out of the jungle, with his long curly hair, his strong jaw and his slightly sweaty forehead. And he’s good at multi-tasking too. See, I hate to be the bimbo sitting there and doing nothing, enjoying the ride, the ocean and sunbathing. And plus, just looking at his body and what it could bring me made me horny. So I wanted to give him head while he was driving the catamaran (which we would ride every day during the week we were in Dominican Republic) but he kept on laughing because he saw other couples on catamarans. The worst thing that can happen when you’re giving head, after biting, is if the guy starts laughing. I got him to use a longer stick that makes it easier to control the catamaran if you’re laying down (I don’t think it’s meant for that, but it worked) and we had quickies that did not make me feel useless at all. So raw.

Sex on the beach is ok, a bit too corny. Sex in the ocean, however, wets you inside out. A little public, but then again, every body’s doing it (but you don’t want to think about that). He wouldn’t even take my bikini bottom off, he would just displace it a bit and get in. I still can’t believe how he was always ready. It was an all-inclusive vacation, so I didn’t get to cook like I love too, especially when he comes from behind and makes me forget the recipe. He was hard when I wanted a little time alone to take a shower, he was there when I was reading before going to bed, he was there in the hot sweaty clubs to ‘help me find the bathroom’. SEX til your knees HURT. Hot guys make me forget I also like brains. It’s a good thing I was really into having sex with him, and even if I weren’t, I think he would’ve forced himself into me a couple of times a day. And I would’ve liked it.

The only thing that I like more than a very feminine girl is a dominating guy who lets me think I have a choice.

alternative to facebook

why do porn when you could do real life?

artsy, provocative, elegant, NUDE, celebrating diversity: http://www.beautyandsin.com/home.php

one of my favorite profiles: burmohini
http://www.beautyandsin.com/photo.php?id=538

sex, religion, advertising

freedom of expression allows provocation
FLIRT VODKA CAMPAIGN
http://www.peshtera.com/?lang_id=3&prm=products&cat_id=4

translated from Bulgarian:
‘She said she would need a longer time to choose’

 

‘Keep the Memories’
 

 

‘Are you ready for your angel?’

 

alcohol and religion…
The Bible says that Noah planted a vineyard after the flood. Then got drunk. Later on it says that Noah lived for 900 years.

 

Self-destruction part I

 

Step one : pick the one guy who won’t have you
Step two: wait
Step three: forever

Alternative

Step three/plan B: switch to girls and pretend you’re in a homosexual phase anyway.

 Step three/plan C: apologize for something you didn’t do… for that you have to have a heart, and offer it in a gift wrap, and be prepared to have it ripped open, torn in hard but mushy pieces that will never fit together again and will probably bleed all over the place and drown the sorrow you thought was already drowned in tears. That’s if you have a heart.

How plan B did not work:
So this girl I was in love with, like, way too long ago, sent me a horny email.

So I’m thinking: can’t have the penis, try other penises. When great penises don’t come with OK brains, spend time with friends (uh, which also happens whatever health of sex life), and also answer horny email.

Which I totally misinterpreted. Coucou, j’ai rêvé à toi hier soir was more like I’m in town and I want someone from the past to come play with my hair while we talk about the past and maybe drench the pillow with tears and other liquids of non-sexual nature. Geez, you’re already testosterone-challenged, work and make up for it. It’s not that I don’t love breasts and firm butts, because I do, but maybe mine are enough for now. I’d even choose pretty metrosexual boys over that. Seriously, the messed-up version of a female brain is not the reason I dropped in your hotel room wearing the little black dress and no bra or underwear. Girl, suicide will never be an option, stop making people consider it.

Ghosts from the past, no matter how hot they’ve gotten, and how many hours you spent masturbating to the thought of them/having sex with someone from the opposite sex to the thought of them, should stay in the past. 

I still felt this involuntary primal response that makes the heart race and palms moist. But I had to suffer the whole ‘I don’t recognize you. Why don’t we click anymore. You changed. And you’re not even attracted to me anymore’ gna gna gha gha brrr Oh did you say anything? So sorry, I was too busy waiting for you to undress. And after all that emo soup, she asked if I was in the mood. Anything but. Sex is like air; it’s not that important, unless you’re not getting any. I waited for her to freshen up, I kissed her and left. Which leaves me the option to come back later. With tape, earplugs and other goodies. Once she’s cooled down with her lesbian expectations.

      
Plan C… not happening. I do have a heart, it’s just that I like to think that my brains and vagina pump most of my poor anemic blood. Thus it leaves my heart, well, working full-time for useful organs.

daily confession

Speaking of desensitization (previous post); well, it does not happen. In a week, the long P and I have covered more than I ever have with previous partners. I don’t know what he’s going to teach me next.

So I don’t know/care to what level he thinks we’re close, because we’re not, but he started talking during sex. I guess it’s his way of keeping my attention in between orgasms. He’s good. If anyone can ask me to cum again, it’s him. And he did. Hot and confident, but not too much. But it made me start to laugh hysterically, with his face so close to mine. Like, I could not stop laughing. He pulled off and I sat upright to laugh. His ‘come again’ made me think of the old asian guy working at the convenience store close to my place. Tank you, come agayne?!  Try to explain that to a new lover. I skipped, and proceeded to come again, while I kept my face buried in the couch arm so I could continue laughing. He tried to ignore it and thrusted harder. Daaaamn, the guy is long and patient. I felt ridiculous so I gave him head a couple of minutes later, but I had to stop because I couldn’t stop hearing the voice in my head. Pleeease, come agayne?! I think my body won’t vascularize the brain and the v at the same time. Of course I went on. At least leave a good last impression… If I ever see him again, I’ll just smile from afar. if I ever hear from him again, it won’t be while doing it. Anyway, I think we’ve had enough for a whole month.

He must think I’m a very happy person. mouths should be kept too busy to talk/laugh when getting busy. I hope he doesn’t think I’m retarded. I know I would.

Emails.

The year has been way too heterosexual so far. I hit the jackpot of dramas and their penises. In sexual relationships, tensions don’t hit the heart: there is no such muscle. They hit right in the ego. But the damage is reversible. However, the problem can’t also be the remedy, no matter how good it tastes. You become desensitized. It’s time to look around.

 

A quick call, and my V met the world’s longest P. Note to self: building relationships while I don’t care about the size of their sexual attributes (friendship) can prove fruitful in time. No need to even compare. Longest and… thinnest. Can’t have everything. Like a pen, but more like a 2D very long pen. The thing hurt. Like when you’re too full. That’s what I thought, until my arms started to hurt too, not from the moves that were my shy answer to my new mister does-it-all, but actually the pain came from the three travel vaccines I had gotten previously that day: one in each arm, and one at the thigh. The fact that it did not hurt right away at the clinic should have hinted that it would creep up when most appropriate. Needless to say the band-aids that proved those darlings were a great pretext and proof that I needed to end belly-up…who needs two people on top anyway. Classical does not mean boring, and can be and was source of (multiple) enjoyment. Perhaps I should tip him.

 

To be honest, my mind was somewhere else. It’s a bad habit I’ve been developing this year. When even the longest P doesn’t compare with reading an email, that means the email was sinful.

 

I think the good lovers are those who can grasp what’s going on in your mind. And The Best Lover knew exactly where to hit: an email. Maybe it was the timing (a friend I really cared about just insulted me real bad and I was already starting to miss him), or maybe it was that it was a total surprise, but the simple ‘Coucou, j’ai rêvé à toi hier soir’ (Hey, I dreamed about you last night) turned me upside down. Must have been a nice dream.

 

She knows me enough to know that I thought about her all day the next day, and even though I had to concentrate on studying and thus needed food and caffeine, I couldn’t get anything in. Even my stomach was thinking about sex.

 

And I knew her, that sentence was not to be taken as corny cheezy à la Marvin Gaye. It was daring and proud, it was there and not to be ignored, a bit like her butt. It was more like Coucou, je te veux demain soir (Hey, I want you tomorrow night) or even Coucou, je t’aurai demain soir (Hey, tomorrow night, I’ll have you). Even after a year and a half of not seeing her, she’s the only one I would make place for on my planned to-do list during finals. (The long P has developped a habit of just popping in: the door is usually open. We don’t plan, we just do. We’ll get tired of each other soon. It’s like having prime steak every night; it’s tiring for the mouth and for other organs. No matter how you have it. That’s why we have vegans and chastity underwear).  Maybe I’m idealizing the only girl I’ve ever really been with, or maybe I’m just bored of penises and their owners, all I know is that she was delicious and I could not feel too full with that.

 

We were the two people on top type of pair. So I didn’t answer yet.  I have a Suis-moi je te fuis, Fuis-moi je te suis complex, which is only good for breakup sex. Shouldn’t be bad for one-time reunion sex either.

A Tip

Wonder how pornstars have perfectly smooth skin down there? Why don’t they have those annoying bumps normal people get when they shave or wax?

Apparently baby rash cream, zinc oxide, helps get rid of them. It dries up your skin though, so don’t use too much.

I’ve heard antiperspirant also works, makes sense too, I’ve never had an ingrown there.

Losing My Ass Virginity

I was always one to imagine my first time having anal when I was married and bored of the regular holes. Many boyfriends and lovers had asked, begged and annoyed me to do anal with them but I never really felt the urge to do it. Maybe because they asked… it seemed kind of unsexy. Please baby, just let me fuck your assss, pleaaase.

It was my third year of my undergraduate at Dalhousie and the previous week I had met an older guy, a known sex blogger actually. The first time we met, we ended up having sex that was so rough I could not decide if it was the best sex of my life or the worst. I was curious to find out so I invited him over again.

He entered my room and placed his items on his nightstand: 3 condoms, a bottle of astroglide and two pairs of handcuffs. I sat on my bed as I watched him do so. My heart was beating faster. He brought what seemed to be a camera bag and placed it on the floor. He attacks me and we roll around in bed for a while, biting, hair pulling, wrestling each other on my bed. The only phrases uttered include, “Horny little tramp” and “Slutty little cunt”. Some articles of clothing come off and he grabs his bag and pulls out a video camera [Note: I had never made a sex tape before, hell..I still haven't since then]. He pushed me down on my back, took my hand and shoved it in my calvin klein lace thong. Ok, he wants to film me touching myself, I can do that. After a while he hands over the camera to me and goes down on me, I film him but it’s getting harder to keep the camera from shaking. Once he sees I’m turned on to no end, he takes back the camera and sets it on my desk, facing my bed. It’s still on.

He made me get on all four and handcuffed my hands behind my back. He pushes my head down into the pillow and buries his face into my ass, kissing it, licking it, making it wet. He slaps my ass, pulls my hair so that I arch my back and pushes me back into the pillow. He fingers my pussy until I’m dripping wet as he licks my ass and then starts fingering it. One finger…two fingers.

He grabs the bottle of astroglide and squeezes over half its content onto my ass, running down to my beige comforter. He puts on a condom and starts to rub his dick on my ass. My mind is racing What the fuck is he doing? I knew what he was doing, but…how dare he? A week ago I was fucking his roommate and it was sweet, kisses, he’d tell me I was beautiful as we had sex. Now I’m about to have my ass fucked by a guy I met last week? I was speechless…yet I wasn’t saying no, because he didn’t ask anything.

He fucks my ass, all the horror stories I had heard before, seemed ridiculous. I screamed my head off but not out of pain, just out of…holy-fuckness? The feeling was overwhelming, it was dirty as fuck and it felt amazing. Midway through, I asked him to stop so I could catch my breath and ask him to unlock me of my cuffs. I took off my bra, stretched out my arms and got back in my position. I looked back at him and he knew he could keep going. And he did, until he came.

He packed up his stuff and left. I took a shower and went to bed. The next morning I went over to my friends from University to tell them all about it (none of them had done it before). I told them how I couldn’t have pictured my experience any better. The following weeks, he moved to a house in the middle of the country 5 hours away and sent me stills from this video.

This happened 3 years ago, he’s still one of the very few that have went there. I still get wet when I think of my first time. No other times have come close to being this hot.

And for all you curious pervs, I’ve never watched that video.

I know a lot of you seem to never believe anything I write, so how about you surf on over to Hotaction and see what he wrote about this little encounter, there’s even photographic evidence.

What is up with Tom Ford?

Truly a man’s man, Tom Ford is ex-Gucci now running his own design shindig. That isn’t half as impressive as appearing on the cover of Vanity Fair with Scarlett Johanssen and Keira Knightly (Well dressed, while the actresses were butt naked). If that weren’t enough, his website is perhaps the most impressive I have seen in a while. Although, I must admit it has seen better ad campaigns in past. I was wondering if anyone wanted to venture someone more impressive in the field of sexy? Chuck Norris must be excluded as he is obviously incontestable.

The Day Was Good

female objectifying and/or plain funny?

Meet Ceasar

Considering that the nicest automobiles in the world are also the most expensive, it doesn’t surprise me that the best personal pleasure machine ever produced is also one of the most expensive! I’ve not heard of too many complaints from the owners of a Rolls Royce and the same goes for the Caesar Machine. Some things are just worth the cost.
-Richard Rain Owner Roman Industries, Patent Holder of Caesar Machine

Women, rejoice. Meet Cesar, The Sex Machine. Available now, affordable. In one size: huge. It does not know dysfunction, does not need feeding, does not need to pee at the wrong moment.

Natural-looking huge penis at the end of a long metallic stick (not very esthetic, but serves the purpose). The stick can be fixed at the end of your bed. You have a remote control that allows you to pick the strength and the frequency of thrusts.

It’s not bitter Julie-who’s-been-getting-the-worse-sex-of-her-life-lately who’s speaking. Sounds like a bad porn movie? IT IS. (The machine is really on the market)

Title: Sex and the Machine
Director: Jenifer James
Productor: Richard Rain, 2007 (Patent holder of the Machine, remember?)
1hr45min

What you get:

- cheap leather costumes

- elevator music that makes you want to press the mute button as often as the fastforward one.

- sadomasochistic action. Oh and pleeeease, the savage-looking Tarzan look-alike character is way overdone.

- big fake boobs; If there is one moment that you get to be superficial, it’s when you watch porn. I don’t care if she’s blonde and has boobs twice the size of her head; if her face looks like a man’s and the boobs do not look like boobs, it is time to retire

What you do not get:

a soundtrack that is actually in sync with the action: Slurpy blowjob noises while the action is sadomasochistic whipping does not get anymore not-exciting.

Finally, it’s okay to talk to your dog, but NOT to your sex toy/machine, whatever you want to call this device. No matter how much you ‘don’t need men’. ‘You’re not okay, you’re perfect’ oh pleaaaaase. Electricity serves me great for some things, but for others… Women empowerment, 24/7 availability, performance, sure, but I cannot believe for a second that this thing could be satisfying. It would break my non-heart if I ever got to this point. If you want to promote sustainable energy, there are electric cars. I’m not ready to buy myself orgasms, and even if they were free… At least ShoppingChannel infomercials don’t have me screaming in horror. The movie does a poor job at selling the device, to say the least.

It’s a good thing I was in good company.

Sexy Controversy

LeBron James and Gisele Bundchen

Vogue Magazine, April ‘08

photographer: Annie Liebovitz

The cover has been compared by bloggers and the media to King Kong
Racial and sexual stereotypes? You see what you want to see.

I see a strong, talented and multi-tasking man holding the happiest damsel in distress.

Sweet Fucking Dreams

I want to thank Marilyn Manson for being part of the rawest sex session of my life- the song, not the video.

My friend told me she cuts herself after sex.

And she’s been getting a lot lately.

I kept thinking about her when I was getting my own sexual healing late tonight. EmotionallyRetardedPartner did not notice. Unzip, come, zip. My phone lost his number.

Euphemism: I am worried about her. If only she could see herself the way I -and everyone- see her.

”I wish I had known as a teenager what I know today about my body; that whatever the shape or size, it’s perfect” (Felicity Huffman)

Summer Camp

People tend to think that bisexuality is more of a very open state of self-exploration than a permanent sexual orientation. It is “homosexuality lite”, “You’re either gay, straight or lying,” Type of comments that fit in a straightjacket.

Some experts, like Freud, concluded that humans are naturally bisexual. My opinion? You know what turns you on, men, women, horses- no need for a label, be it an identity or just a phase. “Bisexuality doubles your chances of getting a date for Saturday night” -Woody Allen. Whatever, I say Carpe diem.

I, for myself, love men. Actually I love penises. Men… I have yet to find some real ones. However, I find real beauty in women. On Alfred Kinsey’s scale of 0 (exclusively heterosexual) to 6(exclusively homosexual), I am not homosexual, I am not heterosexual. In Kinsey’s words, “The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats.” I am sexual, period. Sexuall. I guess that makes me a 3.

So I don’t really have a type, penis or vagina, pecs or breasts (although I don’t do women with pecs), thin or a little chubby, tall or short, hairy or not (women with body hair, then again, I don’t do). Call me nympho, I call myself curious and most of all, appreciative of the human body. The body is beautiful in itself. Sucks for you, I have twice as much variety. And who says I need to pick.

A common belief is that bisexuals cannot be happy when they pick only a man or only a woman. I believe this is wrong. I mean, I’m attracted to brunettes and redheads, but if I date a brunette, I don’t also need to have a redhead on the side. Granted, hair color is insignificant compared to penis/vagina, but the comparison fits my point of view.

__

I first knew when I was working in a summer camp with mentally and physically challenged campers. I never learnt so much from two weeks; for one, it gave me the drive to become a doctor, and for two, it got me interested in women. My experience with another counselor lasted three months. She was very feminine, taller, long brown hair, tanned, green eyes, 4 years older. And full breasts. But most of all, it was her voice, the way she walked, the way she looked at me. Her energy. I have a thing for artists. She knew that with every look she got me intrigued to a point when it became unbearable. It was hard to concentrate on giving the best care to our campers when I knew she was staring at me. She told me she was obsessed with checking out my ass. It made me laugh, she would wink at me.

I woke up everyday and gave my all to make our campers happy, sometimes making a fool out of myself just to get a quick smile. But when I let myself think of her, during our few breaks, while cooking, in bed, in the shower, I could always imagine her with me, on top of me, under me. I was at year 3 of experience with men, so it was not that I was getting tired (and I am still not getting tired and I doubt I ever will).

The teasing was very subtle. She knew I had a boyfriend, he actually came all the way from Montreal to visit. She found him very attractive. After the first day, we got very close, we didn’t have the same interests except for the urge to help others. And she helped me allright! The weather was perfect. And the evenings. After a couple of midnight swims with other counselors, we started hanging out on the beach just us two. We were naked in the lake, but nothing happened.

On my second night-guard (every night, one of us had to stay with our group of campers) she came to keep me company. **side note: I discovered that mentally challenged individuals have a very healthy sex life. We actually discovered that one of our campers masturbated every night, and seriously I still wonder if she watched porn regularly because the way she moaned… let’s just say if we closed our eyes we would think she was enjoying the best and, hehe, longest sex of a lifetime. I was very happy for her**

So when the last camper fell asleep, she (the counselor, not the camper!) somehow managed to squeeze in with me in my “sleeping” bag. She must have known that I had never been with women. Respectfully but in a determinate manner, she caressed me while we were talking, like if it was what people usually do. It felt right. Then I got to know her tongue and fingers. She got to know mine. She said she needed me.

I offered to do every night guard. The other counselors were in heaven. I was exhausted, but it was worth it. Every night I was eager to know if she would come back. And she did. I needed her. Quickly it was also the mornings. I love to eat, but it was worth skipping breakfast.

When I got back to Montreal, I would come back to visit her every week for the rest of the summer. I had my boyfriend, and we eventually broke up. I was under the impression that some men liked women who like women, but apparently, not him, and seriously, I did not give a fuck.

Since then, I have not really been with other women. I miss her. I have never been attracted to any of my girl friends that I know are heterosexual. I would try out new stuff if I knew that the other girl was up for it too.

All I know is that I am, most of the time, up for doing it with any of my carefully chosen men. I also know that I want to have a family with a man I will love. Although I will never belong to anyone, men know I belong to them. But for now, what really gets me is challenge. Erotic and emotional. And the sky knows that I am not getting any challenge from guys my age. Actually I do, but that guy is my crush and it’s a secret. I also have a crush on a girl right now. I love the teasing. I hate men who play hard to get. But women who do keep me awake. What gets me is sensuality, way more than sexuality. I’m not a nympho, I’m bicurious. I’m sitting on the fence And I am free.

Pride and Boner hauntings.

Lately I’ve been on a deliberate sexual hiatus. Ok.. 3 weeks, but I usually start getting antsy after one week. I haven’t figured out why I’ve been avoiding it, maybe the last romp was too good and whatever was available for me lately didn’t seem up to par. I’m picky that way.

I was also attempting to be a good girl seeing as my ex from France (I left him when I left the country in May 2007, after my teaching contract expired) was crossing the Atlantic for a week-long visit to Montreal. I thought it would be a bit sleazy getting involved with anyone the week prior to his vacation.

However…I’m being haunted. By a hardon.

It all started a couple weeks ago. I met a younger boy. We watched a few movies, ordered some food. Pretty chill Saturday night. I live on the east side of the island, he lives west. It was a lot more convenient for me to just crash there and take the subway back home the next morning.

I slept in my undies, brazilian cut and a tight white tee. He slept in white boxer briefs. I tried to sneak a peak at his package but he turned off the light too quickly. We talk a lot. He asks me many questions about everything. He’s trying to figure me out. One question stood out for me though. He asked me “If you had to guess my penis size, what would you guess?” I told him what I thought, honestly. He was short, a bit of a jerk, to me this translate as.. it’s probably average to below average.

He seemed taken aback by this answer. I flat out told him he could just whip it out and prove me wrong but he said he doesn’t just show it off. Finally, we start to fall asleep. He says “You don’t cuddle do you?” I took this as a sign that he wanted to cuddle. I said “Cuddle me”. He spooned me and fell asleep within minutes.

He invited me to do the same thing a couple times following this evening. The bedtime conversations started to become more explicit. He spoons me again however this time, he gets hard. I back up my ass against it, out of curiosity. I want to feel if it’s big or small. It’s hard as rock. His hand is on my stomach, pulling me in. I can feel his breath getting heavier on the back of my neck every time I slide my ass up his throbbing cock, every time I arch my back.

I reach around and grab his hipbone (my favourite body part on a man) and pull his body closer against me. Still I only touch his cock with my ass. I guess I wanted to see how big it would get. I’m pleasantly surprised and unfortunately, a bit turned on. I put my hands in front of me and I let his fingers discover my body.

I have no idea why we’re teasing each other like that, we don’t even like each other.

Repeats a week ago. Talks, sleepovers, spooning.. boners. The sexual tension is building. We’re both too stubborn and proud to make the move on the other person. It’s at the point where it’s impossible to sleep due to the sexual frustration. He fell asleep once we stopped talking about sex. I fell asleep with my head on his chest… his hard cock 30cm from my mouth.

He said he thinks of grandmas eating puree to be turned off. I on the other hand, have stopped going to get my brazilian wax done. I’d never let a guy see me …grown in, therefore, it’s the best method of birth control at the moment.

~

This past week, my cute, sweet ex was staying here. All the way from France. We didn’t have sex. He didn’t initiate it and I was always the one to initiate it when we were together. I get bored of that so I’d rather go without than make the move. A woman wants to feel… wanted, needed. I wanted him to throw me on the bed the minute we got back from the airport. Call me a romantic, call me weird.. I don’t give a fuck.

All I could think about was my friend’s hardon. That powerful, raging boner that popped up just by having conversations of a sexual nature. Nothing gets me wetter than feeling a man’s cock being so hard it’s painful.

I made Frenchy some homemade waffles with whipped cream, strawberries and maple syrup, a smoothie and bacon. He fell asleep after brunch and I snuck to the living room to masturbate.

Piece of Info

Genital Retraction Syndrome (or Koro): culture specific anxiety disorder where the individual is distressed with the perception that that his/her external genitals (also breasts for women) are retracting into the body, shrinking, or even removed.

Recent outbreaks have been reported in Nigeria, Benin and Ghana and generally involve the public accusation of penis theft, often following an unwelcome touch from a stranger.

Some cases in Thailand have placed the blame on Vietnamese Communist agents who would have put chemicals in the water (I’m not joking). Minor Koro epidemics have seized parts of Asia, including a well-documented 1967 outbreak in Singapore. Hospitals were inundated. Many resorted to clamps, pegs, and even a constant firm grip from concerned family members (plural??) desperately trying to prevent the member from vanishing. (again, not joking)

RACISM
In Sudan, victims were made to believe by force of suggestion that their penises would melt away after they shook hands, shared a comb, or received a verbal curse. The Sudanese columnist Ja’far Abbas warned visitors to avoid shaking hands with “a dark-skinned man” or else…

MEDICAL OPINION
Obviously, doctors find that there is no actual shrinkage; any actual damage arises from overly zealous attempts at preventing retraction. Medical response is to inform patients that the genitals anatomically cannot retract or shrink in the manner feared (yes, even if it is very very small)

In my opinion, this disorder is the result of big fat phallocentrism. If Freud came across this, he would probably relate/blame the ‘theft’ on his theory of the female unfulfillable (without technology, that is) desire to own a phallus. (I won’t start commenting on that theory…!)

Definitely, a man without a penis is not a man. Though I am far from saying that owning a penis makes you a man. Mmm… let’s see, brains? It’s a good thing that there are no disorders that make men think they physically lost their head. But then again, you can’t lose what you don’t have. And when they do have brains, it’s not always a conscious ownership. How often do men self-stimulate their brains? whereas their penis…

I understand trying to hold on to your valued possessions. However, in areas where Koro occurs, this phallocentric energy needs to be invested somewhere else, maybe… sex education.

Also, I definitely believe that this type of anxiety is contagious. For example, if you know that this syndrome exists, you might be more prone to ‘getting it’. So sorry.

Details…

If you don’t want details, please don’t read this.

Let’s just say I really don’t need my condoms to be lubricated these days. And, like, it causes problems with my recent fucks. I guess I shouldn’t complain, usually women get the opposite. All I know is that I REALLY CANNOT picture myself old and dry.

Quoted advice